Page 38 of Arrogant Arrival

We step off the wood flooring of the restaurant and onto the rocks and pebbles of the beach. We can still hear the music, so Jolene continues to dance as we walk. She’s so incredibly sexy, and it blows my mind how I don’t think she really knows how special she is. Suddenly, she stops and turns to me with a look of horror.

I reach out to her and ask, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, but is there a restroom nearby?”

I look around. “There’s a few tourist shops and cafés up there. Let’s go see. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”

“If you need to throw up, nobody is around. There’s some bushes over there.”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No, no. I need a restroom. Not a bush.”

I lead her up the hill from the beach and back to the sidewalk. We walk along the shops and come to a relatively large one. “Want a magnet?”

“What?” She pants as her face looks like she’s almost in physical pain.

“We have to buy something before we just use their restroom. It’s not really acceptable to go in a place only to use their restroom.”

“Fine. Sure. Grab anything.”

I pick up a little magnet and ask the gentleman at the counter if he has a restroom Jolene can use. He points to a door in the back. Jolene rushes back and runs in the little room. However, as soon as the door closes, it reopens.

She comes up to me and whispers. “There’s no toilet. Only a sink and … a hole.”

I nod. “Yeah, a lot of bathrooms in Greece don’t use the full toilet.”

She raises her hands up and looks to be on the verge of tears. “Jimmy, there’snotoilet. Not even part of one, like the bowl.” She leans closer and grits out, “I can’t go in a hole.”

I nod, “Okay. Let’s try the café.”

I tell the gentleman thank you and leave with our magnet. We go to the café, and I purchase a bottle of water. Jolene rushes to their restroom and five seconds later walks past me and out of the café.

Catching up to her, I ask, “What happened?”

“They had stalls and bowls but noseats. I was scared I’d fall in. And the doors on the stalls were like textured glass. The kind you can’t completely see through – butyou can see.Jimmy, I have to go! And I need a full bathroom with privacy! Why is this such a struggle?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Here in Greece, public restrooms aren’t a big thing. Can you make it a little longer? Let’s try this place.”

Jolene groans and I hear her stomach gurgle. She looks like she’s on the verge of tears, and before I can ask again, she takes off in a sprint. I chase after her.

“I’m going back to the room!” she calls back. “I know it for sure has a bathroom. I can’t keep hunting. I have to go!”

By the time we get to the room, I’m exhausted and sweating. Jolene rushes to the bathroom and slams the door shut, locking it. I hear…well, I hear what I would have only assumed was a man on the other side of the door had I not seen her run in there with my own eyes.

“For the love of God, turn on the television! Turn the volume uploud! Please!”

“Jo,” I try to hide the smile in my voice and hold back laughter. “Honey, sweetheart.” I have to bite my hand to keep from laughing because I hear her passing gas—loudly.“Are you okay?”

“No,” she cries out followed by more sounds. “Please, go away! This is humiliating enough as it is!”

“Jo, babe, everyone has these types of issues at some point in their life.” I stifle a laugh. “And everyone gets diarrhea and passes gas.” The more noises she makes, the more I want to die laughing. I gather my composure before continuing. “It’s natural.”

“This is not natural! I don’t know what I ate or drank, but never a–again.” Her voice is strained, followed by more unpleasant sounds and then she yells. “Will you please give me some privacy! Get away from the door! Take a walk!”

Snickering, I walk over to the television and turn it on. I turn up the volume, and I faintly hear Jolene yell, “Thank you!”

Even over the television, I can still hear her rumblings, but I won’t ever tell her that.

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