“Do you mind if I do this part?” he asks almost sheepishly. His eyes shine with hope and longing, and it hits me that this will be his first Christmas with Chloe. I’ve had all the memories with her up until now. I think it’s only fitting that he gets a chance to make some of his own.
“Not at all.” I hand Chloe to him and he squeezes her tightly before asking if she’s ready. She nods her head, dark curls bouncing with the movement. I pull my phone from my pocket and press record on my camera as he lifts her into the air. This is a momentous occasion that I want to be able to relive again and again. I want Jacob to have the chance to see it from my point of view, to see himself in a way only I get to see him.
“Mama, I did it!” Chloe claps her hands together, her face lighting up with joy.
Jacob steps up to me and hooks his arm around my waist, pulling me in close.“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For letting me have that moment.” Words catch in my throat as I gaze into his sparkling blue eyes that shine with admiration and appreciation. “I love you.” He presses his lips softly against mine, his hand fisting the shirt at the small of my back. I grip his bicep, his muscles flexing beneath my hand. My breath catches when he runs his tongue along the seam of my lips, and I yearn to deepen the kiss.
“Me tiss!” Chloe demands. Jacob laughs against my mouth and pulls away, planting a kiss on her cheek with a loud, dramatic smack of his lips. She giggles and squirms in his arms until he places her back on her feet. She runs to the red plastic container that holds our light strands and pops off the lid.
“Guess she’s ready to trim the tree,” Jacob chuckles.
We spend the rest of the evening decorating the tree, allowing Chloe to help and occasionally going behind her to space out the ornaments she supplies. She’s yawning and rubbing her eyes by the time we place the last ornament and plug in the lights. Her little body practically vibrates with excitement as she bounces on her heels. Her joy is palpable.
“Wonderful!” my grandmother applauds, rising from her chair. Normally she helps, but this time, she let Jacob take her place. Her assent feels symbolic since she’s always been my protector and now appears to be relinquishing that role to Jacob.
With the tree adorned with colorful lights and a rag tag mix of ornaments collected or created over the years, Jacob and I put our sleepy little girl to bed and kiss her goodnight. My grandmother retires shortly after, leaving Jacob and me alone in the living room. We plop down on the couch to catch the end of a movie we had playing in the background. Jacob’s arm comes around my shoulders and I snuggle into his side, curling my feet up beneath me.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” I sigh, wrapping my arms around him in a tight embrace.
“Me too.” His grip tightens on me and his hand rubs up and down my arm.
“Are you doing okay? I know this is the first Thanksgiving you’ve spent away from your family.” He lets out a soft sigh and his shoulders slump. I immediately want to take it back. My intention wasn’t to make him sad, but to let him know he could talk to me.
“I’ll be alright. It’s not the holiday I’m used to, but I wouldn’t trade being here with you and Chloe for anything.” His sincerity steals my breath and sends butterflies fluttering through my chest. He’s giving up a lot for us, and I suspect we’ll both have to make more sacrifices if we want this to last. I push those worries to the back of my mind, unwilling to let them ruin the moment.
His eyes find mine before dropping to my mouth. My tongue darts out to wet my lips and his gaze darkens. His mouth descends on mine and he reaches for me, tangling his fingers in my hair. Jacob kisses me, claiming my lips as his, demanding my submission. And I give it to him. I let him lead, taking everything he has to offer.
“Fuck, Abby, I want you.” A little whimper escapes me, replaced by a soft moan when his lips skim the column of my throat. He grips my thigh, pulling until I’m seated in his lap, his hardened length digging into me.
“We can’t do this here,” I warn even as my head falls back and my back arches, my hips grinding against his.
“I know,” he laments, peppering kisses along my neck and over my collarbone. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you just as badly.” The last time we ran into this problem, we snuck away to his SUV, but it’s too cold for that tonight. I’m afraid if we go to my room, my grandmother will hear us.
My body aches for him, but my brain finally snaps to attention and I pull away. “I want you. I want you so bad it hurts,” I confess. “But if we don’t stop, things are going to get out of hand.”
“Shit,” he hisses under his breath. “You’re right. I just can’t keep my hands to myself when you’re around. Even now, knowing this is foolish and we could get caught, I can’t resist you. I can feel how hot and wet you are through both our clothes.” I suck in a breath at his unfiltered honesty, knowing what he said is true, feeling both scandalized and turned on by his bold acknowledgement of it.
“It’s probably best if I sleep on the couch tonight. If I go to your bed, we’re going to embarrass ourselves.” He shoots me a devious grin and I groan. My heart is racing and I’m ready to say,screw it, but he’s right. If he’s in my bed, then he’ll end up inside me. I shiver at the thought but clamp down my arousal.
“I hate this,” I admit.
“I know.” He brushes his thumb over my cheek soothingly. “I should let you get to bed. We have a busy day ahead of us.” I nod my agreement and slide off his lap.
“I’ll grab some blankets and pillows for you.” Jacob retreats to the bathroom to change into his sleep clothes while I retrieve bedding from my closet. When I return, he’s sprawled out on the couch looking comfortable and relaxed, which eases my conscience a little. I toss the blanket over him and slide the pillow under his head before perching on the edge of the couch next to him. “Sleep tight.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
Emotion coats my throat, thick and persistent, but I swallow past the lump.
“That’s what my dad used to say to me every night before bed.”
“Ah, it makes sense now.”
I cock my head to the side in confusion. “What makes sense?”