Page 84 of Season of Gifts

Jay’s new collar and cuffs sat in a display box like a jeweler’s signature piece.Simple, elegant—so very Henry that she nearly dropped to her knees in the place Jay had prepared.What a temptation the gift must have been for him.He’d opened the gift… Monday night?The days had run together like sidewalk chalk in the rain.To have Henry’s ownership so close and not be able to wear it?

“Fuck.”She could’ve fixed that.Not with the new gift, but she could have gotten an okay from Henry to order Jay to wear his harness each night.For an hour, maybe.Told him to towel off well, and don his harness, and wear it through dinner.Kneel in their shrine and come for her.“Why do I never fucking think of these things at the right time?”

Henry would’ve done a better job—but he hadn’t either.In some ways, sure.She’d only thought of teasing Jay the other morning because he’d told her about Henry’s delicious reward for finding his gift and the opportunity was there.But she and Henry had both been distracted with their own shit, and neither of them had created a consistent long-distance routine for Jay.No wonder he’d been despondent yesterday.They’d made promises a month ago and had already fallen short.

Imperfect love.Henry had taught her such a thing existed.The effort mattered, and the sincerity mattered, and they would both apologize to Jay.

He’d shown her another gift, one for her.In a bottom drawer…

Leaving the collar and cuffs untouched, she stalked to the dresser and crouched at the center.Her tug on the handles rolled the drawer out with the faintest rasp of wood on wood, a rough whisper of delights to come.The gift bag bore a tag with her name on the drawstring.She could pick it up, take the bag off, see the shape—

“But is that the experience I want?”She tipped her head against the drawers, staring down, considering.They wouldn’t get to play with the gifts until after Christmas no matter what.She had big things to talk with Henry about when she called him.Throwing the gift into the pot meant she wouldn’t be able to think about one without the other.Did she want to burden some new toy with that feeling?Her sigh hollowed out her belly.“I can wait.It’s not like this is going anywhere.”

Which was…true.She slid the drawer closed.They would have other years for a perfect run-up to Christmas.Hell, they could make it bigger and better every year, the way Jay’s casual mention of mirror sex had kicked off the journey that led to buying this house.Henry didn’t do things in half-measures.

She left the playroom behind.Unlikely that anything in there would go on the packing list, though Henry’s room in Maine was at the opposite end of the hall from his mother’s, and it did have its own bathroom.Still.Small and quiet would serve them better than odd noises that invited investigation.

Her feet drove her up the stairs instead of down, carried her to their bedroom shrine.The four walls sang of love.She wouldn’t have time for a full room check tonight, but she could hardly fault Jay for the rumpled comforter.She’d left one just like it in their bedroom downstairs.His wish book hung over the edge of the nightstand; maybe he’d been coming up here to write out his homework.

Shit, should that go in the bag for Maine?She needed to pack for her and Jay for a week up there, and fresh clothes for Henry, and the gifts, too, but she’d have to locate his first.It was time to call him.To stop nervously avoiding it, because she’d been Team Henry for the last two weeks, backing his every decision, and now she was flat-out overruling him.But her decision was in Jay’s best interest, and it would be in Henry’s, too, regardless of what he might think about that today.In a medical crisis, moods could shift on the wind.She would have to be compassionate but firm.

“We are going to Maine.”Louder, for the origami cats in the back.“We are going to Maine.”

She lay back on the bed.This room was hers; she was the dominant here.Tonight, she and Henry and Jay would share a bed again.Not even necessarily for sex—for the connection they all needed to reforge.

Rolling to her hip, she slipped her phone from her pocket.Two taps and the line was ringing.And ringing.Four times, maybe his voicemail would—

“Alice?Is something the matter?”Noise cluttered Henry’s end of the call, an indistinct cacophony not unlike the break room of a factory floor while folks waited around for a test to go well.

“No, I just need to talk to you about plans.Where are you?”Please let him not be in the emergency room again.Please let Mother—

“In line for goose, amusingly enough.”His sigh sounded anything but amused.“The butcher is frightfully busy before the holiday.I do believe there’s a brawl happening over a cut of prime rib.I apologize, dearest, but might I call you back when I’ve finished with errands?”

She curled her knees up toward her chest.“I think so?”She’d have to hustle to pack, and she needed to take care of a few errands herself.If she started with wrapping gifts and grabbing takeout to reheat, maybe...“Will you be done by three or four, you think?It’s time-sensitive.”

“I’m afraid not.I don’t anticipate being free until after dinner.We may talk now, if you’ll pardon any interruptions.Unless the topic is of a personal nature?”

Would Henry consider discussing the contents of their closet too personal for public consumption?Only one way to find out.

“It’s just the rental car will get dropped off by five-thirty, and I need to know what to pack for a week in Maine.”She wrapped one hand around a headboard spindle and held tight, the phone gripped in her other hand.“You don’t have to waste your whole day tomorrow to fetch us.Jay and I are driving up tonight.”

A fit of coughing and vague shouting answered her.

“You’re doing what?”Henry’s staccato tone might have been irritation, but it could’ve been enunciation, too, trying to be heard in a noisy shop.Her timing had landed a little left ofdesirable.Might’ve ticked to a stop onunfavorable.

“Driving up tonight to make things easier.”She raised her voice.Background noise would be the best possible world answer.She’d just thrown a curve ball at a cautious planner, and she had no intention of taking it back.She’d have to sprint to first base to be safe.“Jay really, really needs you.I haven’t seen him yet—he’s still working—but just the way he’s been all week.I’m sorry, Henry.I wish I’d been able to say no to the work trip, but it was…”

All kinds of problematic.She had so much to tell him—her parents, Adam’s obnoxious puppet-mastering, the possible lateral shift at work so this wouldn’t happen again.“Complicated.I’ll tell you the whole mess tonight if you want.We all just need to be together.”

He still hadn’t said anything.

Maybe she was sliding headfirst into the bag and a face full of dust.“So let me know what kind of clothes we should bring, and if there’s anything specific you want, and I was thinking gifts?I doubt you want me to bring whatever you have in the playroom—I didn’t open it, because I’m your good girl—but I thought I’d bring mine for you and Jay, and I’m sure he has some for us, but I don’t know where you’re hiding yours or if you want me to—”

“A moment, please.”His end of the call quieted.Muffled, competing with a scratchy rustle that was probably his winter coat, he spoke to someone else.“…order for Webb, thank you.Christmas goose and…”

Of course Henry’s day was busy; Mom’s days had been extra-busy at the beginning too, back when Dad’s hope hadn’t drained away under a flood of oxy.She shoved back hard against the urge to apologize and hang up.He was short, sure, because he was under stress, but he was still making time to coordinate with her so they could give Jay the best Christmas possible despite all the shit this month had thrown at them.She wouldn’t even be bothering him with the packing questions except she didn’t want to embarrass him with the wrong clothes in front of his brother’s family or make Jay feel awkward and out of place because of something she chose.

She fluffed the pillow under her head, punching her arm underneath.Tonight they would have shoulders for pillows, and that would go a long way toward making things right again.If she stayed here much longer, she’d fall asleep.That would fuck the plan for the rest of the night.She ordered her legs to go get her a snack; their reply sounded an awful lot likeyou’re not the boss of me.

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