Page 14 of Twisted Fate

She told me about how she struggled after having Harper, even with Macon by her side. She’d been an unwed teen mom whose ex-fiancé had skipped town and severed all contact with her. At Macon’s urging, she finally sought out a therapist and was able to work through everything.

Reaching into her purse, she’d pulled out a pen and piece of paper, scribbling on it before handing it to me. There was a name and number I didn't recognize written on it. “That’s the therapist I went to. She’s wonderful. You should give her a call.”

I held onto that paper for another month before I finally had the guts to dial the number. Once I did, I could already feel the weight of my burdens begin to lift. There were still times I struggled, but I was a long way from where I’d been in my darkest moments, and I had Brynlee to thank for that.

“Hello, earth to Delilah.” Shayla’s voice broke through the fog of my memories, and I looked up to see three sets of eyes watching me, expressions ranging from inquisitive to worrisome.

“S-sorry,” I stuttered. “I kind of zoned out there for a second.”

Shayla giggled and shook her head. “I was just asking if you planned to stay on until the kid goes to kindergarten.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that because I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I suspected once we got Charlie over this hump, Vance would want her in a traditional preschool setting to prepare her for school. If that was the case, I’d only be with her until the fall. An ache settled in my chest at the thought of our dwindling time together. Would Vance allow me to remain in her life after my time as her nanny was over? If he didn’t, how could I go back to my old life knowing this wonderful, smart, beautiful person who shared my DNA was out in the world?

I swallowed past the lump lodged in my throat before answering. “I’m not sure. My contract didn’t specify the length of my employment.” I shrugged as though it was of no consequence to me, but it most certainly was.

“How are the parents?” Haley asked. “Are they nice?”

“Well, um,” I began nervously, as I tried to decide how much to tell them. They hadn’t known the specifics of my new job, only that I was providing in-home care and instruction for a preschooler. “It’s just the father. The little girl’s mother passed away.”

“Oh, that’s awful,” Brynlee lamented, her face falling.

Haley’s inquisitive gaze landed on mine, her head tilting to the side. I held my breath as she studied me for a long moment, and I feared she’d put two and two together. They all knew I’d lost my cousin four months ago. If my friends looked much deeper, they’d likely figure out who I was working for. It probably seemed strange of me to keep that from them, but if they found out, the questions wouldn’t stop there. They’d want to know more about my cousin’s child. They’d ask how old she was and which parent she took after more and if I had any pictures of her. They’d ask why she looked so much like me, and wasn’t she the same age as the child I gave up? Then my carefully crafted secret would come crashing down around me.

Finally, her furrowed brow relaxed as whatever she was thinking drifted away, and I released a sigh. I couldn’t tell these girls the truth that Charlie was the child I’d given up, the child they believed was the result of a simple one-night stand. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to keep up the lies if they questioned me. I’d inevitably crack and if I had to tell the truth, that meant reliving that night. It meant facing the fact that a monster in disguise had fathered the sweet little girl that I’d grown to love. And it meant that someone might say something or try to get me to go to the authorities which meant that Chad would find out about Charlie’s existence. And that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn’t want that monster anywhere near her.

I took a huge gulp of my drink, trying to calm my racing thoughts. No one could know who Charlie’s father was. That was a secret I’d take to my grave.

* * *

When I returnedto work on Monday morning, the door swung open before I could even knock. Vance must have seen my car pull in and was waiting for me.

“I owe you an apology,” he said, glancing down at his feet once we were inside. “The way I acted Friday…” he began, shaking his head. “I haven’t exactly been myself lately.”

Guilt suffused me as I took in his pained expression. Of course, he hadn’t been himself lately. He’d just lost the love of his life a few months ago.

“I just—”

“It’s okay,” I assured him, holding up my hands. “You’ve been through a lot. There’s no need to explain.”

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes filled with skepticism. Finally, he blinked it away and nodded. “Thank you.” Without another word, he collected his things and left for work. It struck me then that the man never truly smiled. Even when he came home to his daughter, it was forced. I’d wager he hadn’t felt true joy since before Sarah died. His pain was palpable when he was inside this house and only relented when he left for work. It returned like a storm cloud hovering just above, threatening to pour out its sorrow at any moment. I was sure he held it together long enough to care for his daughter, but when he slipped into his empty bed, did the damn break? Was he grieving in private with no one there to put him back together when his heart shattered?

I brushed away the dampness that had gathered on my cheeks and headed for the stairs. Pain settled into my chest at the thought of Vance suffering in silence as I made my way to Charlie’s room. It was almost time for her to wake up so I laid out her clothes for the day and sank down on the edge of her bed. Brushing the dark curls from her forehead, I studied her cherubic face. Dark lashes fluttered open, revealing eyes that matched mine. They were hard to make out in the dimly lit room, but I knew vibrant blue stared back at me.

“Mommy?” she said, bringing the back of her hand up to rub her eyes. I sucked in a sharp breath at the sound of her sweet voice calling me by that name. For a second, I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t the first time she’d called me Mommy—she had erroneously addressed me as such at Sarah’s funeral—but this time was different. Now that I knew her, there was more feeling and meaning behind the word. Deep down, I wanted to hear it again, to earn that title and keep it for the rest of my days.

As she blinked up at me, her gaze focusing on my face, I swallowed thickly. I had to tell her who I was now that she was coming awake. I couldn’t let her think I was Sarah.

“It’s me. Delilah.” My voice cracked despite my effort to keep it even. I never imagined what it would be like to be called “Mommy,” but now I knew it was like hearing the angels sing.

“Dewiwah?” She sat up in her bed, still groggy and looked around her room. My stomach twisted knowing she was looking for her mom.

“It’s time to get dressed and have some breakfast. Would you like to help me make French toast today?” Distraction was the only tool I had in my arsenal at the moment, and if that was what I needed to use to help her through the day, then that was what I would do.

13

Vance

It wasnear dark when I arrived home that evening. I’d had the day from hell, and my clients hadn’t been much better. Thankfully Delilah had been willing to stay late so I hadn’t needed to call my mom to have her come out after being at the flower shop all day.

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