“They’ll kill me.”

“We can protect you. We can protect the whole family.”

He calms himself, then stands up to shake it off. This man is not accustomed to showing emotion, and I almost feel sorry for him.

“Just think about it, okay?”

He looks out over the creek and nods curtly.

On the street, Jefferson rumbles up in the Charger and leaves it running while he walks up to fetch me.

“Ready to go?” he asks.

Well, this is awkward. “Um. Jefferson? This is my dad. Dad? This is my husband, Jefferson.”

That’s it. I’ve done my part. Now, it’s up to them to decide if they’ll ever have anything resembling a father/son relationship. My father bears the largest portion of that burden.

My dad turns and puts out his hand.

Jefferson stares at it, and the two of them shake.

No one throws a punch, so I’ll call it a win.

Jefferson opens my door with a blanket folded in half and draped over one arm.

He offers his hand. I take it and step out of the car.

The sun hits my eyes, and the sky is so big. The breath whooshes from my lungs like someone is pressing down on them like a bellows.

And then I get right back in the car.

The gazebo in cute little downtown Darling Creek was one thing.

I hadn’t thought about being in the wilderness. Wide open. Under the big sky. I never thought about how it might affect me. Under lock and key, I’d wanted nothing more than to go outside and breathe in the mountain air. Now, I feel like I’m in free fall.

The vastness makes me want to run and hide.

As I look out at a grassy hillside, the sky is so big that I feel like the clouds could swallow me up.

“I don’t want to go out there.”

Jefferson pauses, not letting go of my hand.

“What’s wrong, Georgie?”

“I don’t want to go outside.”

“Tell me why not.”

His tone is even. No hint of shock or annoyance.

“I don’t know.”

He moves to let go of my hand, but I grip it tighter. “Don’t go without me.”

“Georgie. I’m not leaving. I’m getting back into the car to sit with you.”

I nod and try to breathe as my hand slips from his. I avoid looking at the grass, sky, water, and hills. I simply watch him move from my side of the car to his side.