ONE
catalina
I squeezedAsher’s silk sheets under my cheek. How much time had passed of me just sobbing into the bed to the point that tears no longer flowed?
I sniffled. It had to be a minimum of a few hours. Even after letting all the negativity out, the throb in my chest hadn’t disappeared.
This all had to be some joke. Some alien controlling my life was out there laughing at my misfortune.
I weakly flopped over and scooted to the edge of the bed. It even hurt to sit up. I groaned and scrubbed my face. With all the effort I could muster, I pushed to my feet and trudged to Asher’s bathroom.
I nudged the door open the rest of the way and my reflection stared back at me. Messy hair, red face, blood shot eyes. Oh, God. I dropped my gaze. Best not to focus on how bad I looked.
Instead, I focused on my products nicely lined up to the left of the sink. Maddy, the human they brought to look after me, must have set them all up for me. The serum for my frizzy hair, a blow dryer, face wash, and hyaluronic acid serum . . . the expensive bottles laughed at me. All that and I looked like I’d had a fight with a vacuum, and the vacuum won.
My knees buckled and I leaned against the wall. It’d only been a night sinceshearrived, and I was drained, emotionally and physically.
I slid down until my butt was on the floor and my knees scrunched against my chest, close enough to rest my chin on.
I exhaled shakily and shoved my fingers into my hair. This was a fucking mess, and I held it together by a thread.
That female vampire—I clenched my teeth. Imogen. Her torn clothes, her ragged appearance. She had suffered away from my—her vampires. The way she broke down about being captured? No one deserved that, but I couldn’t help fixating on what her appearance meant.
Would they kill me now that she’d returned? Or maybe keep me around, feeding on me only when the craving struck. My stomach churned unpleasantly. That seemed exponentially worse. I groaned and pressed my fingertips into my eyes.
The uncertainty killed me.
A touch on my shoulder saved me from drowning in the doom my thoughts evoked. Asher crouched next to me, a soft smile on his lips. His palm slid behind my neck, and I stiffened. What was about to come out of his mouth?
“I’m sorry it took me so long to come check on you,” he whispered, bending low to look me in the eyes. His long golden hair fell forward, and his light blue eyes peered into mine. “Catalina.”
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Nothing will change,Älskade.”
It took my sluggish brain an extra moment. I understood his words, but I didn’t believe them. It was impossible for nothing to change.
“B-but she’s here,” I croaked.
His eyebrows furrowed and winged down.
“Pet,” he sighed. “You will never be rid of me. I told you this.”
For a brief moment, elation expanded in my chest and just as quickly it was smushed under the heel of my thoughts. Did that mean they would keep me while she still remained here? I jerked my head to the side to try to get him to let me go, but I was unsuccessful. I simultaneously wanted to fight him and take off running. If that was what they wanted to do, I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
“I will not stick around like a second option?—”
“Catalina,” he interrupted me, exasperated. “You’re not understanding.Nothing will change.We will keep you. Imogen has no place here.”
I blinked. Had I taken some sort of hallucinogen? Asher clasped my face between his large palms, pursing my lips with the grip. “But.”
My stomach hit the ground. “Don’t look at me with those eyes,” he said huskily. “We have to tread carefully when we convey that to her. She has to get healed up and . . . the vampires she Sired: me, Jaxon, Tobias, and many others thought we were free when we believed her dead. But now?” He shook his head. “There is a certain respect that must be extended to your Sire.” His eyes flicked to the side. “She’s always been impulsive. She’d easily kill you,” he whispered the last part. Agony flared through his eyes, forcing his brows together. “We need time. I need to talk to everyone, without her around, so we can plan.” He swiped his thumb across the dampness lingering on my cheek.
“And everyone is on the same page? About me?” He knew what I was asking. Jax’s love had returned, what he’d been bitter about from the start. No way would he stay with me.
“Ren is and Bastien goes without saying. Tobias will agree as soon as I get a moment to speak with him. He’s been making calls, attempting to get information on how to best proceed against Wrenhaven. Jax . . .” He cleared his throat. “I haven’t hada moment alone with him. If he wants to leave with her, then I will not fight him on it.”
I hugged myself, as if trying to hold my insides from spilling out. Jax would leave me. He would choose her. Nausea twisted my stomach. He’d been so protective recently. In a way I could have gotten used to. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. Every time we seemed to make headway with each other, we were ripped a hundred steps back, and there was no return this time. “Will you be patient, Pet?”
I bit the inside of my cheek.