Page 22 of The Enforcer's Redemption

"Yeah, well, we don't have to talk about it," I grumble, and I push the potatoes around on my plate with my fork.

"I think we do," Ronan says firmly, and he folds his hands over his plate and stares at me. I'm sick of being the subject of their conversations, especially over dinner. I wasn't the only one who spoke with our late cousin during his rebellion, but I'm the one who is being pinned to the mat and my life examined with a magnifying glass.

"Ro, please…" I shake my head and shove a potato in my mouth, and Isla looks up at me with curiosity. I hide the wince I want to let sneak out. I'll never live this down, my mistake. My family will hold this over my head for the rest of my life, and it's one of the reasons freedom from this entire organization has been so tempting to me.

"Your own choices brought you to this point, Declan. You can't make a mistake like that and then think you can walk away without consequences. They've lost faith in you." Ronan's eyes are as hard as steel, almost as black too.

"Feck's sake," I grunt. I'm sick of hearing his lectures.

"I'm just sayin', he's stirrin' up trouble." Finn's head dips as he wipes his mouth and drops his napkin onto his empty plate. "Ro's right, D. The family lost confidence in you. I'm worried they're gonna call for your head or at the very least, your dismissal."

My younger brother worries too much. There's no reason to believe my cousins and our trusted soldiers will openly call for me to be removed. I'm here proving myself now. If my willingness to cast the rest of my life into this family by way of arranged marriage doesn't show my loyalty to them, nothing ever will.

"I'll handle it," I grunt, and I touch Isla's knee under the table. I'm more than ready to leave now. I'd like to put distance between myself and my brothers, and I’m sure I will always feel like this every time they bring up my near failure.

"The fact that you entertained Eamon's snakish lies for even a second is all the doubt they need." Ronan continues his lecture, and my eyes meet Connor's. None of them know he actually made the plan to go, to flee, and was trying to convince me to go with him. I will keep that secret to my grave because to betray him would be to betray myself. Blood is thicker than water and Connor knows it. His ears burn bright red but he speaks up.

"Yeah, the family saw, so what? He's here now, doing the right thing." I nod at him, and his shoulders rise and fall in a calming sigh.

"You're right," Ro says, now with his eyes locked on me alone. Maeve looks tense next to him, shoulders squared, head hanging like Isla's. She's been part of these family meals where I've been reamed more than once. She knows how the lecture could escalate to screaming, but this time with my bride to be by my side, I will myself not to snap.

"Ronan, please…" I say again. I'm doing everything in my power to correct my stupid mistake and protect my brother from feeling the same heat. We were both foolish to think Eamon could ever have led this family. I was an idiot for entertaining the idea that Ronan wasn't the man for the job.

"This wedding will go a long way toward appeasing them, and until they fall in line and stand behind you, I told you to handle the problem." He tips his chin. "If you can't do that, maybe you aren't the enforcer I thought you were." His eyes narrow, and I stand up smoothly, nudging Isla to join me. She rises as I nod at my leader, my oldest brother, the chief, and huff out a sigh.

"We'll retire now so we’ll get enough sleep for the wedding. See you all in the morning." And with that, I place my hand in the small of her back and let it ride there as I escort her to the room prepared for us. This wedding can't come soon enough. I'd have done it weeks ago if he let me. And when it's over, if Brynn keeps stirring up shit, I'm gonna bring the hammer down. The man won't know what hit him.

16

ISLA

Dinner was tense. As Declan shuts us into the room Ronan prepared for us to sleep in tonight, all I can think is how tense things are. The number of weapons this family has stashed on this property for something like a wedding is terrifying. Part of me believes it isn't safe to even go outdoors, let alone spend all day out there under a tent, signing my life away. And I don't want my parents here. Rebecca and Mum will be horrified to see the situation.

Da really got himself in deep this time. I wonder, as I walk into the bathroom to put on a silk nightgown, if my father actually knows the type of men he's handed me over to. If he knows they trade in blood and steel like this. If he knows the life I'll be sentenced to live out the rest of my days should I never be able to escape from their hands. A life of crime or a life on the run. Those are my options.

"I'm sorry," Declan says through the door as I drop my skirt and blouse on the bathroom countertop. My eyes catch my own reflection in the mirror, and I see the ugly yellow and greenmarks everywhere. The accident and the way those men hit me—it's healing but still painful.

"For?" I say back, not really sure what he means. If it's an apology for locking me away, forcing me to marry him, I'll accept it. Then I'll plead with him to help me get away. After everything that's happened, he surely has to see how scary this is for me. They burned my house to the ground. They ran us off the road and nearly killed me. He almost lost his life trying to protect me.

The O’Reillys are dangerous. They won't stop coming for me until I'm dead. I know men like the O'Rourkes have ways to help people vanish. They cover up crimes all the time. It would be simple.

"For dinner… for the whole day. For scaring you…" The door pushes open, and I stand there in nothing but my bra and panties, hands on the bra clasp.

It isn't the first time Declan has seen me like this, but his eyes this time don't flush with erotic desire like normal. This time, they sweep over my marred skin and his lips turn downward in a frown. I shake my head and sigh, turning away from him. I don't like him seeing me like this because it reminds me how much I want him, how good he makes me feel, how I long for his hands to bring me to that precipice and then pull me back in.

And if I think of those things, I forget how scary this whole family is. How they murder and steal and cover it up. How they've got something over my father to the point where he can't even get away from them without trading my life.

It isn't fair. It isn't right. And I have to focus on that as Declan's hands gently touch my biceps and he presses a kiss to the back of my shoulder.

"I promise it won't always be like this. We'll get through the wedding and you'll see. Life can be very normal." His words tighten my gut, make it roil with confusion and indecision. I want to believe him, but I don't. How could I ever settle into this life with him to the point where murder and thievery became normal?

"Help me," I say softly, almost so quietly, I can't hear myself. I don't know if he hears me, but my heart thuds against my chest in anxiety that he does hear me. It's fear of being punished for how I feel—the way Ronan breathes down Declan's neck for almost defecting. And it's fear of being rejected—being told he can't or won't help me. Maybe even a little fear that he will help me and that I'll never see him again.

"I can't, Isla," he whispers. As he does, he turns me to face him, and I rest my hands on his chest. I wish I had some way to take my raw emotion out of my chest and give it to him so he could sense what I'm feeling, the dread and panic. So he could see how desperately I need his help.

"You could get me a new name, a new identity for me and my family. I could go where Sebastian's men can't find any of us, to Russia or the United States. Please…" I realize I'm begging, how weak I sound. But I'm only doing it because I know he cares. On some level, he knows my heart. Why else would he truly protect me like this? Why would he offer me any compassion or sympathy, any gentleness?

"I could, but it wouldn't be right." His eyes cloud with frustration. There's a lot on the line for him too. I know that. If I don’t marry him, what will happen to his family? I heard what Ronan said at dinner. I just don't know what it all means.

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