Page 32 of Hell Gate

“I’m not your walking, talking matchstick,” I complain. “And being here makes me crave pizza.”

If I focus on that instead of the large pond behind the building, I don’t have to think about Mrs. Clark. Letting the past in leads to me losing my shaky hold on the magic fire I manage to produce.

“Stop deflecting. You’ll never gain control if you’re not serious.” Valerian is a tyrant during these little training sessions, impossible to fool. Every time I get frustrated, he pushes my buttons to throw me off before I can compartmentalize my emotions. He pushes off the counter and circles me, the long black trench coat he wore the first night we met sweeping my legs. “If you continue to cower in fear every time you use your power, it will only fail you. That power is yours, Lily. Take it. Use it. Bend it to your will.”

Working my jaw, I prop my hands on my hips. “I’m getting tired of these lectures.”

He stops behind me, hot breath fanning over my exposed shoulder from the cut of my flowy shirt tucked into my fitted high-waisted skirt. “Tough shit. I’ll keep giving them until you show me you can do it.”

I roll my eyes and try again when he steps away. Reaching for my powers is finicky at best. I don’t know if young demons deal with this, but it’s annoying as fuck to feel so inept at the simplest tasks.

“You can do it, babe.” Matthias gives me a supportive smile from his cross-legged perch on top of a table.

Okay, inner power well thing. Time to make you my bitch.

Concentrating on the pile of sticks Alder crouches beside, I picture the flow of energy, the build of heat from smoking to the first spark to the flame catching, visualizing the odd sensation of painless fire twisting around my fingertips. It’s close, but not there yet. I shift my stance, sinking to one knee across from Alder, holding my hands above the sticks.

Wrong move. The pond snags my attention when it enters my periphery through the open door. My mouth floods with the imagined taste of metallic water and a gasp rips from me.Sink or swim. That awful, deranged voice taunts me from my memories even though she’s gone.

I lose it as a burst of erratic power knocks me on my ass on the dusty, dirty cracked tile. The pile of sticks implode, burning hot and fast until they’re nothing but cinders.

Controlling this is a struggle. I either produce inconsistent spikes of energy that are too much power, or end up with a sputter that’s far too little.

“Damn it.”

“Better. Again.” Valerian’s order brooks no room for opposition. He makes a demand and expects me to obey. “Get out of your head next time. You’re the one holding yourself back.”

The laugh that punches out of me isn’t humorous. I wipe soot from my arms and frown at the snag in my fishnets. They caught the edge of a busted tile. Better my tights than my pencil skirt, I guess.

Alder offers a hand to help me up. I smile in thanks. He doesn’t let go, drawing comforting patterns on my scarred skin. His musky woodsmoke scent surrounds me.

“You will learn to control this, but it only comes with practice.” He dips his head. “Understand?”

“Yes.”

At my determined exhale, he smiles, hypnotic green eyes hooding. “Show me what I know you can do.”

His steadfast belief in me feels like something I stole. It makes me want to get this right.

Clearing my mind, I shut my eyes to visualize better. Instead of following every change in the energy that tingles beneath my skin, I picture their displays of power. Their faces spring into my head. Their gazes, smoldering, predatory, and penetrating.

The heat in my palm expands with an incandescent rush that spreads throughout me with insurmountable speed, touching every part of me.

I hold my breath, staring in awe at the perfectly formed flame cupped in my hand. It’s beautiful.

“I did it! It worked this time!”

I beam at Alder first, then Matthias. Their smiles, both proud and happy, fill me with a glow I’ve rarely experienced. I seek out Valerian last, and my heart thuds at the way he looks at me, the satisfaction and hunger sending a bolt of excitement down my spine.

“Well done, little flower,” Valerian praises in a smooth tone.

The approval washes over me, opening me up further. It makes my heart drum, pushing me to go to him.

I take a step toward him, unsure why, but giving in to the intense tug drawing me closer. One of them rumbles as I take another. He pins me with his gaze and my nipples harden, every inch of my body strung tight. I want—

A splash in the pond outside snaps us all out of the heady trance. I blink, mortified at how badly I wanted to close the short distance between us to throw myself at him. It worries me that the onset is happening quicker and without us touching now, like an invisible force pushing me together with one of them. With all of them. Thanks for the save, duck.

The three of them don’t relax, their stances tense and alert. Valerian nods to Alder and he takes up a position at the back door. Matthias unfolds himself from sitting on the table and moves to my side in seconds, wrapping a protective arm around me.

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