Page 16 of Everything We Left Unsaid

Abby

“What?” Tell him everything? What does that even mean?

“Start from the beginning,” he commands. “And tell me everything. We’re obviously not on the same page here. So regardless of what you believe happened, what you remember, what I remember... we’ve got to find some middle ground.”

Okay, I’ll indulge him. Even though I’m the only one with a firm grasp on what really happened, I guess it won’t hurt to refresh his memory. Not him, at least. I take a deep breath and prepare to revisit that painful moment, the day everything changed for us.

2 years, 2 months ago...

“Why won’t you answer your phone?” I stare down at the screen, punching the end call button when I get his voicemail for the fourth time. It’s been over a week since I last heard from him. I’d just found out about the baby and hadn’t quite wrapped my head around it yet. A week ago, I wasn’t ready to tell him. I needed time to process the news. I’ve since come to terms with it, even allowing myself to feel a little excitement. My appointment this afternoon helped. Hearing the baby’s heartbeat and seeing it on the screen made it very real to me, but also very special. I just wish I could share the news with Jacob.

I wanted to wait until after my first appointment to break the news to him, needing confirmation of the pregnancy for myself. And I got it, right there in black and white. How will he react? Will he be upset? Angry? Scared? I debate whether to try his cell again, worried he’ll see all these missed calls and think I’m a psycho. But I need to talk to him. Maybe he’s been really busy and is planning to call me back when he has a free moment. I try to stay positive as the phone rings on the other end of the line. His voicemail picks up again, and since I’m running low on options, I decide to leave him a message this time.

“Jacob, it’s Abby,” I begin, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “I need to talk to you. It’s really important. Call me back when you get this. Goodbye.” I hang up and wait.

Two days later, I give up waiting him out. I’ve texted him a couple times since the voicemail, letting him know how urgently I need to speak with him. Nothing. No response at all. So I try calling again. He doesn’t pick up. What do I do? Text him the news? I’m pregnant. Surprise! I can’t do that. Even though I’m furious, confused, and hurt. Why doesn’t he call me back? Is he seeing someone else and just doesn’t have the decency to tell me? Is he in a coma and can’t talk to anyone, let alone me? The surprise of the pregnancy is starting to wear off and now my focus has shifted. I’d been so distracted this past week that his silence hadn’t seemed quite so... loud.

On the third day following the voicemail, I hear my phone ding with a text alert while taking a shower. Assuming it’s Tiff or my brother, I leave it until I’m dried off and dressed. My heart jumps into my throat at the sight of Jacob’s name on my screen. I quickly open it and hold my breath as I read it.

Jacob:Sorry I haven’t returned your calls. Lost my phone. Just now

found it.

I exhale my relief, my whole body relaxing for the first time in more than a week. Pressing the call button, I put my phone up to my ear and wait for him to answer. I crave his voice, the sound so rich and deep it warms my insides. I’m so relieved to hear from him, I forget how upset his silence made me. Again, my call goes to voicemail.

“What the hell?” He just texted me. Why isn’t he answering now? Another

text comes through a couple minutes after I end my call.

Jacob: Can’t talk right now. Sorry. Txt you later.

Um, okay. That’s weird. I try to shrug it off, reminding myself that he has a busy schedule. Maybe he’s having dinner with his parents. Or another politician. I’m sure it would be considered rude to answer your cell at a time like that. He says he’ll text me later, so I’ll just wait to talk to him then.

But he doesn’t text me later. Or the next day. I try calling him again, though I’m not surprised when he doesn’t answer. He texts back a while later, making his apologies and feeding me another BS excuse. I’m starting to get pissed. It’s crucial that I speak with him and he’s blowing me off. At least my anger overshadows the heartache.

Over the next couple days, he does the same thing to me; dodging my calls, then sending me a text hours later apologizing and making excuses. I’ve finally had enough.

Abby: I’m pregnant. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks.

I wanted to do this over the phone, but you won’t answer.

My finger hovers over the send button, not wanting to deliver this life-altering information over text. In the end, I decide I have to. This is the only way he’ll communicate with me, and he needs to know. Without letting myself think about it any longer, I send the message. Bile rises in my throat as my body trembles with nervous energy. What have I done?

I don’t hear from him for the next twenty-four hours. I’m not shocked, not really, not at this point. Hurt? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Mad as hell? Definitely. I finally get a response as I climb into bed, exhausted from a long day at Rosie’s.

Jacob:I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful. Do you need

anything?

My eyes well with tears as a sob breaks loose. It’s not the response I was looking for, especially considering it took him a whole day to come up with it, but it’s not the worst thing he could’ve said.

Abby: I just need you.

I type out the words but don’t send them. I sound pathetic. He’s been brushing me off since he found his phone. He doesn’t deserve to have me say that to him. I erase the message and type out a new one.

Abby: I’m not even sure at this point. It’s still so new.

It’s not a lie, it just isn’t the whole truth. Several minutes pass before my phone chimes again.

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