Page 236 of Time Stops With You

“I don’t want a session right now,” I grumble.

Darrel lifts a hand to the bartender and accepts the beer that’s slid his way. “Then I’ll drink with you.”

I frown at him.

He says nothing as he takes a swig.

Being quiet when I have a listening ear suddenly feels stupid and I start to vent. “He’s planning something again, isn’t he?”

Darrel says nothing.

“He did the same thing last time. He went off by himself and made all these grand arrangements for my life and yet he didn’t have a conversation with me once.Not once.”

“Have you asked him what his plans are?”

I take another swig, but the alcohol is bitter and I end up coughing.

Darrel hands me a napkin and points out, “Is it that you don’t want to ask or you don’t want to know?”

The weight on my chest increases and I turn away as tears glisten in my eyes. “I just want him to focus on now. On us. But he keeps trying to prepare me for when he’s gone. He thinks he’s being subtle about it, but he’s not.”

Darrel speaks calmly. “Cullen is very future-oriented. His expression of love is to prepare the future for you, even if that means letting you go in the present. On the other hand, you are present minded. You want to live in the moment, and you’d rather not think about the future until it gets here.” He pauses. “You and Cullen have chosen a very difficult path. Would you like some advice?”

I turn fully to him, ready to listen.

I think,” Darrel chooses his words carefully, “that the more desperately you insist on being in the present, the more worried he is for your future. Even if it hurts, don’t be afraid to paint a picture for him where you’ll be happy even if he’s not here. He needs that. Now more than ever.”

What does he mean ‘now more than ever’? I want to ask, but before I can, the front door opens.

“Nardi!” Josiah’s voice interrupts us.

I whirl around, stunned to find my mother and my little brother entering through the front door. Mom is clutching her purse in discomfort, but Josiah seems happy. He bounces right over to Asad and Dr. Young. The men, in turn, welcome Josiah with high fives and wide smiles.

“Jos, what are you doing here?” I ask, moving over to them. It’s great to see them both. I’ve wrapped myself in a little cocoon of love with Cullen, so I haven’t gone to visit them in a while.

“Cullen asked me to invite your family,” Sara explains.

I mumble to my mother, “I thought you didn’t like Cullen?”

“I don’t like you sticking around in a bad situation. It has nothing to do with Cullen.” She rolls her shoulders. “Anyway, I felt bad about deleting Josiah’s video, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to drop in for a few minutes.”

I smile.

Mom sticks out a hand. “Butonlyfor a few minutes. He has to go home and do his homework.”

Just then, Cullen and Sullivan emerge from the computer room.

The moment Josiah sees Cullen, he runs over and looks up at him with a big grin. “Happy birthday, Cullen.”

“Thanks, little man.” Cullen offers his fist.

Josiah bumps it.

“Alright, now that the man of the hour is here,” Sunny says, checking her watch, “and we only have ten minutes left, how about we sing and cut the cake?”

Cullen subtly touches his chest before nodding and walking over to the cake. Alarm bells peal through my head and I barely hear a word of the song. Is he in pain again?

After he cuts the cake and takes a photo, everyone cheers.

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