Page 2 of Anything For This Love

“You got a new tattoo?”

“I did,” he replies, oddly trepidatious. “I got it right after you left.” His words are a punch in the gut, but I swallow past my hurt, curiosity overriding the pain.

I reach for him tentatively, hoping he won’t shy away from my touch. “What does it mean?” He rolls his arm over, his palm facing the ceiling as my fingers graze the new tattoo. As soon as he opens his mouth, memories snap into place. We learned these numerals in grade school. I know what they mean.

“It’s Chloe’s birthday,” he replies.

I fight back tears; the fact that he permanently etched our daughter’s date of birth into his skin tugs at my heartstrings, a balm to my weary soul. As quickly as the peaceful feeling washes over me, it dissipates as he pulls his arm away and hurriedly grabs the glass dish, sliding it onto the oven rack. His reaction stings, but I bury those feelings, reminding myself that he’s still hurting.

This certainly isn’t the reception I expected when I decided to drive up here, but it isn’t the worst that could happen. He could’ve turned me away when I knocked on his door or slammed it in my face like I did to him when he first came back to town. Our recent phone conversations may have gone well, but there’s still tension between us, old grievances left unresolved. I apologized for leaving like I did and giving him the cold shoulder after everything went down with his parents and we decided to try to make it work, but he’s obviously still upset. I see it in the set of his jaw and the furrow in his brow. His features are guarded, those icy blues slightly narrowed as if watching my every move, preparing for me to bolt again. I can’t blame him. He has every right to feel that way, to doubt me.

He sets the timer and turns to me, and I yearn to lean into him. The absence of his warmth sends a chill down my spine and I shudder.

“Are you cold? I have some blankets in the living room.” He motions for me to follow and I fall in step behind him as he leads me across the vast, open space. “Here.” He hands me a soft, cream colored throw and takes a seat in an armchair. All hope of him embracing my presence in his home evaporates and I fight back tears at his subtle rejection. Sinking onto the loveseat he pulled the blanket from, I wrap the plush material around my shoulders, unsure whether it will do much good to ward against the cold settling deep in my bones. I wish he would take me in his arms and wrap them around me instead, but he’s clearly putting distance between us. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe he doesn’t want to try anymore. My chest aches at the thought. My happy ending was within reach and I threw it all away.

“How long are you planning to stay?” He glances down, checking the time on his watch. “Dinner won’t be ready for another hour. That will put you getting home really late.” Pain slices through me, my heart clenching with his words.

“I hadn’t planned to head home until Sunday afternoon,” I confess and hang my head.He might as well know that I’d intended to come here and spend the weekend making up with him, telling him with my body and heart how sorry I am and how much I’ve missed him.

His head ticks back in surprise. “What? Who has Chloe?”

I recoil at his question. Doesn’t he know I’d never leave our daughter with someone incapable of caring for her? The ache in my chest intensifies. Again, my expectations do not match reality. I expected excitement, not the doubt and mistrust I recognize in the set of his jaw. “My grandmother has her. Ethan is there, too.”

He stands abruptly and the motion startles me. I lift my face to him, nearly falling back in surprise.

“Did you plan to stay the night here?” His voice is gruff, but his features look almost...hopeful.

I stare up at him, willing myself to hold his gaze despite my fear. Despite the fact my heart has been breaking since the moment I stepped inside this house and he made no move to touch me.

“Yes,” I whisper, and his head falls back. My pulse kicks up, my body coming to life when his smoldering gaze meets mine again.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” I’m not sure exactly what he’s asking so I stay silent, my wide eyes unblinking as I take him in. He scrubs a frustrated hand over his face and looks away for a moment. “Are you here for good, or are you just trying to work out how we’re going to co-parent Chloe?” His face turns stony and the fire in his eyes morphs into a blazing inferno. “Because if you’re just here-”

“I’m here for good!” I bark out, my breaths now coming in and out in a pant. I want more than just to co-parent with him. I want to be partners, lovers... everything.

He studies me for a beat, his stunned gaze searching mine, looking for any signs of deceit.Then he grabs me and pulls me to my feet. His hand grips the back of my neck, curling possessively into my hair as his mouth crashes against mine. I grip his sides to steady myself and my lips part, a moan slipping out as his tongue dives inside.

He growls and pulls back for a moment. “Why didn’t you say that when you first got here?” I don’t get a chance to respond before he kisses me again, his mouth sealing over mine and his arms crushing me to his chest. “Fuck, Abby, I’ve been on the verge of losing it since you walked through that door. Not knowing what you were here for,” he adds, his voice straining with emotion.

Desire pools low in my belly as he presses our bodies together and I feel his need straining against his pants. I want him, maybe even more than any other time before. His fingers dig into my hip as my hands fist his shirt. I want him inside me. It’s been too long. I can’t go another minute without the feel of his warm, bare skin against mine.

“Take me to your room,” I demand softly. He lifts me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he cups my ass.

“You meanourroom,” he asserts, punctuating his declaration with a kiss.

The vice squeezing my heart releases and warmth fills my chest. He’d once said he wanted Chloe and me to feel at home here, and I’m relieved to learn he hasn’t changed his mind.

When his feet hit the bottom step of his staircase, his grip tightens on me. “God, I’ve missed you,” he declares against my lips as he ascends the narrow stairway.

“I’ve missed you, too. I’m so sorry I left when you needed me most.”

“Shh, that’s all over now.” He kisses me again as he crests the top of the stairs and turns down the hall. Seconds later, he drops me onto his bed, pulling his shirt over his head in one smooth motion before covering my body with his.

I moan as his erection meets my core, the denim seam covering his zipper grinding against my center. His lips latch onto my neck and he sucks the sensitive skin into his mouth, causing me to gasp. My fingers thread through his hair as his hot tongue explores my throat and trails down to my collarbone. He nips at the tender protrusion gently with his teeth as his hand dives beneath the hem of my shirt and trails up my side to cup my breast. That familiar ache pulses between my legs when his thumb grazes my pebbled nipple over the lacy material covering my breast and a soft moan escapes my lips.

His other hand slips beneath my top and lifts the soft material, exposing my torso. “Off,” he demands, and I lean up so he can slide it over my head. Bringing his mouth back to mine, he rolls his hips, creating a delicious friction that my body craves. I need him inside me. We need to reunite our bodies and our hearts. Hopefully then, we can repair what’s broken between us, the love that I shattered into pieces when I left under the cover of darkness and secrecy, too afraid to deal with what came next.

Jacob’s fingers work to undo the button on my jeans, quickly releasing it and sliding my zipper down before pulling them down my legs. They catch on my boots, the ones I forgot I was wearing, and he lets out a low curse. He makes quick work of removing them and tosses them into the corner, not caring where they land. Once my pants are off, he stands and gazes down on me as I lay on his bed in nothing but my undergarments, and I fight the urge to cover myself. It’s in my nature to be shy and self-conscious, but Jacob has never made me feel like anything less than beautiful.

---