Page 139 of The Lair

A beat of silence passes. Johnny hesitates. “My friends nearly broke into your apartment,” he confesses, turning my blood cold. I’ve suspected he was involved for a long time, but hearing him admit it is an entirely different thing. “I wasn’t with them, but I still regret it every day. Our parents asked me to do it, but I could’ve said no. I was blinded by my hatred for you—unfounded, unfair hatred—and I’m so sorry.”

I’ve always hated when people say, “You have to be the bigger person.” Because what if I want to be the smallest person in the room? What if I don’t feel like suppressing my feelings for the sake of someone else’s comfort?

But then I started therapy, and Dr. Rowland explained that it’s not always about the other person. Would forgiving bringmepeace? Or would it makemefeel like crap? There’s nothing wrong with putting ourselves first. If we don’t, who will?

“Thank you for being honest with me,” I start, thinking my words through. “When your friends almost broke into my apartment… it took me back to the kidnapping. It scarred me for a while.”

“I’m so sorry,” Johnny repeats.

“I had an inkling you were involved, but I still couldn’t… can’thate you. Maybe I should.”

“I’d understand if you did.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Allie—”

“Maybe this makes me extremely dumb,” I continue, ignoring him. “Maybe Travis won’t understand, or my friends, but this ismylife,mychoices, and I choose to give our relationship a second chance. I want to take it slow, just like I’m doing with everything else now, but I don’t want us to be strangers. We went through something horrific together, felt forced to do things we then hated ourselves for, and I don’t know about you, Johnny, but I’m tired.”

His shoulders sag with relief. “I’m tired too.”

“Me too,” Cindy mutters.

I slide my gaze toward her and give her a genuine smile. “What do you say we start over, Cindy? Would you like that?”

With her eyes holding mine, she nods. “I’d like that.”

“We’re still living in California,” Johnny tells me. “Not in Los Angeles, but in Santa Barbara. We’re leaving tomorrow, but we’d like to see you if you ever come back to California.”

A gigantic weight lifts off my shoulders at his words. “I will stop by Santa Barbara to see you,” I promise them. “And if you ever need anything at all, you can call Jada. I’ll give you her number. Remember her, from my school?”

“Yeah. Are you sure she wouldn’t mind?”

“She was there for me when I couldn’t rely on any other adults. She’ll be there for you just the same,” I tell him, knowing it’s the truth. Jada is an angel, and she would never leave my siblings stranded. To her, they’re victims of my parents’ neglect as much as I am.

“If you change your mind about this—” Johnny starts again, but I don’t let him finish.

“Circumstances forced you to break into my apartment to get a copy of the video. I was forced to lie to the people I loved. It’s not quite the same, I know, but Johnny, we both became people we aren’t proud of because our parents forced us to, in a way. And I’m willing to give us a second chance if you promise to take it seriously. No more shenanigans.”

“No more shenanigans,” he echoes. “I promise, Allie. I want to start anew. Cindy deserves as much.”

She hugs him a little tighter, and I’d be lying if I said their bond doesn’t spark a hint of jealousy in me. Of longing.I could’ve had that too.

Slowly. We’ll get there.

“Everything okay?” a new voice asks to my left. A voice I know too well.

I’m not imagining Johnny’s wince as he glances up at Travis, who’s towering over all of us. And I know he remembers him from last year, if only because a man as imposing as my boyfriend is nearly impossible to forget.

“Everything’s fine,” I tell him, breaking the tension. “Travis, this is my brother, Johnny, and my sister, Cindy. And this is my boyfriend and boss, Travis.”

Travis glares at Johnny for a beat too long until he slides his gaze to Cindy. The shift in his eyes from hard to soft is so drastic, I could laugh.

“Hey, there,” he starts, addressing my sister in an easy voice. “Do you need anything? A glass of water?”

She nods timidly. “Thanks.”

He smiles. “I’ll be right back.”

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