Page 125 of Season of Gifts

Mom sipped her water like she hadn’t even noticed his near-cursing.

Grinning at him, Alice jabbed her fork into her roasted veggies, stacking broccoli and carrot.“That might be Nat’s favorite part of any family get-together.”

She did like being ornery.Or maybe not—maybe that was just the message he’d gotten from Peggy’s opinion of their sister.He’d have to ask her.Couldn’t learn anything if he didn’t ask.“I should’ve copied her.Peggy might’ve backed off me, too.”

Henry’s eyes darkened.He laid his hand on top of Jay’s and squeezed.“Or she may have moved to other tactics to control you.I know how hard you are working to unravel those threads, but I would hope that you know—” With pursed lips, he studied the ceiling and nodded softly.“I would hope that each of us knows, and believes, that the avenues we found to cope with difficulty were not wrong.We did the best we could with the resources we had.”He gazed at Jay, and Alice, and even his mom, with the steady compassion he’d offered Jay since the night they’d met.“Whatever our paths, we survived trying times and unreasonable demands.And although we may stumble back into those patterns when stress and circumstances overwhelm us, we continue pushing forward, assisting each other along the way.”

“That sort of support is a treasure.”Mom folded her hands in front of her plate, her eyes soft.Jay’s mom never looked at him the way Henry’s mom looked at Henry.“Particularly when you’re facing people who only understand a direct message.You may defer to them out of politeness, or age, or relationship, and they will use that as an opportunity to run right over you again and again.”

A weary certainty weighed down her voice, though she didn’t heave a big sigh like he would’ve.“You had a bossy older sister too?”

“Much worse, I’m afraid.”But she laughed and turned her sparkling spring-green eyes on him.“You wisely moved out of your sister’s reach, darling boy.I moved directly into the hornet’s nest when I married Henry’s father.”

Listening to Henry last night was the first time he’d realized his husband’s family wasn’t perfect, like one of the families in the nostalgic Christmas paintings they hung in the tree barn to make the buyers pick up more must-haves for their old-fashioned holiday.But this was a new story; if Henry knew it, he hadn’t said so.“You didn’t get along?”

“Robert’s mother and grandmother had certain ideas about how women ought to behave.”The sharp tilt of Mom’s eyebrow said what she thought about that.“My becoming a mother only made them more determined to comment upon my every action.Henry’s brother was the oldest son of the oldest son—the family heir.You would have thought him a crown prince.”

That was the brother he’d be meeting for the first time on Christmas Eve.Less than forty-eight hours away.They hadn’t talked about introductions.Did Henry’s brother know they were married?Would they have to take off their rings?Switch bedrooms?

“Sometimes he believes himself a crown prince.”Henry dipped in for a kiss on Jay’s cheek and rubbed Jay’s hand, pressing on his wedding ring.“However, we had a pleasant time at tea the other day, and he sends his congratulations on our nuptials.He and Constance are looking forward to meeting both of you.”

Jay’s heart stopped trying to play a drum solo and settled back into his chest.Somehow when he panicked, Henry knew exactly what to say.But he shouldn’t take that for granted.That was Henry doing work.Being his dominant and his partner, putting in effort.The more Jay could speak up, the smoother that work would be.“Thanks.”Angling his palm up, he held tight to Henry’s hand.“I’m a little nervous about meeting everybody.”

Alice squeezed his knee under the table.“Me too.But hey, we’ve both been through shouting and insults before and survived.How bad could it be?”

“I can assure you, there will be none of that.”Mom wrinkled her nose.“I should like to think I raised both of my boys better than that.”

“You most certainly did.”Henry took up his knife and fork and carved off a bite of chicken.“I believe you were saying you had to fight Grandmother for the chance to do so?”

“Oh yes.”Head shaking, Mom returned to her meal too, so Jay picked up his fork and stabbed toward his plate.“I could scarcely enjoy ten minutes of your brother to myself before your father’s relatives would swoop in and snatch him away.Lina began running interference until I had practiced enough to be comfortable refusing their demands.”

Huh.Henry’s mom was so put-together—kind but confident.Maybe not always, though.Maybe someday he would have fewer doubts in his head too.

Alice broke out the puzzle-pondering twist in her lips.“His dad didn’t say anything to them?”

“You know, I don’t believe he ever quite understood the problem.”Mom got a distant look, staring past Henry’s shoulder, and her slow-building smile turned into a soft hum.“Henry’s father was excellent at business negotiations, but he had no concept of the territorial struggles when three generations of women occupy one house with a single infant to go around.”

What would that have been like?To be so wanted that folks were arguing over who got to have time with him.He hadn’t gotten that as a kid.But he did sometimes now, when Henry and Alice play-argued over him, and the joy of it swallowed him whole.“But you beat them, right?”He shot Mom a charm smile.“Single combat?”

Her laugh rippled like music.“We took to the gardens for a bit of peace.They weren’t anything like they are now; Lina and I built them up together, with little Robert watching from beneath the sunshade on his carrier.I used to sing to him while we worked.”

Yeah, that was still pretty perfect.

The talk drifted into more stories of Henry and his brother as little-little kids, and by the time everyone finished eating and he cleared the table, it was practically bedtime for Mom.Henry went over the schedule for tomorrow—Mom’s rehab and more meal prep for the holiday— and Alice went upstairs to help Mom get ready for bed.Jay squared away the downstairs with Henry, turning off lights and checking doors, and held his hand as they climbed to the bedroom.

He hadn’t gone for a ride today, or gotten much more exercise than wheeling the cart around the grocery store, but his body wasn’t shoving antsy hyper signals at him either.Dreamy, that’s what it was.Which he figured out while his mouth was full of toothpaste.He spat and rinsed.The day had that floaty quality of dreams, like it couldn’t possibly be real, except it was.

When he stepped back into the bedroom, Alice was stripping off her day clothes and Henry was sliding the fuddy-duddy pajama bottoms he always wore at his mom’s house up over his ass.

“It was a good day.”Jay wasn’t announcing it to anyone in particular.Just felt good, warm in his chest, to name the feelings, like lying in the grass watching a flower uncurl its petals toward the sun.“Having all that time together.”If the whole last week had been like today, that would’ve been better.For him, anyway.“You think?”

“It was wonderful.”Half-hidden, Alice dragged the sleep shirt she’d stolen again over her head and tugged it around her breasts.She’d left him the shorts for modesty or whatever.“We needed a peaceful break.It’s funny—baking is like stepping outside of time, even though you’re measuring and timing things all day.”

“Baking—any work in the kitchen, truly—asks that you only focus on what is in front of you.”Henry buttoned away his chest under the pajama top.“The immediacy and precision sweep the mind clear of other concerns.Engaging the hands and the mind can be a cure for ruinous rumination.”He pulled back the corner of the sheets and smoothed the edge, even though they’d be getting into bed and wrinkling them all up any minute.“I confess, this day has been the most relaxing I’ve enjoyed in weeks.”

Pressure in Jay’s chest nudged him to breathe.Guess his lungs had been waiting on Henry’s opinion as much as his heart had.“Being around the people we love is important.Without them, thoughts keep coming like rapids in the stream.You slip and get spun around till you don’t know which way is up.Sometimes you’re stuck in the hole until rescue shows up.But then you float downstream, and the water is smooth as glass, and the thoughts bounce off like the shimmer from the sun.When you’re not so tied up with thinking, the feelings soak through you.”

A smile sprawled across Henry’s face.He squeezed Jay’s shoulder, his fingers firm and tight, clutching like he’d never let go.“Your wisdom in matters of the heart is unsurpassed, dearest.Being near the ones we love is a cure for many ills.”

---