Page 106 of Time Stops With You

“Tell me more about that conversation.”

I tilt my head, tracing the events of my night with Nardi. “You can say… it was a conversation that held a mirror up to me. I saw my reflection and I felt like a hypocrite.”

“A hypocrite?”

“I gave advice that I haven’t been following.”

“What was the advice?”

I glance pointedly at Darrel. “To ask for help when you need it.”

This time, he keeps his fixed, unreadable look, but I can tell my answer threw him for a loop.

“And what do you need help with?”

“I want to say something important, but I don’t really have a friend to… I don’t have friends,” I finish lamely.

Darrel smiles. “What did you want to say?”

“I’m going to love someone,” I declare.

“Going to?”

“Yes.” I dip my chin down once. “I’m going to love her with every bit of the strength I have left. I won’t leave any crumbs. I’ll let her wipe me out completely.” My heart thuds as the words leave my lips. Therightnessof that decision settles on me again and I wonder if this is why poets write and singers sing.

“Let me guess… the person you’re referring to is Nardi?”

“That obvious?”

“You let her deposit a bag of greasy French fries right in your hand.”

“To be fair, I did sanitize afterwards.”

“Still…”

I nod. “Yeah, still…”

“She’s important to you. Important enough that nothing else matters.”

“Right.”

“Is this the first time you’ve been in love with someone?”

“In love? Is that what I am?”

“Most people would say so.”

“I don’t think I’minlove.” I frown because the term has always meant so little to me. “I’mgoing tolove.”

“Can you explain the difference?”

“Being ‘in love’ means I can fall out of it. There’s no falling in or out. I’ve made my decision.”

“You can also decide to stop,” Darrel points out. “The risk of love is that it can’t be controlled.Youhave to choose, and the other person has to choose. If either one decides to do something else, the relationship breaks.”

“Maybe that’s true for other people, but it’s not for me. I meant what I said. I’ve decided to love.”

“Maybe you can explain more,” Darrel offers.

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