Page 55 of Catching Fire

That at least earned her a little thaw. Not entirely, but his eyes were softer. Still, his mouth stayed pressed in a thin line. She knew what that mouth could do … But she couldn’t keep tumbling deeper and deeper into this with a man who might be here for the wrong reasons.

Though she waited for him to respond, to say that he was here because he wanted to be, instead he offered only, “I’ll pack.” And he left the room.

Pressure gathered at the back of her eyes as she told herself it was for the best. Their relationship, if it could even be called that, was giving her whiplash.

Seline told herself she would feel better sleeping in her own bed alone tonight, rather than with a man whose motives she questioned. She wasn’t even sure if he could untangle his feelings for himself. She sure couldn’t. And she deserved better.

So did he.

They headed out to the funeral together, but Kalan drove his own car with the intention of leaving in a different direction. His bag was packed and tossed in the back of his car.

Seline thought the fact that he could get everything into the one bag was pretty indicative of the reality of their “relationship.” So she tried to take it at face value.

Still, she clutched his hand as they walked into the church and toward the closed casket at the altar. As she headed down the aisle with Kalan at her side, she saw that the entire town had turned out. She wasn’t surprised to see the officers from the Redemption PD, and she recognized a small handful of agents from the FBI. There were others Seline suspected possibly belonged to other agencies. Some were here to grieve, but others were scoping the place out. Even she was watching to see if Sanders had come to follow up on his handiwork.

She didn’t spot anyone who could be him, but since she’d screwed that up in the past, she kept looking. Marina deserved her attention for this last service … the last chance that Seline would ever have to interact with her, and Sanders had stolen even that.

Her vision blurred and her jaw clenched even though she fought the sensations that swamped her. Marina was trying to helpher, trying to saveher, when she died the most brutal death a person could. Seline owed this woman far more than she could ever repay.

For a moment, the exhaustion and sadness and anger overtook her and she felt the tears rolling down her face. Kalan’s arms came around her, holding her in a way she didn’t deserve, not after she’d kicked him out so unceremoniously.

She should have been nicer to him—and to herself—she did want a relationship with this man, she just had no idea if this was it. Was she just the object of his clearly protective instincts? Sanders had managed to worm his evil into every aspect of her life, piece by piece picking her apart. Still, she sank deeper into Kalan’s embrace.

“We'll get through it,” he whispered softly in her ear. No one could hear him. Marina’s mother was sobbing openly in the front pew, her sister beside her in near wails. But Seline didn’t begrudge them their grief, she was simply grateful they hadn’t thrown her out of the service.

Though her heart twisted with her own added layer of guilt, she smiled a sad, watery curve of her lips against Kalan’s shoulder. Even in the middle of all of this, she wanted to be in his arms. But she didn’t want crumbs or his pity. She didn’t want to be the princess his hero complex rescued.

She sat in the funeral with tears rolling down her face, while her throat clenched and every muscle tensed on high alert, and she still had no idea if he actually had real feelings for her.

What if even her own feelings were created from the intensity of the moment? That kind of passion would fade as soon as Sanders did. Kalan's protective vibes would fade, too, as soon as her need for protection did. The third possibility, the one she gave very little voice to, was that there was something real between them.

And that was the real problem with her heart.

It was shattered already. Her friend was tortured and murdered and left in the water. Her friend had a threat for Seline carved into her skin. Though the agents hadn’t told her this specifically about Marina, she knew in the past he’d done it when the victim was still alive.

She wanted to vomit each time she thought about it.

She wanted to lean into Kalan and shelter her heart there from all the things battering it. It was hard to admit that—whatever Kalan felt—she was falling for himhard.

She’d kicked him out without being able to form the proper words. Though she’d said she wanted them to keep dating, she’d botched the hell out of the conversation. He’d been mad when he went upstairs to pack.

But right now, despite the fact that they were at a funeral, and not truly together, and that there was a threat of a serial killer looming over their heads, they seemed like any normal couple.

She just had no idea if Kalan actually belonged with her or not.

Chapter Thirty-Five

“Of course I've been checking my mail every day!” Seline almost snapped the words out. She'd been irritable for the whole week, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

“And you haven't seen anything?”

Agent Watson somehow managed to remain calm, but Seline couldn’t. “Of course I haven't. I would have told you if I did.”

Had she done anything to make the agents think she was hiding evidence? She couldn't imagine what that would be, so they were probably just covering all their bases, but she didn't have the mental wherewithal to figure it out right now.

“Has anything been slid under your door? Have you found anything in your bag? Or in pockets, anything like that?”

Mon Dieu. “How could he have gotten anything in my bag? I’m not allowed on campus anymore.” That sucked, but it was the truth.

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