Page 94 of Season of Gifts

“Which I successfully got Henry to try.”Alice swiveled to catch his eye.Even a glance might remind him of the day they’d had, the treats teased from her fingers with his tongue.But Henry cleared his dishes from the table without acknowledging her—or Jay, whose face fell as his usual task was stolen from him.“That was such a great day.We’ll try for a repeat.”

“I think it would be best if you and Jay helm the outing for the tree, Alice.”The sink sprayer spat over Henry’s words, rinsing the last scrapes of oatmeal from his bowl.“Mother and I will remain here and ready the music room to receive it.”

Jay swallowed in a hurry.“You’re not coming?”

Mother lowered her teacup.“Of course we are.Henry, it’s a family outing in the spirit of the season.Green trees and fresh air are perfectly in line with the care team’s recommendations.Watching Jay select a tree for us will be far less laborious than the exercises I completed in the rehabilitation class yesterday.”

“The exercises were indoors, climate controlled and under supervision.”Henry moved on to the dishes from the stovetop, adding suds to the oatmeal pot, his back straight.If his broad shoulders held tension, his sweater hid it.But neutral dom voice was making an appearance.“The tree farms are far from medical assistance, and the cold air could seize your lungs.We haven’t the portable oxygen to bring along anymore.”

“I have acres of scarves, darling.More than enough to keep me breathing heated air for a few hours.”Mother kept her tone light, but she wielded the same steel beneath as Henry did.

“A few hours on your feet, which could lead to dizziness and an elevated heart rate even with your medication.”The scouring pad scuffed across the metal again and again, Henry’s arm in constant motion.“Alice and Jay will do a splendid job selecting the tree, and staying home will conserve your energy for the decorating, Mother.We’ll have music and treats—mulled cider, perhaps?”

Alice’s tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.Not from the oatmeal, but the indecision.Jay shoveled food in as fast as he could gulp it down.He couldn’t even be tasting it—just throwing glances at Henry doing the cleanup work that should’ve been his.

She should wade into the mess, but what could she say?She had zero information about Mother’s actual health status.Mother might be pushing herself to do too much because she was tired of missing out on activities.Henry might be leaning hard into overprotective mode because that’s what he did.Jay had joked about it after his accident last winter, how Henry insisted he follow all of the care instructions and stay off his bike and wait to heal.But the waiting hadn’t hurt Jay, and it might have helped him.

“You can tell me what kind of tree you want, Mom.”Jay let his spoon fall against his empty bowl.“Before we go.”Reaching back, he pulled his phone from his pocket and set it on the table.“I can take notes.When I…” He ran his thumb along the phone case, with its knobby rubber bumpers.“When I got to Mrs.Eickhoff’s, she was—like she’d fallen out of her chair, she was—the ambulance hadn’t come yet.Her neighbor was sitting with her.With her body.”

The sounds at the sink stopped.

Mother folded Jay’s hand in both of hers.Tears grew in her eyes, waiting for the surface tension to break and spill over.“I’m so sorry that happened, darling.It must have been very upsetting.”

Jay wrapped his other hand over the top of Mother’s.He leaned close, sitting on the edge of his chair and gazing straight at Mother with his endlessly deep brown eyes.“If the cold air and the walking is bad for your heart, I don’t want you to go.”A grimace pinched his lips; a thready plea wound itself in his voice.“I promise I’ll take real good notes.And I can send you photos, or call you with video and walk you around all the best trees.And you can stay warm and rest, and then we can decorate together.”

Glancing from Jay to the straight line of Henry’s back, Mother delicately swallowed.A bright smile spread across her face.“You boys are right, of course.”Tugging Jay forward, she insisted on a hug.She embraced him with wiry strength, lightly rubbing his back.“And you’ll tell me all about your Mrs.Eickhoff while we decorate.I want to hear all about her baking, and…” Past Jay’s shoulder, Mother’s gaze landed on Alice.One eyebrow lifted.

“And her gin rummy games”—quick, what all did she know about the woman?—“and her grandkids…”

Mother squinched her eyes in thanks.“And all of the other things that made her special, Jay.”As her grip shifted to his shoulders, he rocked back to arm’s length, his posture quasi-inspection except for his head—level, not bowed.“And I would adore having you vicariously share your tree adventure today, however seems best.”She tapped the back of his phone case.“These really are the most magnificent devices.Olivia and Natalie have taken to sending me ridiculous images to make me smile—”

Ollie.Ollie, who might have spoken to Mom, who might have mentioned Alice’s disaster of a visit.Ollie was in regular communication with Henry’s mom.The potential bomb she needed to defuse with Henry was now a land mine, and it could be set off at any moment by Mother solicitously asking how Alice was after visiting her parents.

“—and Emma and I have begun chatting—”

“When was this?”Henry swung back toward them, his gaze sweeping like a lighthouse.

“Naturally I had to thank her and William for the gift basket the other day, darling.”Mother patted Jay’s arm and let him go.He cleared their empty dishes and made a beeline for Henry’s side.“We spoke a bit when I visited for your wedding, and with nurturing, I believe our chats will bloom into an excellent friendship.”

Other people were so much better at maintaining relationships.Every damn time, Alice defaulted to not intruding.Assuming people would reach out when they needed to, which was laughable when she’d been the poster child for not reaching out, for not needing anything even when she desperately did.

Of course Emma, with her social networking upbringing, would be keeping in touch.Of course Ollie, who did all the heavy lifting with Mom and Dad and nagged Alice if she was quiet for too long, would be messaging “Mama Helen” to entertain her while she was sick.

“This is what you’re doing when you’re meant to be resting, Mother?Clandestine conversations?”Henry shifted sideways, letting Jay take over the sink duties and load the dishwasher.Maybe that counted as a victory.A full day here, and he would fold them into the rhythms of this household and stop treating them as outsiders.“How will that aid in your recovery?”

“I’ve turned off the noises; they don’t interrupt my sleep.”Mother toyed with the chain of the tea ball, but she didn’t start fixing a second cup.“And I find receiving messages of support and love from distant family and friends quite restful and comforting.”

One more way Alice’s certainty that she shouldn’t disturb Henry and his mom had backfired a thousand percent.Jay would’ve lovedto have a daily call with Henry’s mom if he couldn’t be there in person.They both would have benefited, and she and Henry had been roadblocks instead of express lanes.Fucking hell.

“And I feel useful.Needed.Having a child to pour attention into can lift one out of dark places.”

Sagging against the counter, Henry closed his eyes briefly.“Of course.Yes.”

The dark places.If the very mention could get an actual emotional reaction out of Henry, then that’s where they needed to go today.Alice would share hers—Dad’s hurled accusations, her fears she’d made things worse for Mom—and she would ask, then insist, then demand that he share his.Something had made them fuck up the last two weekshard, and they couldn’t let that continue.

Mother firmly slid the teacup and saucer away from her.“Olivia and Natalie are starved for adequate parenting—with no disrespect intended to either of your families, my darlings—”

Alice splayed her hands and shook her head.“No, I get it.”

---