Page 15 of Twisted Fate

I unlocked the front door and let myself in. The sound of muffled voices drifted out from the family room. My heart stuttered, and I drew to a halt when I walked in and found Delilah and Charlie. My little girl was curled up in Delilah’s lap, fast asleep with her head resting on Delilah’s chest. Delilah’s cheek was pressed against her hair as she watched the cartoon still playing on the TV. She noticed me standing in the door and sat up, her mouth opening to speak. I brought my finger to my lips to silence her. Understanding sparked in her gaze, and she glanced down at Charlie, realizing she was no longer awake.

“She must’ve just fallen asleep,” Delilah said as I approached the couch.

“I can take her so you can head home. I’m sure you’re ready to get out of here.” She’d been here for twelve hours already and had a long drive ahead of her.

I started to reach for Charlie, but stopped short when Delilah replied, “You might want to wait just a bit. She’ll probably wake up if you try to move her now.” She was right. If she hadn’t been asleep long, I would likely wake her if I tried to take her from Delilah and carry her upstairs.

Since I had a few minutes and Delilah didn’t seem to mind waiting a little longer to go home, I hopped in the shower. The hot water felt good on my tight muscles. Sitting at my desk for long hours at a time did a number on my back. When I got out, I ran the towel over my short hair and slipped on some sweats and a t-shirt. I padded barefoot down the stairs and returned to the family room. Delilah continued to cradle Charlie against her, and the sight had me swallowing hard.

Delilah’s gaze lifted to mine, and her eyes widened slightly as they scanned down my body. Even in the dim light, I could see the color rise to her cheeks. She glanced away as I approached. Had she been…

No. There was no way she was checking me out. It was all in my head. It had simply been far too long, and her resemblance to my late wife had me imagining things I shouldn’t be.

I leaned in, reaching for my daughter. Delilah’s citrusy scent filled my nose as I slid my arms under Charlie’s back. My fingers brushed against Delilah’s ribs, just beneath her breasts, and she sucked in a sharp breath. I froze for a moment, unsure whether I should apologize or just pretend it hadn’t happened. Pulling Charlie against my chest, I decided on the latter. Straightening, I immediately stepped back to put some space between us.

I hadn’t meant to touch her, but now that I had, my fingers wouldn’t stop tingling. The contact had been jarring; not necessarily unpleasant, but very much unsettling.

“I’ll see myself out,” Delilah announced as she stood from the couch. I stepped aside to let her walk out first. She scurried past me, tucking an errant strand of dark hair behind her ear, and I caught another whiff of her tropical scent. She smelled fresh like the ocean breeze with a hint of citron. It reminded me of my and Sarah’s honeymoon in Hawaii. Sadness washed over me at the memory. We’d planned to go back some day, but that would never happen now.

“Goodnight, Vance,” Delilah called from the doorway. I hugged my daughter closer, hoping to ease the pain that settled in my chest. My heart ached for what I’d lost and could never get back.

“Goodnight, Delilah.” I forced a reply past the tightness in my throat. As soon as the front door shut behind her, I turned the lock, careful not to disturb Charlie, and ascended the stairs. After tucking her in, I didn’t bother trying to go to bed. Sleep wouldn’t come easily tonight. It never did these days.

The next morning, I awoke from a restless slumber, my fists clutching the sheets next to me as sweat dotted my brow. I’d had the most vivid, realistic dream. Sarah and I had been back on that beach in Kauai, sipping fruity cocktails and exchanging kisses, the sun high over the Pacific Ocean warming our skin. It was newlywed bliss.

I dreamed of her dark hair cascading around me as she sat astride my hips, rubbing herself against my rapidly growing erection. She teased me for what seemed like an eternity, before finally sinking down onto my hardened length. Eyes closed and head tossed back, she took me all the way to the hilt. I grabbed her hips and held on as she rocked back and forth. But when her eyes popped open, they were all wrong. They weren’t the soft brown I’d been expecting, but a vibrant blue that matched the ocean beyond. That was when I woke up, confused, but still hard as a rock.

