Page 40 of Devour

He stands to reveal that his white shirt is already turning a cream color and his navy pants are wet from the waist down to the knee. Ouch. Gram just doused the man. I can’t help but smile because this is karma. My sweet gram would never do something like this on purpose.

A few seconds later, Gram returns carrying Nicholas’s clothes. “Hurry. I’ve got him naked and waiting for you.”

“I don’t know which part of that sentence was more disturbing,” I croak.

“I’m old but not blind. Now go get him. You’re welcome.”

“Gram.” I strive for patience. “I can’t go get him.”

Gram shrugs and holds up the wet clothes. “Sure you can. He ain’t goin’ nowhere. Unless he wants to wear some of my clothes.” She snickers. It’s in this moment that I realize my gram is a dirty old lady.

“Did…” I narrow my eyes. “Did you purposefully spill hot coffee on him to get him out of his clothes?”

“I left my scarf, too. I wrote my number inside of it and hid it. Then I called the hotel telling them where it was. I knew Mr. Deschamps would call me back.”

“Youorchestrated all this.”

“Took him long enough to return my call.”

“I have to go apologize for accusing him.”

“I have some ideas on ways to earn his forgiveness. I used to do them to Pappy.”

I’m going to vomit. “If you love me at all, you will stop talking.”

“Well, that’s hurtful.”

“My ears are hurting. Never speak to me about Pappy in that manner again, Gram.”

She rolls her eyes and then shuffles on to the laundry room. “I’m going to drop these in the wash and go to the store.”

“What? You’re leaving?”

“I’m not going to listen. Then my ears would be hurting. I want great grandbabies, but you’re still my little bit.”

I stand there in shock and humiliation as my gram throws the clothes in the washer, starts it, and then walks out. Idly, I wander if those were supposed to be dry cleaned. A moment later, I hear a low voice. “Um, hello?”

Shit.

Twenty-Two

Nicholas

Lying in the old woman’s bedroom, wearing nothing but her robe, was not part of the plan. Much respect to Ethel. I mull over all the conversations and events leading up to this moment. The old bird has me right where she wanted me all along. Here I thought it was luck Ethel left something behind, but I of all people should know better. She was playing me the whole time. I’m not even upset. In fact, I’m rather amused by this turn of events.

I see a crocheted penis on the night stand and pick it up. I flip it over in my hand and examine its little smile and black beady eyes. What the? Well, I’ll be. It’s an uncircumcised penis, and the foreskin rolls up. If it wasn’t so disturbing, I might go as far to say it’s cute with the eyes peeping over. A crocheted uncircumcised happy little peen.Ethel, you are full of surprises.

A door closing has me pausing midway from pulling back the crocheted foreskin. “Um, hello?”

The door swings open to reveal Maeve in the doorway. “Hi. Oh. Oh my.” She focuses on the sight before her. I don’t takeoffense to her stammering and wide eyes. It’s a lot to take in. I’m not leaving much to the imagination – not that she hasn’t already seen what’s under here. I’ve not considered pink floral before, but I think it works for me. “What are you doing? What’s that in your hand?”

“I’m playing with my penis.”

She forces a smile. “I walked straight into that.”

I pat the bed. She sighs and shakes her head. I pat again, more firmly. “Your gram went through a lot of trouble to get me here. Be a shame to disappoint her.”

She arches a brow. “I’m not entertaining either one of you.”

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