Page 49 of Catching Fire

“Itwillgive you information and itwillbuy the FBI time.And what do I have left?” She looked up at him, finally, but her bleak expression broke his heart. “I'm pretty sure he's ruined my job.”

She motioned with one open palm around the room, but he wasn't sure quite what she was gesturing at. “They won't let me back on campus at all now, not since there's been another body. And it was associatedeven more closelywith me than the last two!”

Shit, he thought. “I'll cover your house payment.”

He knew she was mortgaged to the hilt.

“It's not that, Kalan. I live and work herebecauseI teach at the University. Atthisuniversity. I waited to buy a house until I knew I was staying in one place.”

He’d known that her job wasn’t like his, that she couldn’t just pick up and go somewhere else. She’d built her plan and her life here, away from the continent where she’d grown up. She’d created a home where she had no other. Sanders was chipping away at all of it, methodically stealing more and more from her with each move.

“Kalan,” she emphasized his name as though he still wasn’t catching on. “Unless the university just forgives this massive misstep, then I’ll never get the salary I need to keep my head above water. I’ll have to move to any place with a university willing to let a dismissed professor in, and if I’m lucky, they’ll let me start over at the bottom. I have to sell the house.”

He sighed at that. She loved this house, and she loved the town. And he loved having her here. But she wasn’t done.

“I bought this house forme. I built a chemistry lab in the back room. Who will pay me what I put into it?” She emphasized each of the last words. “I can’t even sell it for what I owe. Not for at least several more years. When I don't have a job, I can't make the payments. The bank will repossess it and I won’t be able to buy another home for … I don’t know.”

At least seven years, he thought. Though he still disagreed with her plan, she was right: he hadn’t understood what was at stake for her.

“I came to Redemption to make a new life for myself. And this assholetargeted me.” She slammed the body of the gun into the table with her anger. Luckily, it was just the piece, or it might have gone off.

“I’m done being his victim!” She said the words with conviction, though it sounded to him as if “being his victim” was exactly what she intended to do.

When Geller had come after Maggie, Kalan had mentally understood her anguish. But now, caring about Seline, andfeelingit happen to her rather than just watching it was another circle closer to hell. Still … “You can't do this, Seline.”

She didn't answer, but her hands stilled. She glared at him as if to askCan’t I?

“What about me?” he asked.

“What about you?”

Ouch. She tossed that back too casually as her hands started cleaning the gun again. She could not have cut him deeper. “I care about you. I want us to be together.”

“We only had one real date. You're just my fake boyfriend, Kalan. You're not even physically attracted to me.”

“What?” He stilled, then, far across the room to where he’d paced.“What?” he asked again, wondering where in the hell she'd gotten such a ridiculous idea. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe she was so mad that she wasn't seeing anything clearly. “I told you I was sorry. We went out, several times. Obviously, it’s not easy to date right now, but I'm more physically attracted to you than I have ever been to any woman. What on earth would make you think that I'm not?”

She stood up abruptly, leaving the gun, the oil, and the brushes on the table. The chair slid out behind her in her anger. She stomped her way into the kitchen and washed her hands, though she clearly wasn't finished with the job or with him. When her hands were dried with jerky motions, she grabbed the edge of the counter, as though needing the support. Anger radiated from her.

He could see that she took a calming breath, turned, and placed her hands on the edge behind her, and jumped up to where she sat on the counter. She'd gotten herself back together. “Everything. Everything says that.”

Then, one by one, she counted off his faults on her fingers. “When I touch you, you pull away like I've burned you. When we go to a restaurant, I've asked you to sit in the seat next to me and you always refuse. You insist on sitting on completely the other side of the table. You act like I have …lice!”

He knew what she was talking about, and she was reading it all wrong, but she wasn’t done. “When I kissed you the other night, you didn’t even respond! One chaste, little peck thatyouended. And it's been that wayevery single timewe've kissed.”

“Not the first night.” He could still feel the heat flare through him like flashover just thinking about the hot kiss on the front porch. He’d lost control.

“Honestly, the first night on the porch is the only reason I still wanted you.”

She did?

She waved her finger at him as though she had another fault to go. “The FBI asked you to be my fake boyfriend and, honestly, if you’re doing anything other than pretending, I can’t tell.”

Kalan felt his heart crack in two. He couldn't talk her out of her crazy plan to get Sanders to come after her, but maybe he could talk her out of the ridiculous idea that he didn't have any feelings for her. “Seline, you don't know the half of it.”

She just stared at him, as if daring him to speak and say something stupid.

So he took the dare. Let him say something stupid. Not saying stupid things had landed him here. It couldn’t be worse, could it? “I can’t sit next to you when I’m trying to see the entire restaurant. I positioned you to look one way and me to look the other so Sanders couldn’t sneak up on us while we were out on our fake dates.”

---