Page 68 of Something that Could Last

“Ms. Harris, I’m Officer Richardson. I just need to get your statement regarding what happened with Mr.-” he glances at his clipboard, “Caleb Carlisle.”

Just the sound of his name makes me cringe. He asks me to recount the evening and I do, to the best of my ability. I don’t remember much after dancing with Jacob and him singing to me, and even that memory is incredibly fuzzy. I do remember seeing Caleb on my first trip to the restroom, but I tried to avoid him at all costs. I hadn’t told Jacob I saw him because things were going so well and I didn’t want his presence to ruin our evening. Now I wish I would have.

At some point I just blacked out, and there’s a big, blank space where there shouldn’t be. I have no recollection of leaving The Barn, of Jacob finding me, or of Ethan beating Caleb to a pulp. That’s probably a good thing. Even though there’s a vengeful side of me, a very human side, that hopes my brother broke every bone in Caleb’s face, seeing him do so would’ve been too traumatic for me to handle.

Once Officer Richardson leaves, I close my eyes and rest back on the pillow, my head throbbing. The constant sensation of feeling like I’m going to throw up will not go away. Jacob grabs my hand and squeezes.

“Are you okay?” I know he’s not asking about my headache or my nausea. I can deal with that. He wants to know where my head’s at.

“I will be.” He leans in and kisses me on my hairline just as a nurse walks in to discharge me. When she’s finished removing my IV and going over my instructions, I turn to Jacob and tell him, “Take me home.” He nods and hands me a stack of clothing.

“Tiff brought these for you. She didn’t think you’d want to wear what you had on last night.”

She’s right. I might burn those clothes.

“Thank you.” I walk to the restroom on shaky legs and change from the hospital gown into the t-shirt and running shorts Tiff brought me. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, wincing at my matted hair and the fresh bruise blossoming on the side of my face. My scalp is sore, like I’ve been dragged around by my hair.What did that asshole do to me?By the looks of things, I must have fought back at some point. If I didn’t feel so defeated, I might actually be proud of myself for that.

I try to walk out, but the nurse insists on taking me out in a wheelchair per hospital policy. She’s young, maybe close to my age, and I assume she’s new to her job. She gapes at Jacob’s Range Rover when he pulls up to the ER entrance. I stand up and turn around to thank her, but her eyes are focused on the shiny vehicle behind me, though they follow Jacob hungrily as he jogs over to me to help me into the car. “Take care,” she mumbles, still watching Jacob. The spike of jealousy from the nurse ogling him quickly dissipates when he places a sweet kiss to my temple and opens the door for me.

The sun is just starting to break over the horizon and I wonder how long I was unconscious. The ride home is quiet, neither of us knowing what to say, and I feel the tension rolling off him. I know he’s fighting to control the rage burning deep inside, but that’s not what this is about. Something else is bothering him.

When we pull up to my house, Jacob shuts the car off but makes no move to get out. He gazes out the windshield, refusing to meet my eye. After a few beats of silence, he finally speaks.

“I’m so sorry,” he pleads mournfully, eyes downcast.

I just stare at him, stunned, confused by his apology. “What on earth do you have to be sorry for? Yousavedme. I don’t even want to think about what that monster would have done if you hadn’t gotten to me when you did.”

He shakes his head and grips the top of the steering wheel with both hands, his knuckles blanching. “I shouldn’t have let you out of my sight. You were gone for too long, and I waited longer than I should have to come looking for you.” His jaw is so tight, it might crumble under the pressure. His shoulders are tense, his arms flexed and veins popping out on the surface of his skin.

I place my hand on his straining bicep, but he won’t meet my gaze. He just continues staring a hole through his windshield. “This is not your fault,” I assert with resolve. “There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. People like him are predators.” I refuse to say his name. He doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged as a human being. “They watch and wait, and when they find their opening, they strike. If it hadn’t been last night, it would have been some other time. I thank God you were there.” I swallow back the emotion clogging my throat, and fresh tears sting my eyes. “If you hadn’t been there, he would have succeeded.”

His eyes widen and flash to my face, and I see he hadn’t considered that scenario. If Caleb had waited to do this a week from now, Jacob would already be gone. He wouldn’t have been there to save me. A thousand emotions pass between us, expressed with nothing but our eyes. Suddenly he grabs both sides of my face and presses his lips to mine. I suppress a wince at the painful sensation spreading over my left cheek and temple. I don’t want to draw attention to my battered face.

Jacob releases my lips and presses his forehead to mine, his eyes shut tightly. “I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.” I can feel his hands shaking. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

My lips and heart both tremble at his admission. I close my eyes and let him cover my face in kisses. I can’t even speak. I want to tell him that Idoknow, because I feel the same way, but I’m too overcome with emotion.

Jacob releases me and helps me out of the car. He holds on to me as I make my way towards the front door, as if I might not be strong enough to bear my own weight. My grandmother opens the door and ushers us inside.

“Do you want something to eat? I can make you some breakfast,” she offers. I’d sent her home before giving my statement, not wanting her to hear all the gory details as Jacob filled in the blanks. She was reluctant to leave me, but with Jacob’s assurances that he would bring me straight home, she finally gave in. Now she’s hovering, waiting within reach in case I fall apart.

I shake my head. I can’t even think about food right now. “I just want a glass of water.”

“Go lie down and I’ll bring it to you.”

Jacob follows me to my room, never releasing his hold on me. I sit on the edge of the bed and he crouches in front of me, sliding off my shoes. I can’t help myself. I reach out and stroke his hair. He’s so sweet and caring. The pain in his eyes makes me frown.

“Tell me what you need, Abby,” he pleads. “I’m lost here. I don’t know what to do to make this better.”

A sad smile spreads over my lips. “There’s not much you can do. Just be here.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he promises.

My grandmother brings me a glass of water and some pain relievers, watching as I swallow the two white tablets and gulp down the whole glass. She stands next to Jacob, wringing her hands, her worn face etched with worry.

“I’d really like a shower before I crawl into bed.” Neither of them act like they want to let me out of their sight, but they don’t protest.

I spend a good forty-five minutes in the shower. I’m perfectly clean after the first ten, but I keep feeling like I need to wash him off me. I scrub until my skin is raw, and then I sit on the floor of the shower and cry. Scrub, then cry. Scrub, then cry. Over and over until the water runs cold. I dry off and slip on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Even though it’s at least eighty degrees outside, I’m shivering, a bone chilling coldness settling deep inside me.

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