Page 94 of The Lair

“I can’t bring myself to turn this into anything else. It doesn’t feel right,” he adds, his voice quieter than I’ve ever heard it.

“Travis…” I start, unsure of what I could even say to make his pain go away or if there is anything that could at all.

“I’m not telling you this because I want your pity,” he says, a little bit of his usual grumpiness seeping through his words.

“I know that. But I care about you, and I don’t like to see you hurting. You deserve to heal.”

His thumb caresses my hand. “I’m doing better now that I’m in therapy.”

I hate that my eyebrows rise in surprise. “You are?”

“For my PTSD, yes.”

Jada’s encouragement to give therapy a try echoes in my head again, but I push it away. “That’s amazing. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need.”

Even if there’s still a gaping hole inside my chest from just sitting in this empty room. One that was meant to belong to themost important little person in Travis’s life—a person he might never get to meet now.

No, don’t cry. This isn’t about me.

“What I mean to tell you is that I know you’re hiding something,” he says, stopping my heart with just a few words. “It’s not my business, but I wanted to say that living an inauthentic life isn’t fucking worth it. Not a single second, okay? If I had gone to therapy sooner, if I hadn’t lied to myself for so damn long, saying that I was fine, maybe this room wouldn’t be empty today.”

I don’t think I’m breathing anymore.

“I’m just gonna ask you one question, and you’re gonna give me an honest answer,” he says, sounding so serious that I can only nod. “Do I need to take care of anybody?”

My throat is dry. “What do you mean?”

“Is someone putting you in danger? Are you running away from people who want to hurt you?”

I shake my head, hoping he can hear the truth in my words. “It’s not like that. I’m not in danger.”

At least, I don’t think I am. Sure, my apartment almost got broken into, and there was that weird thing with my car window, but nothing has happened since. I feel safe now, sheltered under Travis’s roof.

He stares at me for so long, he seems frozen in place, but then he says, “You can tell me anything, Allie. I’ll always be on your side, no matter what.”

My lips part. The air shifts around us again, replacing the tension with a different kind of heaviness—one I’d read about before, seen in movies, but had never experienced. Never thought I would.

My hand on Travis’s cheek stills. I hold my breath as he slowly turns his head until his lips press against the cold skin of my hand.

“I’m sorry I’ve been harsh with you,” he murmurs against my skin. “I’m still learning how to let people in, but I’m not sure I’m doing a good job.”

“You are. Thank you for opening up to me,” I tell him. “You’re my favorite person, Travis.”

“And you are my weakness, Allie.”

My body sizzles with anticipation as Travis presses another kiss to the back of my hand. So gently, so at odds with the facade he shows to the world.

“Travis…”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

Tell him. Tell him now.

My eyes drop to his mouth, unable to look away because we’ve never been this close before, and I want to… I want to?—

The dogs start barking outside, making me jump. Travis curses under his breath, the moment shattering as he stands to look out of the window.

“What is it?” I ask, both alarmed and breathless.We were about to kiss.

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