“Hey, there,” Paul greets me, trying to sound casual.
I give him a tight-lipped smile. “Hi.”
“Was your shower okay?” Jada asks, her demeanor more sober than just a moment ago.
I nod, sitting down at the kitchen table. “I…”
The second I open my mouth, my eyes betray me and start to sting. My lips follow suit and start quivering with the silent words I can’t voice because my throat closes up.
“Oh, honey,” Jada mutters. A moment later, she’s kneeling in front of me, her manicured fingers gripping my hands tightly. “Let it all out, Allie. You’re okay.”
I shake my head because no, I’m not okay. I’ve never been, and I only have myself to blame.
“You’ve been through a lot,” Paul says before his heavy hand lands on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We’re really proud of you, Allie. Really proud.”
For some reason, that makes me cry harder. It’s not that I don’t think I’m strong. Iam, for the most part, and nobody can take that away from me. But what’s strength without integrity?
I lied for six years, and it cost me everything. My happiness, my peace, my new life.
It cost me Travis.
Because this is the truth—even if I was brave enough to talk to him again, and even if he was understanding enough to forgive me, I can’t forgive myself.
Travis, with a heart so big, it can’t possibly fit inside his chest. He’s always taken care of me, and he deserves to be with someone who shows the same respect to him. By lying to his face for more than a year, I’ve betrayed our trust without him even knowing, and I can’t move past that.
And so the tears keep falling. Not so much for what’s waiting for me once the interview airs tomorrow—as much as it makes me anxious, I don’t regret speaking out—but for the life I lost, the one I’ll never be able to rebuild.
After what feels like hours of bawling my eyes out in Jada and Paul’s kitchen but is probably just minutes, I finally find my voice and tell them everything—how my parents found mein Bannport, how they threatened me to sign an NDA or they’d reveal my new identity, why I talked to George Eden and didn’t tell them until now.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to us or to anybody,” Jada assures me, still holding my trembling hands in her warm ones. “It’syourlife. It happened toyou. If your parents didn’t want the world to know, they shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”
I let out an uneven breath. “Everything will go to hell tomorrow.”
“Then let it happen,” says Paul, who’s taken a seat next to me. “Nobody in their right mind would question what you did or blame you for your choices, Allie. Not when you showed the video.”
“My parents will sue me,” I whisper.
“Again, let them. They won’t win.” Paul sounds so convinced, I want to believe him. More than anything.
“If they do, you won’t be alone,” Jada says. “We’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll help you find an attorney, and anything else you need. You’re not alone, Allie. Never.”
Travis said the same thing when he showed up after the almost break-in.
I’m here, and you’re safe. You’re not alone anymore.
I made the mistake of relying on him, of taking too much when I deserved nothing. And now…
“Is there anything else you’re worried about?” Jada asks as if she could read my mind. By the way her inquisitive gaze bores into mine, I’m starting to suspect she can.
“There’s…” I start but stop when I feel a rush of heat crawling up my neck.
Why does this feel more difficult than talking about my parents on national TV?
Maybe because Jada and I have never talked about love or relationships; my life was too much of a clusterfuck for there tobe space for anything else. Plus, it’s not like I’ve had boyfriends in the past. A crush here and there that never went anywhere, sure, but nothing as strong or real as what I feel for Travis.
I have no idea how to tackle this conversation in a way that isn’t awkward, so I just blurt it out.
“I hate the way I left things at The Lair. I stormed out of the bar because I was embarrassed after confronting my parents. I hate that I’ve disappointed my co-workers—who have become my close friends—and I can’t bear the thought of them hating me for lying to them. But I regret hurting my boss the most. Travis. He’s the man I’d been living with the past few weeks. Because I think I’m in love with him, and I think he feels something for me, too, but I’ve ruined everything.”