Page 58 of Bad at Love

I don’t understand this guy. He’s so… strange. I think I’ve got him figured out, and then bam! I don’t. I swear I knew exactly who he was when I moved in, and then his parents pissed him off and now… now I have no idea who the hell he is.

“If this doesn’t work out, we’re going to have to try something else.”

“Fine by me.”

“Something else as in you’re sucking my dick.”

He freezes, his body going stiff. His eyes slowly look up to mine. He gives me a little smirk that nearly knocks me on my feet, but it’s his words that have me breathless.

“I planned on doing that anyway.”

Who the hell are you, and what did you do with Gabriel?

Chapter Twenty-Three

Gabriel

I keep wondering when this is going to pass. This bravery and lack of self-control. It’s strange behavior coming from me. Not for the first time, I’m wondering if I’ve developed bipolar disorder. Or maybe I’ve had it for years and never knew. Where I’m at right now, it’s definitely an up for me. I can’t say I’ve ever felt depressed before, but maybe I had and didn’t know any better? I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. Except I am wondering if I was a little too confident when I told Storm I’d planned on sucking him off.

I’m getting all in my head about it, which is what I was trying to avoid. I told him I can’t think about it too much or it’ll ruin it. It’s true, because it’s what’s happening now. He’s in the shower, washing up, and when he gets out, I plan on going for it. Just… doing it. Only now I’m wondering if that’s a great idea. Thoughhe showered, how well did he clean? Will he use the bathroom after he washed? I’m going to put him in my mouth, get my saliva all over him, then lick it off? Licking up my own saliva… that doesn’t sound great. And what about the cum? There’s so much of it. It’s sticky and makes a wicked mess. I’ve witnessed it myself. There’s no way I’m going to swallow all of that, so what do I do with it? Where will it go?

“Are you okay?”

I jump, putting my hand on my chest.

“No, I don’t think so,” I answer honestly, because that’s what I said I would do. Communicating isn’t easy for me, mostly because I’ve always been judged for what comes out of my mouth when I’m honest. Even Marta judges me sometimes, but it’s not malicious, which makes it easier to handle. Though there are things I still haven’t told her in fear of her reaction.

I feel that way with Storm now. At first, I was open and honest about some things, but held back a lot, not wanting to be judged and have him hate me. I don’t want to live with someone who hates me. But now that we’ve somehow gone into this territory, experimenting sexually with one another, I know the only way things will work out is if I am brutally honest with him. The thought hurts. It physically hurts my chest. But I have to do my best or I’m going to end up worse. I like this too much to end it. I’ll suffer through the pain because it will eventually go away. This will get easier.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, sitting on the edge of his bed and patting beside him for me to sit too.

I don’t, but I do explain.

“You took too long in the shower and now I’m overthinking this whole thing.”

“We don’t have to do this, Gabriel. My hand works just fine.” He holds it up to show me.

“Yes, but I wanted to do this. It’s only fair.”

“Fair? That’s a weird way to put it. You can’t want to do it because it’s fair.”

“Why else would I do it?”

He raises a brow, giving me a look like it was a stupid question.

“Because you want to get me off? Because you like making me feel good?”

Oh. Yeah, that makes sense, doesn’t it?

“I guess… I guess I don’t know if I like that because I’ve never done it before.”

He nods, then smirks at me and gets to his feet, dropping his towel. My gaze goes right between his legs, to his semi-hard dick. I’ve seen it enough times now to not be terrified, but this is new and I’m not sure that thing could ever go in my mouth. Even if I am curious about what it would feel like and taste like.

“We’re going to test something,” he says, getting back on the bed and lying on his back.

“What?” I ask.

“I’m going to get myself off. You’re going to watch. If you like what you see, if you decide thatyouwant to be the one to make me feel like this? You can blow me tomorrow.”

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