Page 198 of Time Stops With You

My head is pounding.

My lungs are burning.

I hate myself for snapping at Sunny. I hate myself for crying. I hate myself for wishing I could run to Cullen even now and beg him again and again to fight to live. To fight to stay with me. To stayforme.

Flinging myself against the railings, I squeeze the banister tighter and tighter until my knuckles turn from brown to cream.

The door behind me creaks open and Sunny’s heels click toward me.

“Nardi?” she says.

“I’m fine,” I spit. “Go away.”

“You’re not fine,” Sunny says quietly. “It’s okay to admit that, Nardi.”

I’m determined to hold it together but, the moment I feel Sunny’s soft touch on my shoulder, I crumple.

Sliding down the railing to the stairs, I cover my face with my hands and weep. The tears are hot as they roll down my cheeks. Sunny wraps me in a hug and pulls me in to cry on her shoulder.

My heart cracks and moans like a ship slamming into an iceberg. I’m drowning in my own tears, sliding into the icy depths where there’s only loneliness and ruin.

Why? Why meagain?

What wrong have I done to deserve this? Why is it that my dreams, my future, my hopes are continuously ripped from my bleeding hands?

Why? Why? Why?

Sunny holds me until my head feels like it’s got its own pulse and my tears dry up. I realize that my nose is runny and I push her away.

“I… ruined… your… shirt,” I say between sniffs.

“It’s okay. I can buy another one.”

My bottom lip trembles. “Must be… nice to… be rich.”

“It has its perks,” she allows, ruffling through her luxury purse to hand me some tissues.

I dot at my eyes, feeling sheepish and a little awkward.

“Would you like me to get a bottle of water? Or I can buy some food.”

“Can you… buy,” I wipe my snotty nose with a tissue, “Cullen more time?”

“I’m afraid money can’t do that.” Sunny brushes away strands of hair that are sticking to the dry tear tracks on my cheeks. “No one lives forever. All we have is the time we’re given. Once that time runs out, there’s no bargaining.”

I finally get a handle on my breathing.

She offers a tiny smile. “Better now?”

“Not really.” I blow out a breath. “Um, I’m sorry. About what I said.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I was rude to you when you were being kind to me. That’s inexcusable.”

“There’s no need to be so hard on yourself, Nardi. This is a very difficult time.”

She’s being so gracious that it makes me even more ashamed of my poor behavior.

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