Page 43 of Charming But Reckless

When we weren't working together, we were all spending time with one another like the family they claimed us to be. Lunches were filled with food and laughter. Once we were done eating, we'd all sit around while Archie taught us some sign language, because yeah, I was in so deep I was learning sign so that I could speak to Takeshi without anyone between us.

The pair of them surprised me because seeing how enamored they were with each other, then finding out they had gotten married for reasons other than love surprised me. I had caught the two of them making eyes at each other more than once, which made me more than a little jealous.

I wanted that same intimacy with a partner.

Not just any partner though.

When I thought about who I could spend the rest of my life with and be happy, it always came back to Orion. It wasn't some faceless person or someone from my past. It was only ever him.

The entire week, all I could think about was how easy this all was.

Not easy in the sense that I didn't have to work for it. We still argued about things like other couples did. Sometimes about stupid stuff like who would get to do the laundry or how late Sol could stay up playing video games with Orion during the week. Sometimes we would argue about safety and what the future was going to look like. I was still holding on to my stubbornness and saying that we wouldn't be here for long.

My only reason to continue with the lie was because I was scared.

Fear held me back from the life I wanted. It always had in some way. Even when it was just me and Sol, I played things close to the vest.

Growing up with an abusive father taught me how quickly stuff could change. Then when Sol was taken, it was as if to further prove that point.

But Orion never gave up on me. He never left me behind or said that my worries were foolish. If anything, he would argue with me for a little bit, realize what was going on, and then reassure me that we would be okay. He would tell me that he always had my back and that his team was there to support us through it.

And with each day that passed, I believed him more and more.

These men, the family that they had built, were all so intertwined. There was no pulling one of them away. Now that I had come into the fold, I felt like the future was going to be bright.

It felt like the middle of the story where everything just goes right and feels good. There was no climax ahead. No danger loomed on the horizon.

Between getting to NightShade with the help of Detective Stabler and having them take me to the ranch, I felt like we had already moved past the uncertain part of getting to know one another. We were deep in the stage where everything seemed to go right.

One dayin my second week of work, I was aimlessly searching through the files Memphis had told me to. We were hunting down another possible lead on their case labeled TGO.

I've been around long enough to know that that stood for the Gilded Ones, an organization that was utterly disgusting, filled with powerful men and a few women who really should have just been swallowed instead of, you know, conceived.

The guys had worked hard to take out several of their leaders but there was still one looming in the distance. They had gone underground, hiding so no one could find them. It was driving the team crazy.

I could see it in their tight jaws every time a lead didn't pan out. It was obvious in the way their eyes and smiles dimmed whenever anything TGO related came up.

I wanted to help as much as I could. Though Memphis was a skilled hacker, I felt like he was working with only the tips and tricks he knew. Those systems weren’t getting them anywhere.

So while I had programs running in the background, I did a bit of searching on my own. I went into a few backdoor spaces that I had gone into while trying to look for Sol. I dove into them as deep as I could go.

A few of the contacts I had who knew me as the single dad searching for his son didn't seem bothered when I asked questions about certain things. I made myself seem desperate enough to venture into the dark side of the world as I pretended as if I'd given up looking. Like all I had left was myself, and I needed an outlet.

Several of them gave me the name of drug dealers that they thought could give me something to lift my mood. A few encouraged me to seek professional help.

But it was the one who sent me a direct message telling me about a rumor he had heard that had my hair standing on end.

The message read,"I hate to see you giving up about your son. I was actually hoping you would pop up online because I just heard murmurs about a guy trying to buy some kids. His sale fell through so he's back on the market and desperate. I think that's the only reason I was able to catch wind of it.”

I took a deep breath then messaged him back.

“I mean, I doubt it would give me much information, but I'll always take a name. I'm sure I'll look into it and there'll be nothing there.”

An eye-rolling emoticon got added to the end just to prove I wasn't that invested. The less eager I seemed, the better my chances of getting what he had.

He replied,"Snort, you always were one to change your motions quickly. The guy's name is Jackie Varr. He is a businessman though so be careful. I'm sure he's gonna cover his ass no matter who comes after him.”

I quickly replied, "Yeah you're probably right. I doubt it would go anywhere even if he was the one."

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