Page 47 of Single Chance

Rowan

Ishould’ve known, when the owner of the garage apartment postponed my tour of it for two days, it wasn’t going to work out.

It turned out she’d postponed because the sink had leaked everywhere, and she’d needed to clean it and let it dry.

Points for her for leveling with me, but there were multiple reasons I couldn’t raise my baby in that studio apartment, not even for a few weeks.

After my tour, I parked in the Rusty Anchor lot and sat in my car while I gulped down the rest of my PB-and-J lunch. As I ate, I pulled up the Tattler app again to see if there were any new listings since last night. Of course there weren’t. I did an internet search for rentals in Dragonfly Lake, but again, no miracles popped up.

When my sandwich was gone, I headed inside to get back to work. I was sick of worrying about my living situation. My afternoon work tasks would be a welcome distraction.

After throwing my coat and hat into my office, I grabbed the box of promotional materials from my table and went out to the second-floor public area so I could spread out and work faster.

Kemp had developed two special beers with a Valentine’s focus: Dark Desire, a chocolate stout, and a cherry wheat called Love Is the Pits. Not only did we have a fancy Valentine’s evening soiree to celebrate them, but Henry’s Restaurant would be pushing them hard throughout the month of February. I’d picked up the materials from the printer this morning, and now I needed to assemble the table toppers, prep the menu inserts, and take some photos of the two brews for social media.

I was halfway through the table toppers when I heard footsteps behind me.

“How’s it going?” Chance asked. Even though I’d suspected it was him, my heart tripped up at the sound of his voice.

“Good,” I said automatically, folding another topper and assembling it.

He picked up one of the table tents and looked at both sides, then nodded. He’d inspected them earlier today, so that wasn’t why he was here.

He sat on a stool at the table where I was working. I glanced up at him and smiled as I would at any of my coworkers. Damn if I didn’t get a jolt from how good-looking he was, just like I always did. I did my best to ignore the stupid reaction.

“How was the apartment?” he asked.

That was the real reason he’d come out.

I merely shook my head as images of the mildewy place filled my mind.

“Not good?”

“It was bad. Now I know why the rent is in my budget.” I put the topper on the adjacent table with the others and started on the next one. “It was old, drafty, and had enough water damage that I wouldn’t sleep there myself, let alone bring a baby in.”

“I’m sorry. I know you were hoping it would work.”

I looked up at him. “It’s nothing against you. Just…I was hoping to have my own space.”

“You’d have your own space in my house. Your room would be your castle.” He smiled and kept his tone light, but I didn’t feel light.

I felt trapped.

Chance glanced over his shoulder as if checking that we were alone. I knew we were. The acoustics of this room made it impossible to sneak in.

“Why are you fighting this so hard, Rowan? Help me understand.”

My emotions jumbled up in my throat, making it hard to speak. I didn’t want to get emotional, not over this. I spent so much of my time feeling overwrought and overwhelmed by feelings these days.

The baby alone was so much to absorb. Parenthood? Me? Right now? Who thought I was capable of being responsible for a child? I often felt like a child myself, particularly since all the people who’d raised me were now gone. If Gram were alive, I’d be so much more confident becoming a mom. She would’ve guided me through.

Grief seeped through cracks in the floodwall as it did multiple times a day, often when I least expected it. I steeled myself, patching up the crevasses, hoping they’d hold until I was alone at the inn tonight.

When I thought I could talk without crying, I kept my eyes on yet another topper, folding, assembling, fastening.

How much could I admit to him?

I trusted him with a lot. Maybe it was myself I didn’t trust enough.

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