Page 54 of Season of Gifts

“Anything.”

Five years ago, he’d have taken Jay to task for such a response.“First, please check in with Alice tonight.You may share the details of our evening if you wish and assure her that her gift is waiting for her return.”

“I can do that.”The Santa hat must have slipped off in the excitement; Jay’s eyelashes fluttered as his hair swept across them.“What else?”

“In your wish book this week, please write for me how having the collar and cuffs makes you feel and what hopes you may have for their use.”He’d given Jay no prompt on Saturday, a grievous oversight.“I’ll grant you an extension on the assignment, should you need one.”

Jay’s grin outshone the moonlight off the snow.“I won’t need one.Thank you, Henry.”

“Be well, my dear boy.Is there anything you need from me before we say goodnight?”

Jay shook his head.“Just that you know I love you.”

“I do know,” he whispered, his voice unexpectedly thready.“As I love you, Jay.”

“Goodnight, Henry.”

“Goodnight, dearest.”

The call disconnected.He set the phone on the windowsill and rubbed his hands down his thighs.The impromptu scene had given Jay all he needed to ease his loneliness and fears.But although Henry had spoken no lies, and although fulfilling his submissives’ needs remained a great joy in his life, the evening’s play had not eased his own mind.Rather the opposite.

His cock lay completely limp, unmoved by either his love or his desire.

“Exhaustion, that’s all.”

He lacked even the energy to believe himself.

Chapter twenty-eight

Alice

Thetaupebedspreadofa budget hotel for business travelers was without a doubt the blandest thing known to man.Dinner had been fine, and Wade was professional and kind without being creepy, but this boring bedroom would be Alice’s prison every night until she fixed the factory’s problem.If the line didn’t churn out the goods, the assemblers and packagers didn’t get their shifts.Smaller paychecks weren’t anyone’s idea of a great Christmas gift.

“Where did we get it wrong?”

The bedspread kept its silence.Her laptop and the stack of printouts on the little desk bolted to the floor didn’t hold any answers either, or at least none she’d been able to find.Her eyes ached from the effort.

Not quite nine, according to the room’s alarm clock.They’d be at the site by seven tomorrow morning; nothing she could review again now would help her solve the puzzle.Adam’s dig about the fuck-up being on her team’s end had gotten under her skin.But the design was sound, so something had gone wrong with installation.

Her fingers inched toward the folders anyway.She toyed with the cover, flipping it back and forth.Looking at the numbers was so much easier than looking at feelings.

“Which, hey, great job me for recognizing that I am…” She blew a breath at the ceiling.Bland, but not as bland as the comforter.Popcorny, like the house she grew up in.“Deflecting?”

What she would not do: Text Jay and ask ifdeflectingwas the right therapy word he’d brought home to describe her current restlessness.“Avoidance?”

Nah, that was what she was doing with Henry, trying to stay off his radar while he dealt with his mom’s medical stuff.Because she didn’t want to get tangled up in medical stuff again?Because he’d be better off without the interruptions and her wound-up nerves?

“So am I like this for me or for you?”She walked heel-toe across the room, arms outstretched, a sobriety test though she hadn’t even had a glass of wine with dinner.Thesogame didn’t work with just one player, especially when that player didn’t want to answer her own questions.“Get it together, Allie-girl.Telling either of them that I bumped into Adam is a bad idea.I’m not in danger of running out on Henry and Jay.”

Burdening them with her weirded-out vibes would put more pressure on Henry to be trademark Perfect Dom and give Jay extra worries about abandonment.Bad idea with a capital B.

Her pajama pants swooshed around her ankles with every step.She’d had to dig them out of a tote in the back of the closet.Seven months since she’d worn pajamas regularly.She’d swiped one of Jay’s tees for a sleep shirt.Twisting the cozy cotton in her fists, she flopped back on the bed.The thing would be a bear to sleep on: too soft, making her sink into some obnoxious mattress topper, and missing two other pairs of arms and legs and beautiful faces and warm skin—

With a growl, she lunged for the bedside table and snatched up her phone.Tapping out a text message, she updated Henry.He could see it or not; he could decide if now was a good time.He might be sleeping.His mom certainly would be.They were an hour ahead now.“For fuck’s sake, just send already.He’s your husband.Remember how you nearly fucked up everything by not communicating last spring?Let’s not do that again.”

Out-loud Alice was right.Jay couldn’t save her from herself this time; she didn’t have any laundry to do tonight.The message sent.

I’m safe and snug in my hotel room.Missing you and Jay.Hope all is well in Maine.I love you, Henry.I’m here if you want to talk.

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