Page 60 of Single Chance

Rowan frowned. “That sounds…extreme. And awful for you.”

I shrugged. “There were two or three good nannies in there, but yeah. Extreme is one word for it. Self-important is another. My dad has a god complex. Both of them do. They don’thaveto work that much; they choose to. They’re a perfect match and at the top of their fields, but they never should’ve had kids.”

“Are you close to your brother?”

“Nope. He went their route. Workaholic, thinks the world can’t turn without him doing his thing. I haven’t talked to him in probably three years.”

“I’m sorry, Chance. That sounds like a tough childhood.”

I shook my head, let out a sardonic laugh. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I had everything a kid could want. All my needs were covered.”

“Except their time and affection,” she guessed, hitting the nail on the head.

“I’ve always sworn I’d be the opposite of them. My kid comes first. Only problem is my kid doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s not true.”

“I don’t need her to want to hang out with me. I just feel perpetually helpless as a father. And then seeing that beating heart on the monitor today…” I shook my head, overcome as I remembered that moment. “When you first told me you were pregnant, it took a little while for it to sink in, but it did. Or I thought it did. Today was…more real. Like 3D real. Like how can I be a father of two when I’m fucking up royally with one?”

“You’re not fucking up.”

“It sure feels like it when my daughter hides in the basement and barely says two words during dinner.”

“She’s a teenager,” she said as if that was the end-all, be-all explanation for everything.

“That’s a copout.”

“I worked with teenagers for three years. They’re moody, self-centered, and everything causes angst. From what I’ve seen, Sam’s a good kid at the heart of everything.”

“She is. She’s so damn smart, Rowan. She’s always gotten straight A’s, but now that she’s in high school, when it really starts to matter…” I shook my head.

Rowan seemed to be thinking that over. “Adolescence is hard,” she said. “Especially for girls. Especially without a mom.”

“I’ve always tried to be both dad and mom to her.”

“I bet you’ve done an amazing job of it.”

I scoffed.

“You said it yourself. Certain topics are harder for a dad with a teenage girl. Have you ever grown boobs? Bled for several days a month?”

I cringed. “So, what, I shouldn’t even try?”

“You should always try. That doesn’t mean she’ll accept it.” She took a drink of her decaf coffee, set down her mug. “I was super close to my grandpa when I was little.” Her gaze went distant, and a smile crept over her lips. “He used to play ‘school’ with me.” She laughed. “He always let me be the teacher.”

The image of a pint-sized Rowan with a whiteboard made me smile.

“He played basketball with me too. Taught me some fundamentals. We played so many games of Horse. When puberty started though? I went to Gram for everything. I still loved Gramps dearly, but our relationship changed.”

“You and Sam bonded more in your first five minutes in our house than she and I have for months,” I said, beginning to understand her point.

“I can see that. Because fashion. Most boys don’t generally get it.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

“My situation wasn’t like everyone else’s, but I know from my friends, mother-daughter relationships are unlike anything else. Moms drive their daughters nuts, but also daughters sometimes just need their moms. Or a mother figure. Gram was that for me. Someone to tell them no matter how exciting it is to get your first bra, it sucks to wear one for the rest of your life. Someone to assure them the heartache caused by an unrequited crush will pass.”

I realized I didn’t really know whether Sam was interested in boys yet. The little shit at the beach was the first one I’d heard about other than a crush a few months back, which I’d effectively discouraged. Did she have a crush on the beach jackass? Someone else? I didn’t ever ask anymore, because I knew I’d want to run him out of town if she did, whoever it was.

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