Page 40 of Bad at Love

“Get in your car and drive,” she says.

“You know what I mean,” I grit out.

“How did he react to it?” she asks me.

“What?” I sneak a glance at her.

“His reaction. Was he angry? Surprised? Is he having a panic attack, too?”

How did he react? I think back, trying to recall what happened. I was in a panic over dinner going wrong at my parents’ house. Storm was there, consoling me. He was so close, so freaking close, looking at me like he cared and wanted to help. He smelled so good, and for just a split second, I wanted to feel something other than loneliness.

“He was… shocked.”

“But not angry? Disgusted?”

“No, neither of those.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is he’s my roommate, we have to live together, and I kissed him. He’s a man, and I just made things weird.” I get up and start pacing again. “As if I don’t do that enough already.”

“How do you know he didn’t like it?”

I stop and glare at her. “Why would he like it?” I hiss.

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“I hate when you do that,” I say, pointing at her and shaking my head. “Turning my questions back on me isn’t going to make me realize anything, Marta. It only annoys me.”

She leans back on the couch, crossing her legs. It’s now I realize she’s in her pajamas. It’s dark outside. Her kids are in bed. I groan.

“I’m sorry I came here. It’s late.” I move toward the door.

“Don’t you dare walk out that front door, Gabriel Dane.”

I pause, turning back to face her. She’s using her serious voice, the one I know better than to ignore.

“Get back in here. We’re talking about this.”

Begrudgingly, I do as she says, dropping onto the couch. I grab the water bottle and take another sip.

“Why do you think he wouldn’t like you?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant.”

I sigh heavily, and mutter, “Because I’m me.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

I scoff. “Where do I begin?”

“Gabriel,” she says, taking my hand and sandwiching it between hers. “We’ve been friends a long time. I have dealt with a lot from you, but I am still here. There is nothing wrong with you, no matter how much your parents make it seem like there is—no matter how much society makes it seem like there is. You are perfectly successful and a functioning human. Just because you don’t live up to their standards or live your life the way other people do doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.”

My issues run much deeper than that. Sure, she hit the nail on the head with a lot of what she just said, but there’s so much more to it than that.

“Other than the fact I’m a neat-freak, germaphobe, have some serious OCD issues, anxiety—”