Page 14 of Desperation

The nerve of this guy.

I gritted my teeth and unfolded my arms, planting my hands on my hips defiantly.

“I don't really think that’s any of your concern.” Stunned, he recoiled slightly. I didn’t give him a chance to respond before dismissing him. It was bad enough Drake insisted on knowing where I was all the time. He even had his daddy’s help keeping tabs on me. I certainly wasn’t going to answer to another man. “Drake won’t be home until after five. You can come back then.”

I tried to shut the door, but he got in the way. “Wait,” he pleaded. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?” I challenged.

“I was worried.” When he didn’t elaborate, I stared at him, letting my annoyance show clearly in my unimpressed expression. He let out a frustrated breath and continued. “At first, I thought he was here since his truck is here. When I walked by, I brushed against the hood and noticed it was hot, and not just from the sun. When I saw that you were alone, I figured you must’ve gone out again. I know he doesn’t let you go anywhere, and I was worried for your safety.”

His admission was like a slap in the face and bucket of ice water being dumped on my head all in one. Chills spread over my arms, and I had to swallow back my emotions.

I know he doesn’t let you go anywhere, and I was worried for your safety.

It was too much. Too raw, too real.

Too … honest.

How long had I tried to hide from the truth? Devon had been in my life less than a week, and he was already seeing my life for what it was. He had just ripped the mask off this facade and exposed my reality.

“I had a doctor’s appointment this morning,” I whispered, defeat settling into my bones and weakening my legs. “And I needed groceries. I was allowed to drive his truck today,” I explained. Doctors’ appointments were those rare occasions I had Drake’s blessing to drive his precious half-ton pickup. The damn vehicle meant more to him than I did.

My knees buckled, and I swayed a little. Devon's arms reached out to steady me, and I let him lead me to the couch.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He sank down next to me and wrapped me in his arms. For a moment, I let him hold me. I basked in his warmth and strong embrace. I felt safe. I felt cherished. Those feelings were dangerous. They led to thoughts of escape, of letting another man into my life and into my heart. I had to push them away. I had to pushhimaway. So I did. Wriggling free of his grasp, I scooted to the opposite end of the couch and ran a shaky hand over my hair.

“Hannah, have you eaten anything today? You’re shaking and pale as a ghost.” I thought for a second then shook my head. I overslept this morning and didn’t have time for breakfast. “Come to the kitchen. I’ll make you some toast. I know it’s not much, but that’s about the extent of my culinary skills.” He gave me a crooked grin, and I smiled weakly.

“I need to get the groceries out of the truck before they go bad.” I made to stand up, but he held his hands out to stop me.

“I got it,” he said, and before I could protest, he was out the door. He came back a minute later with both arms weighed down with plastic bags. Setting them on the counter, he began to empty them one by one. I stumbled to the kitchen to put them away, but he refused to let me help. He instructed me to have a seat at the table and poured me a glass of orange juice, placing two slices of buttered toast in front of me a few minutes later. I sipped on the juice and ate my toast as he put away my groceries, directing him where everything went.

“Thank you.” My voice was low and small when he finally sat next to me.

“It’s no problem,” he assured me. “I’m happy to help.”

Help.

He was always offering to help me. Just the other night, he claimed he would help me with anything. I knew he wanted to, that he'd meant it, but I wasn’t sure if he was capable. I saw how he and Drake were with each other. They were family. They had history and blood on their side. I had nothing. There were no ties binding Devon and me. He had no reason to help me. Even though I may have needed his help, I couldn’t accept it. If he decided his loyalty to Drake was stronger than his need to do the right thing, I’d be worse off than I already was. And I had more than just myself to think about now.

I stood from the table and took my empty glass and plate to the sink. “I think I’m going to go lie down,” I mumbled, hoping he’d take the hint and leave. Before I could take another step, he was in front of me.

“Hannah,” he breathed, and my eyes closed at the soft sound of my name on his lips. His hand came up to my face and slid against my cheek until he was cupping it. My breath caught in my throat, and I let my eyes drift open. He took me in, his eyes scanning my face as though he was trying to see every detail all at once.

“Please,” I pleaded. If he didn’t let go of me, we would do something stupid, something reckless. I wanted him to kiss me. It was wrong and idiotic, but I couldn’t help the way I felt. He held my face tenderly, hovering above me, just out of reach. If he closed that gap and brought his mouth down on mine, there would be no turning back.

I turned away from him, and he let his hand drop. He groaned in frustration and took a step back from me, scrubbing his hand over his jaw. “Why do you stay?” His question surprised me, and I had to collect myself before I could answer.

“What choice do I have?”

“You could leave.”

“And go where? I’m broke, have no skills, and am about to have a baby.” He gritted his teeth as I continued. “Drake is all I have. There is no one else. No one,” I repeated. He didn’t get it. Everyone was gone or never wanted me in the first place. My dad hit the road shortly after I was born, realizing family life wasn’t for him. My grandparents— the ones I knew –passed when I was young. When the courts tracked down my biological father’s parents, only his mother remained, and she didn’t want me any more than he had. If it wasn’t for Drake, I didn’t know where I would’ve ended up. On the streets, most likely. He wasn’t perfect, but at least I was fed and clothed and had a roof over my head.

“You can’t stay with him. He’ll hurt you again.”

“You don’t know that.”

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