Page 81 of Season of Gifts

He had Will and Emma to thank for the kindness, but that note of appreciation would wait.He lacked the energy for another sparring match with Will.And if Emma had truly sensed something wrong with Jay, she would have called him directly, not outsourced an admonishment.She had no trouble speaking her mind whenever she wished.

His hand curled across the paper, his pencil gripped far too tightly for competence of any sort.Needles danced along his spine, proving particularly fond of the base of his skull.

The scratch of Mother’s pencil ceased.“Should we stop for the evening, darling?”She stretched a hand across the quilt toward him, falling short of his arm.“You don’t appear to have the heart for sketching just now.”

“No, please, continue.”Sketching kept Mother’s mind and hands occupied while resting her body.He had no better pastime to offer.“I’ll select another subject.Something a bit closer to my heart.”Raising one leg, he shifted sideways in the chair.His knee touched the back; his foot dangled from the seat.Jay and Alice would certainly feign shock to see him sitting so casually.He lifted the sketchbook and contemplated Mother in profile.“There, that’s better.”

Her noble chin dipped; one stern eyebrow climbed.But her eyes glowed merrily, and her lips curved in a gentle bow.“Oh no you don’t.I see this face daily in the mirror.Draw me Alice and Jay, if you would.One of those wedding photos you showed me this morning.You had quite the talented photographer.”

“Yes, yes we did.”The young woman had a knack for capturing emotion.One of the shots of his spouses sweeping down the aisle toward him would make a perfect reference.“Just a moment.”

He retrieved his phone from the floor beside the chair.So strange to keep the device constantly at hand.At home his rules prevented its intrusion on the time he and his spouses could spend with one another.But in the past two weeks, as their company had grown distant, the phone had become a ubiquitous companion.

The link to the album would be in their message thread—

And a new message from Alice within the last hour, to him alone.Good news!Everything’s wrapped up here.I’ll be home tomorrow.Talk more then.Early to bed for me.I have a date with the airport before sunrise.I love you.

He responded with a quick message of love; if she’d fallen asleep, she would at least know his heart when she woke.Her return would buoy Jay’s spirits as well, if indeed they needed it.He’d seemed reasonably and authentically cheerful last night during their call about the photos.Perhaps whatever upset Emma had noted Tuesday had been short-lived, a temporary state brought about by Henry’s forgetfulness regarding their anniversary, rectified by apologies and Jay’s therapy session yesterday.

A message to Jay would be appropriate as well, though a call would likely serve better, if he could muster the energy for it.

“Are you having trouble finding a suitable image?”Mother had returned to sketching, her pad propped against a lap desk supported by her bent knees.The sloping quilt surrounded her with vibrant flowers.

“No, my apologies, Mother.”He folded the phone against his stomach.That was the danger of the device—the bright lure claimed more time than intended, stealing attention from the loved ones in front of him.“A note from Alice captured my thoughts.It appears we will all be together Saturday as planned.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!”She leaned forward, her smile expanding.“We’ll be able to attend the ballet.I was worried we would have to miss it.”

“The ballet?”His mental catalogue for the weekend included no such thing.

“Yes, I procured the tickets weeks ago, after we confirmed the timing for your visit.Before all of this nonsense.”She waved at the oxygen mask beside her and the tubing draping down the side of the bed to the tank.“Perhaps at tomorrow’s checkup they’ll take this back, so we needn’t be so encumbered at the theater.”

Weeks ago.Yes, they’d briefly discussed potential outings.His mind had become a sieve, unaccountably retaining ancient history while filtering out the here and now.She’d likely intended a day out in Portland—a bit of window shopping, dinner, the performance.Far too exhausting for her in her current state.“I’m afraid we’ll have to skip theNutcrackerthis year, Mother.Alice and Jay will understand the need to wait for next year.”

“I don’t see why.”Her tone tart, she folded her arms over the top of her slender desk.“I am, in fact, a champion at sitting still for hours.”

The entire day had been a series of small disagreements.Prioritizing her health made him far from her favorite son.But the precautions were for her benefit.“Being so far from your care team for an extended period would be unwise.Not to mention the lengthy car ride, the stairs at the venue, the jostling of the crowd—”

“At least take Alice and Jay, then.”Her fingers gripped the edge despite her cheerful encouragement.“A night out for the newlyweds.The respite would do you well.”

Hardly a respite after a three-hour drive each way to retrieve them.“The timing would be difficult.”Would he ask Lina to arrive at nine in the morning and stay through the night?Surely not, three days before Christmas.“A quiet night in for the four of us would be a sweeter reward.Shall we call Constance about the tickets in the morning?She and Robert could take the boys.”

Mother sagged back against the pillows, her eyes fixed on the tray of dishes, her lips tight.Narrow furrows surrounded her mouth like craggy fjords.“Do you know the most difficult thing about an extended illness, Henry?It is not the pain or the unending checkups or the pitying glances disguised as sympathy.It is the shrinking of one’s universe, the tightening until one can’t escape the shroud.”

“Not a shroud.”Klaxons screeched, bringing all other mental operations to a halt.Danger lay down this path.A chill wind swept across his skin.“A safe nest, rather.A place to heal before taking flight once more.How about a concert next month instead?Shall we see what’s on the schedule?”

“Next month when you and your brother have installed a stranger in my home to dog my every step and ration my tea, you mean?”Green eyes flared; she tucked her knees closer to her chest.

A wild exaggeration.Confrontation would serve only to make both of them more agitated, his words hastier and ill-considered, her defensive postures more wounded and childlike.The tension in his back had spread to his shoulders, down his arms.A similar response in her would strain her heart.He forced his hands flat against the sketchbook and breathed calm into his voice.“We’re worried about you being alone, that’s true.”

“I am hardly alone.You are here.Alice and Jay will be here soon.You still intend to stay the week, don’t you, darling?”She confirmed with a nod, her logic irrefutable, the outcome unassailable.Self-evident how mistaken he was.“And after that I will be fine on my own.The medication will be in full effect, this damnable tank will be gone, and I will attend my rehabilitation and complete all of the follow-ups as prescribed.”Her splayed hands indicated a fait accompli.Only a fool could fail to agree.“I do not need a minder.”

More fool him if he believed such a thing.

“I have seen what happens when you don’t have a minder.I would not wish—” The thunder of paramedics racing down the hallway.“I would not—”

Mother lying so still.

He pushed off the chair with a heavy breath, as if he might find fresher air above the current clouds.

---