Page 90 of Reckless Hearts

When you grow up with no father and a mother who never wanted to be a mother in the first place, you’re constantly seeking the approval of others, the love of others who just take and never give. I found myself in that cycle for years, begging for someone to just understand that I needed more.

Mitch and Nate were the first people in my life to take me in without conditions, but neither of them knew what the hell to dowith a girl who basically grew up without a mother. Hell, neither of them knew what to do with a girl other than surf.

And so that’s what we did.

Surf.

I cooked dinners and washed laundry and cleaned the houses, but not because it was expected of me, and never because Nate or Mitch asked. It was because I was trying so hard not to lose them. They were all I had, and when everyone in your life leaves, you cling to the ones who feel like home.

I put so much care into keeping them that I neglected myself, and looking back, it was unnecessary. Mitch and Nate understood my situation and welcomed me with open arms in the best way they could. As surly and brooding as Nate was and still is, we’re family.

But that love is different.

“Alana?” Flynn says, a question in his word, my name a slight hesitation on his tongue.

I’ve been quiet too long, and if he’s learned anything about me over this last month or so, it’s that I’m rarely quiet.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I finally get out, and he laughs a little, but it’s nervous, and rightfully so. He just told me he loves me, and I’ve said nothing. “You’ve rendered me speechless, Flynn Roberts and that’s almost impossible to do.”

“Oh, trust me, I know,” he now says, his arms hanging loosely around my waist, and he must have the patience of a saint because he’s still waiting.

“Trust me, I’m going to say it back, but before that, I have something I need to tell you, something that is important to me to get out. I want you to know how much this moment means to me,” I start, letting out a slow exhale. As much as I don’t want to cry, I know I’m going to. “I’ve been waiting all my life for someone to put me first, for someone to see everything I have to offer and fall in love with me unconditionally. You are that.I can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you quit your job because of me. It sounds a little reckless and self-absorbed, and maybe even a little toxic.” I stop, laughing, my cheeks beginning to ache with all the smiling. “But to me, it shows the full extent of your feelings for me, and that is huge.”

“With Jade in my life, you would have never come first,” he says, his hands cupping my face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that have begun to fall. “I couldn’t live with that. I would and will pick you every fucking time, Alana.”

And there it is, my name on his lips, said with such love and conviction that my heart feels like it’s about to burst.

“I love you so much,” I say, the words coming out in a rush, but knowing they’ve been on my mind, it feels good to have them out. It feels amazing to know he feels the same way.

I pull him close, his lips practically touching mine, and with a warm whisper, he tells me, “I will spend the rest of my life showing you that you’re worth staying for, that you deserve to be loved beyond measure. You’re it for me, beautiful.”

Shit, he really knows how to make a girl sob like a baby. The only thing that could make this moment better is if we were on our surfboards out on the water, but even in my mind, that feels cliché, and I can’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just my ridiculous thoughts and how this would be even better if we were surfing.”

“Then let’s do it.”

The week passes so quickly with Flynn training with me in the lead-up to Maui Pipe, and now that it’s here, I’m so fucking nervous.

It’s not like I haven’t competed before, but this is different. The scale is so much bigger, and there’s so much more riding on it, too. This could mean sponsorships and tour offers if I do well. And there are also all the locals who have supported me. I don’t want to let anyone down, especially Mitch.

Even though he isn’t here with me anymore, all his efforts to get me to this place don’t go unnoticed, and with Sage here now, it’s like having him with me. I’m doing this for him because when no one else believed in me, he did.

I’m not expecting to win or anything. That would be insane and probably a little too early-2000s rom-com if it played out so perfectly with me placing first in my first-ever professional comp. Not that I haven’t thought about it, though.

I pick up the letter from Mitch, smiling as I put it into my backpack. This letter changed my life. Mitch changed my life all those years ago, and he’s the reason I’m where I am today. Not just with surfing but with Flynn too.

Without his letter, I never would have gone back to Flynn after he told me who he was. We wouldn’t have been caught by Jade and reported to the ISA and then investigated. All of that led to Flynn quitting a job he hated.

And now, here we are, getting ready for Maui Pipe. Flynn’s been by my side, coaching me, and I know Mitch would have lost his mind meeting Flynn, and I love to think about that.

I never would have expected something so great to come out of our situation, but leaving Jade has been the best thing for his career.

He’s done multiple interviews since and has even had offers to return to surfing, but he’s been funny about it all. Telling me that this week is for me, and he refuses to take the spotlight away by accepting an offer to surf again until Pipe is over.

“You’re going to do it, right?” I ask him as he stops in my doorway, waiting for me to get my things together so we can leave.

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