Page 16 of Twisted Fate

I went to the bottom of the stairs and waited for her to emerge. She appeared, dark strands of hair sticking up in every direction, rubbing her eyes. I wasn’t sure what Vance was doing to the poor kid’s hair at night, but I’d have to give him a little lesson in hair care for girls. I giggled at her disheveled appearance, and the sound brought her attention to me.

“Dewiwah,” she sang, grabbing the banister and hopping onto the top step. She made her way down to me, and I scooped her up before she could reach the bottom. “I missed you,” she crooned.

I melted as I squeezed her tight, smoothing my hand over her unruly tresses. “I missed you too.” She had no idea how much.

We went to the kitchen and just like we did every morning, she helped me make breakfast. It had become our routine and something I looked forward to every day. After breakfast, I got Charlie cleaned up, helped her brush her teeth and get dressed. Once she was ready, we began our lessons for the day.

At lunchtime, I selected the first name from the list Vance had given me and sent a message explaining who I was and why I was texting them. The response was almost immediate. A few messages were exchanged, and Charlie and I had a playdate set up for Friday.

I moved to the next name on the list and within minutes had another meet up scheduled for next week. Sure, these would cut into Charlie’s classroom time, but socializing with her peers was equally important. She would have to go to school eventually, and these experiences would help her build friendships with her future classmates.

* * *

“We made a homemade pizza,”I informed Vance when he arrived home later that evening. “It needs to come out in about ten minutes, but the timer is set,” I said as I prepared to leave. I’d let Charlie help me roll out the dough, spread the sauce on it, and sprinkle on the toppings. She’d had a blast doing it, and we only ended up making a small mess in the process, a feat in itself.

Vance hesitated a moment, seeming to weigh his next words. Finally settling on something, he opened his mouth and what came out stunned me into momentary silence.

“Do you want to stay and have dinner with us?” When I failed to respond, he began squirming with nervousness, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You’ve got a long drive home. I don’t want you to leave here hungry.” I didn’t point out that there were no less than a dozen places to stop for food between here and home. It seemed he was attempting to bridge a gap, one that we’d kept at a professional arm’s length despite being family by marriage. Perhaps he was beginning to see me as more than just the nanny, and that could only help my case when my time with Charlie came to an end. I’d need that if I wanted to continue forming a relationship with her.

“Sure,” I agreed cheerily, and surprise flickered in his eyes.

“Great,” he said, “uh, let me get changed, and I’ll help you set the table.” He suddenly seemed nervous, like he wasn’t used to having a guest over for dinner. I supposed he wasn’t. I was sure he and Sarah hosted friends and family from time to time, but since she’d been gone, he’d been solely focused on work and Charlie. Not that I could blame him after everything he’d been through, but this felt like a step in the right direction. Tonight, it was me staying over for dinner. Next, it might be an old friend.

He exited the kitchen, and a moment later, his footsteps sounded from just above. Momentarily, I envisioned him undressing. I swallowed hard as I imagined him unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his broad shoulders. He’d unbutton his pants and let them fall to the floor, revealing strong, muscular thighs. Would he dress in the same thing he wore the other night, the casual attire that had inexplicably made me hot?

I swallowed hard and fanned my rapidly heating face as I forced those thoughts from my mind. I promised myself I wouldn’t think about him like that. That was easier said than done when he came downstairs in faded, ripped blue jeans, a heather gray V-neck tee, five o’clock shadow, and those glasses I hadn’t seen in a while. He had that whole hot nerd thing going for him, and it worked. Boy did it work.

15

Vance

I rubbedmy tired eyes beneath my glasses as I entered the kitchen. The mouthwatering aroma was enough to perk me up, and I dropped my arm to my side, allowing the frames to fall back into place. Delilah was removing the pizza from the oven. She placed it on the stove and shut the door. I made to move past her to get to the plates, but she turned at the last second and bumped into my chest.

She let out an “oof” as I muttered “sorry,” and attempted to sidestep her. She went the same way, and we almost collided again. We practically danced around each other as we tried to avoid touching again. I finally realized what she was after and moved out of the way.

“My bad,” I declared, and she let out a huff of laughter. She went to the island and opened a drawer, pulling out the utensil she needed.

“Pizza cutter,” she explained, holding it up. She carefully sliced the pizza as I gathered plates from the cabinet. I placed them next to her and got each of us a drink.

“I’ll take those,” I offered once pizza was added to the plates. We sat at the table, Charlie perched between us, and ate in relative silence for several minutes.

“I have a playdate scheduled with Lara and her daughter, Hazel, for Friday,” Delilah said after a moment.

“Already?” She hadn’t wasted any time. I was glad she took the initiative and was on board with what I wanted for my daughter.

“Yep,” Delilah replied, a pleased grin forming over her lips. “And another for next week.”

“That’s great news.” I needed some good news after the call I got today. Charlie was scheduled to see a specialist for an evaluation next week. The lady doing the intake had lots of questions for me, so I spent much of my lunch break talking to her about Charlie’s struggles the last few months and how her behavior had changed. Oddly enough, I’d noticed an improvement since Delilah had been caring for her. I didn’t know if that was simply a coincidence since Charlie was in her own home, her comfort zone, or if it was a direct correlation from working with her mom.

I winced at that thought. Delilah wasn’t her mom, not in any sense that mattered.Sarahhad been her mom, the only one she’d ever known. Delilah was only here now because Sarah was gone. And I only had myself to blame for that.

My appetite withered at that thought, and I pushed my half-eaten dinner away. We’d had the argument that started the series of events that led to her death right here in this room. I could still see the way tears glimmered in her eyes. That was the last time I saw her alive, the last time she’d looked at me with those big doe eyes. And they’d been filled with sadness and pleading. The memory was like a punch in the gut.

I pushed away from the table muttering my excuses and escaped to the hallway bathroom. Leaning over the sink, I braced my hands on the porcelain and sucked in several deep breaths. I lifted my gaze, catching my reflection in the mirror, and forced myself to keep looking. I hadn’t been able to do that in over four months, but it was time to face the music. My face had thinned out noticeably, and there were dark circles rimming my eyes. My glasses did little to hide the fact that I looked exhausted. I looked like a man being haunted by a ghost. In a way I was. The ghost of my past and the mistakes I’d made. The ghost of my dead wife every time I looked at my daughter or her biological mother. They were a constant reminder of what I’d lost. And neither of them knew about my part in it.

Delilah was wiping down the table when I finally emerged. I crossed the room silently and stood next to the sink. Opening the dishwasher, I began to fill it. A shadow fell over me.

“Are you okay?” Delilah asked, returning the dishcloth to the sink.

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