Page 6 of Anything For This Love

“Thank you.” I blush and look away, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I thought I’d grown used to his compliments by now, but the way he’s looking at me has my blood pumping.

“Ready?”

“I just need to grab my boots.” I retrieve my black boots from their spot by the door and step into them, zipping them up before straightening.

Jacob holds out his arm and I slip my hand through it. He walks me to his car and opens the passenger door for me. Once inside, he turns on the heat to ward off the cold. Fall in Virginia is beautiful but a little chilly. I hold my fingers up to the vents to warm them as Jacob searches through the radio for the right station, stopping on the one he knows is my favorite. His hand finds mine as he drives across the bridge to D.C.

“Like this song, huh?” he asks, stealing glances my way. I notice then that I’m bobbing my head to the beat, an unconscious reaction to the music.

“It really doesn’t get any better than ‘California Love,” I claim, dancing in my seat as 2Pac’s voice comes over the speakers.

“I’d have to agree,” he replies with a chuckle.

Now if I can just win him over to country music.

Jacob pulls into a busy shopping center where swanky boutiques and posh restaurants line the walkways. We step out of the car and he grips my hand, bringing it to his mouth to press his lips to my knuckles. Bathed in the orange light of the setting autumn sun, his eyes look nearly iridescent as he lovingly gazes down at me. I stretch up on my toes, closing in for a kiss.

“What do you want to look at first?” he asks, entwining his fingers with mine.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” I answer honestly. I’m overwhelmed by the sights and smells, the crisp autumn air mixed with candles from the shop across the street and the perfumier directly to our right.

“There’s a kid’s clothing store nearby,” he offers.

I love that he’s thinking of Chloe even though she’s not with us. “Let’s start there,” I reply, smiling up at him.

He grabs my hand and laces his fingers through mine as we casually stroll along the sidewalk. Leaves of all shades from fiery red to muted gold add a splash of color to the otherwise plain landscape of stone buildings and concrete sidewalks. We pass storefronts boasting all kinds of wares from fine leather and crystal, to evening wear and athletic shoes. An all-glass storefront with beautiful, shiny jewelry catches my eye as we pass by and I stop out of curiosity. Peering into the window, I spot a row of diamond rings and a tiny string of longing tugs on my heart.

What would I say if Jacob dropped to one knee and presented me with a ring like one of those in the glass case in front of me? Would I say yes? Am I ready for that?

Sure, I’ve known him over two years, but cumulatively, we’ve spent less than two months together. We’ve only recently reconnected, and even though we have a child together, we’re nowhere close to being ready for that level of commitment.

Are we?

Turning away, I nearly run right into Jacob. He watches me with a slight tilt to his head, his eyes studying me. Can he tell what I was looking at? There was plenty of other jewelry in there besides the rings. It’s entirely possible I was looking at something else.

“Do you want to go in there?” he asks carefully.

“Oh, uh,” I begin, stuttering in surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me that. “No, I, um, was thinking of getting my grandmother a necklace for Christmas, but those are a bit outside my budget.” I cringe at the lie and how utterly terrible I am at telling one.

“Oh,” he replies, a hint of disappointment dampening his tone.Or maybe I’m imagining that.“The children’s store is right up here.”

We enter the store and are immediately assaulted with an array of bright colors and upbeat music. Locating the toddler section, Jacob and I browse through the racks. I balk at the numbers on the price tags. They’re not outrageous, but definitely more than I typically spend. I place the pretty little Christmas dress I’d been admiring back on the rack and begin to step away.

“Do they have that in Chloe’s size?” Jacob asks.

My gaze shoots to him.Busted.

“Umm, I’m not sure which size she’ll need. She’s growing so fast, and Christmas is still two months away.”

“Get the size you think she’ll be by then and if it doesn’t fit, I can bring it back.”

“It’s a little pricey,” I finally admit.

A knowing look settles over his features. He knew why I really put it back. He just wanted me to admit it.

“That’s okay. I’ll get it. I want to be a part of this. This is what parenting is all about, right? Providing for my child, whether it’s clothing or daycare or whatever else she needs. Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for anything for her,” he says, stepping up to me. “Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for anything, period.” He reaches up and brushes his thumb across my cheek before gently kissing my forehead.

Guilt washes over me. I haven’t given him much opportunity to be a parent and help with fulfilling our child’s needs. I just got so used to doing it myself, but it’s time to relinquish some of those responsibilities.

---