Page 25 of Desperation

“Devon,” she greeted me softly, and the sound of her nearly whispering my name made my pulse race and my chest squeeze. “I’m so glad you finally came for a visit. Drake and I have been anxious to see you since you got back.” She didn’t hate me anymore. That was good, but the way she’d said “Drake and I” caused a twinge of longing and regret to settle into my chest.

She stepped back, opening the door wide, and welcomed me in. “The baby’s sleeping,” she offered with an apologetic smile. “We’ll have to be quiet.” That wouldn’t be a problem. I’d had to operate silently out in the field, my movements stealthy and undetectable. I nodded and took a step forward. She sucked in a quick breath when I crossed over the threshold, and I followed her line of sight. She’d been watching my legs and noticed my limp. I straightened my spine as her eyes flashed to mine. “Devon,” she reached a hand out, her face twisted with sorrow.

“It’s fine,” I assured her and stepped out of her reach. It killed me to see the pity in her eyes, pity for me. It hurt even worse to avoid her touch when it was the only thing on this earth that I craved. “It’s healing very quickly. I’ll be back to normal in no time.” She gave me a wan smile and quietly shut the door behind me.

“I’ll let Drake know you’re here. You two can catch up.” She turned to leave, but I stopped her.

“Wait,” I commanded quietly. She faced me again, eyes weary. “The last time I was here,” I began, my hand going to the back of my neck in a nervous gesture.

“It’s okay,” she blurted out before I could continue. “What happened back then...” She swallowed hard. “You were just a kid. I overreacted. You weren’t the one who took her from me, and it wasn’t fair for me to treat you the way I did. I’m sorry.”

My anxiety morphed into surprise. I hadn’t been expecting an apology. She looked at me with pleading in those big, doe eyes. She longed for my forgiveness, but there was nothing to forgive. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I understood your reaction. And what I did was wrong, but I’ve never made that mistake again.”

“I know,” she whispered, stepping closer to me.

“I would have told you eventually,” I declared. “But I wanted you to get to know me first so you could judge the person I am now without any bias or assumptions.” Even now, I was drawn to her. She was different from when I first met her, yet still the same. The belly was gone, but she still wore a loose top, no doubt craving comfort after giving birth. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like she’d slept even less than I had, but there was still a vibrancy to her. She exuded goodness and light.

“That’s fair. I see that now.”

“Truce?” I offered my hand, hoping to solidify our mended friendship now that we’d cleared the air. I’d been tormented by the thought of her hating me the last few months. It was a relief to put it behind me.

“Truce,” she agreed, and we shook on it, wearing matching smiles. She let out a soft giggle and released my hand. “Have a seat, and I’ll get Drake.” She disappeared into the hallway, and a moment later my cousin emerged.

“Welcome back, King.” He pulled me in for a hug and slap on the back. “I heard you got your dick shot off. Is that true?” he joked, going in for the bag tag. He used to do that all the time when we were dumb pre-teens, but I got good at blocking his shots. Those instincts flared back to life, and I dodged the hit, resisting the urge to come back with my own.

“Nah, man, just had to have some metal dug out of my leg.”

“For real, though, I’m glad you made it out of there. We didn’t know for sure if you were deployed or if your team was involved.”

“Thanks, man.” I was touched that he’d worried about me. When I was here last, I started to suspect he’d be happy to be rid of me.

“The little man will probably wake up from his nap soon. You’ll get to meet him then.”

“What did you guys end up naming him?”

“Jameson Drake Wilder.”

“It’s a strong name. I like it.”

We sat and talked for a little while, waiting for the baby to wake up, and when he did, everyone knew it. He let out a wail that rivaled a bobcat’s scream. Hannah’s gentle, placating voice murmured soothingly to the disgruntled infant. He quieted as she brought him to the living room, gently rocking him as she approached us.

“Let’s go to Daddy.” She handed him over to Drake who beamed at him. My chest tightened. He and Hannah seemed so happy. They had a newborn son they clearly adored. Drake seemed calmer, less aggressive and dominant than before. I’d had my doubts about him changing, but perhaps Hannah had been right. Maybe fatherhood altered something inside him. If she could forgive him for the past, I surely had no right to hold it against him.

I vowed to leave this all behind and let them be happy. I wouldn’t try to convince her to leave or kiss her when we were alone. This was what she truly wanted. As long as he didn’t revert back to his old ways, I’d stay out of their lives and let them have their happily ever after.

Chapter Twenty

Hannah

Drake lifted Jameson in the air, and he let out a coo, the sweet sound tugging at my heartstrings. He couldn’t talk yet and wasn’t laughing, but those sweet little sounds he made were music to my ears.

“Do you want to hold him?” Drake stood and carried Jameson to the couch where Devon sat.

Devon hesitated, a look of fear crossing his features. I stifled a laugh. This man faced down terrorists and had recently been shot at, but he was afraid of my newborn son. His eyes flashed to mine as though he could read my thoughts, and maybe he could. He’d always been able to before. I gave him a reassuring nod, and his shoulders relaxed. He reached for the baby, and Drake handed him over.

“Make sure you support his head. That’s the main thing,” Drake instructed him. It was cute how he’d taken to fatherhood so easily and enthusiastically. So far, he was an exemplary father and partner. It felt weird to call him my boyfriend now that we had a child, but I wasn’t ready for anything more. I didn’t know if I ever would be.

“Hey, little guy,” Devon crooned, gazing upon Jameson’s face in wonder. He looked a little awkward, like he’d never held a baby before. He probably hadn’t. Mildred occasionally took in babies when I lived there, but she made us girls take care of them. We took turns getting up in the middle of the night for feedings and to change diapers, so I had at least a little experience with them before having my own. One would think that would have prepared me for this, but it hadn’t. It was different when you were the only one doing the work.

---