I tried to shake away the final image of my dream as I sat on the side of the bed and scrubbed my hands over my face. What the hell was that all about? Sure, Delilah was a beautiful woman. There was no denying that, but how had my mind conjured her in a dream about Sarah? It must’ve been their resemblance and the fact I’d seen Delilah last night, her perfume reminiscent of the beach. That was all it was.

No longer able to ignore my straining erection and in need of a quick release, I went to the shower. It had been more than four months since I’d felt a woman’s touch. Even though I was more efficient at getting the job done, it was still a poor substitute for what I really wanted: my wife.

I shut down my thoughts as the warm spray pelted my back. I couldn’t think of her in this moment. It hurt too much. And I didn’t want to feel the pain. For a moment, I wanted to be able to escape. So that was what I did.

14

Delilah

I couldn’t shakethe image of Vance in gray sweatpants and a fitted white t-shirt from my mind. For the first time in years, desire had stirred low in my belly. After Charlie was born and I managed to crawl out of the deep, dark hole I’d fallen into, I attempted to date again, but intimacy didn’t come easy. I tried a few times, but I could never relax enough to enjoy it, and it took far too much energy to block out the spotty memories of that night. It left me feeling drained, physically and emotionally, and I finally decided it wasn’t worth it.

But something sparked to life inside me last night. Vance’s fingers brushing the spot just below my breast stirred my long-suppressed libido. And when he showed up barefoot and casual, dressed like he was ready to crawl into bed, I had to look away to keep from ogling him. I told myself it was wrong to think of him that way. He was still grieving the loss of his wife. And me? Well, I was wallowing in guilt from keeping my cousin at a distance. I should’ve taken her up on the offer to stay in Charlie’s life, inherlife. I missed Sarah, and it was my fault I hadn’t seen her in the three years prior to her passing.

“Ms. Jones, I need to use the potty.” Little Amelia’s voice brought me back to the present, and my head snapped up. I was subbing at a local elementary school today, and the kids were gluing squares of paper with words next to their matching pictures. They’d been fairly quiet while focusing on this task, allowing my mind to wonder.

“Okay, sweetie. Go ahead.” I motioned to the door and rose to follow her. The restroom was just across the hall, but kids her age sometimes wondered when they got outside the classroom with little supervision, so I stood in the doorway until she reemerged. I loved working with kids this age, but I missed Charlie. I’d grown more attached to her than I could’ve ever imagined. I just hoped when my tenure as her nanny was over, I’d still get to see her.

The next day when I arrived at Vance’s house, he welcomed me with a curt nod and nothing more. Perhaps my reaction to him hadn’t gone as unnoticed as I’d thought. Shit. It was highly inappropriate to have those thoughts about him. I needed to squash those and do it fast. It would be much easier if he wasn’t so attractive. I averted my gaze to avoid checking him out as he strode to the kitchen to grab his travel mug full of coffee.

When he returned, he held a slip of paper in his hand. “Here are the names and numbers of some of the moms Sarah arranged playdates with. I’d like Charlie to get more interactions with kids her age, and she’s used to the ones from this list. I’ve contacted each of them already to see if they wanted to resume their playdates. If you're comfortable with it, that is.”

“Of course.” The prospect of getting Charlie out of the house and spending time with her peers sounded like a wonderful idea. “Anything you think would help her, I’m willing to try.”

“Thank you.” His gratitude was genuine and palpable. I could have sworn he almost smiled.Almost.

“I’ll try not to be so late tonight. It’s been hairy at work lately, but I should be able to wrap things up at a decent time.”

“It’s no problem. I really don’t mind.” I hoped he could sense my sincerity. I didn’t mind at all having to stay late. It meant I got to spend more time with Charlie.

He nodded his appreciation and without another word, he was gone. I looked over the list in my hand and decided I’d reach out to a couple of the moms later to set something up. Charlie would be awake soon, and I went to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. There was always plenty left in the pot after Vance filled up his travel mug. He left it for me knowing I’d need it. As I poured the hazelnut creamer into my mug, a loud thump sounded from above. Charlie was up.

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