Page 31 of Hell Gate

In the few seconds I manage to hold his fire in my palms, my stomach rolls as reality overlays with the buried memory of my childhood resurfacing from the tight mental prison I locked it away in. I drop my hands and the flame dissipates. It doesn’t take my harrowing memories with it.

I remember that feeling, the sensation of something taking control of me, to stop the pain and fear of my small head being pushed under the bath water. That night, after my foster brother pulled me from the tub, it whispered to me and promised to take away my hurts. While he yelled at his mom, it erupted from me before I understood what would happen. It lied.

People were right to fear me. Those strange things that follow me…I cause them all.

My shaking scarred hands cover my face. I’m unable to stop hyperventilating. An awful noise of despair tears free.

All three demons rush me.

“Breathe, sweet blossom.” Alder keeps murmuring to me, his lips brushing my forehead as he gathers me in his arms before my knees buckle. “Breathe for me.”

Within a few minutes, he helps me calm down. I sniffle, listening to the steady beat of his heart until I stop trembling. His embrace feels safe, wrapping me up and sheltering me from the world. He won’t let the fire or anything else hurt me. I can fall apart and for once there’s someone there to catch me.

“You know it won’t burn, so why panic?” Valerian scrutinizes me. I bury my face in Alder’s chest. “You’ve done that before.”

It’s not a question. Alder strokes my back. Gritting my teeth, I nod.

“You’re blocking yourself,” Valerian says. “Instead of panicking over whatever your mind is telling you, you need to face it. Access that side of yourself.”

“Enough testing your theories for one day, Vale.” Alder plants himself in front of me to shield me. “We confirmed her power. She needs a break.”

I step around him, shaking out my hands as I pace. “I’m fine. Just—give me a minute.”

Valerian gets in my face, moving too fast for me to track. I gasp at his proximity, aware of the intense press of Matthias and Alder’s gazes. They don’t stop him, despite Alder’s admonition a moment ago.

“Come on, Lily.”

His growl is demanding, the rough way he says my name making my mind snap to this morning when he practically covered my body with his in bed. He grabs my waist and hauls me closer. My hands fly up on instinct and rest against his chest. His heartbeat is thundering like mine. I should push him away, but the feel of his hard body against mine makes me hesitate.

“Fight me off,” he commands, then lowers his voice to a sensual rasp as his nose grazes my cheek. “Blow us away again like you did last night, little flower.”

A strangled cry lodges in my throat. The tight hold I keep on my emotions shatters, already shaky from facing my memories and unable to withstand the way my chest blooms at his words, leaving me caught between anger—at him, at myself because some part of me wants him to keep pushing me, to take this further—and the force of my desire.

My forbidden thoughts that taunted me, tempted me in the shower an hour ago flood back without my willpower to compartmentalize it all. They’re the absolute last thing I should be thinking about in this situation.

A burst of hot air and a blinding stream of sparks knock him back when I shove against his chest with a fierce yell for making me face this. The familiar tingling in my palms lingers. My eyes grow wide. I did that. That—that power came from me.

Valerian regains his footing several feet from me across the alley. Staggering back another step, he swipes at his mouth with an intrigued glint in his eye. “I see. Strong emotions allow you to get past the seal. It’s a start.”

Shit. It’s true.

My dazed attention falls to my scarred hands. They turn blurry before me as overwhelmed tears gather in my eyes.

All those incidents that frightened my guardians in the system, the fire at the Clarks’, the things they brushed under the rug and explained away as me being a troubled, dangerous, uncontrollable kid.

I have powers. And I’ve been running from them all my life.

CHAPTERELEVEN

LILY

The next week blurs together as we stay on the move from those hunting us while they work with me to use my powers. To think that only a few weeks ago I was counting down the days until Halloween. I’m pretty sure it’s this week, though now I’m not sure if my birthday is even real. If I’m a trapped demon caged by some magic seal, I have no idea how old I really am. For all I know, being a demon could make me hundreds of years old, like the guys seem to be going off their casual comments talking about centuries like they’re nothing.

I’m losing track of where we are and where we’ve been from the constant cycle of motel hopping, and training to connect to my powers. Since the first moment I accessed them, an uneasy worry sets up camp in the back of my head. I haven’t got a decent night’s sleep since. That could also be because we don’t stay in one place for more than a full day, and when we do stop, the guys rotate guard shifts, one of them resting in the second bed while the other two keep watch.

Though they eat regular food, they don’t need as much sleep as I do, my practice sessions leaving me even more drained. They assure me once I learn how to wield the power hidden within me that it won’t tire me out so much every time I call on it.

I squint at the overcast sky behind today’s training grounds. The condemned roadside pizza shop provides cover while Alder and Matthias encourage me to set a pile of sticks on fire. My boot nudges the pile I haven’t succeeded in igniting. Not even a sizzle.

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