Page 62 of Fool Me Once

Her shoulders shake against my frame.

“I’ll still be around,” she promises. “I still want to cheer you on at your games and for us to check in with each other on our lives. You deserve a woman who can be your anchor just as much as you are hers. I promise you, Smith, one day—hopefully sooner than later—I am going to be that anchor. And you’ll be able to lean on me the way I’ve leaned on you.”

As I hug her tightly, squeezing my eyes shut and breathing her in, I keep repeating a well-known saying in my head.If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.Over and over, I think of those words to remind myself that letting her go isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s the only thing I can do.

I loved her enough to let her go when I was in high school, and that was a mistake. But things are different now, and even though I’m letting her go … I’m not letting her go too far.

I just hope, when she’s feeling better, she comes back to me.

Icarry a few boxes stacked on top of each other in one hand with her duffel bag slung over my other shoulder. She didn’t have much when she moved in with me weeks ago, and she left most of the things I’d gotten her in the bedroom we both slept in.

I don’t think I’ll go back to my room because it smells like her.

“You all right, man?” Kolt utters, stepping beside me as Paige shows Gemma around the apartment that Kolt had built for when family came to visit—I’m guessing he did that because he’s a grumpy fucker who didn’t want his in-laws shacking up with him for too long.

I carefully set the boxes down before dropping the bag on the floor. “Not really,” I exhale as Storm nudges his wet nose against my palm. “But it’s what she needs, so I’ve gotta be all right. For her.”

Kolt isn’t the type to get emotional, yet he pats and grips my shoulder with his huge palm. “We’ll look after her real good, Sawyer. I promise.” He clears his throat. “You know, when Paige left me, I thought it would end up killing me. Looking back, I think we needed that time apart. To grow and to figure out our shit and realize how much we really did want to be together—no matter how much work it was going to take.” He gives my shoulder one more squeeze before dropping his hand. “If it’s meant to be—which I know it is—she’ll come back, and when she does, she’ll be better. She’ll be ready to give you all of herself instead of just pieces.”

Kolt and Paige’s situation might be leaps and bounds different from ours, but that doesn’t take away from his ability to understand how I’m feeling. He let Paige go because he thought he was keeping her from getting everything in life she deserved. I’m letting Gemma go because I know she needs to love herself again before wasting her energy loving me.

“Thanks,” is the only word I can muster up.

I have to look away to hide the fucking tears springing in my eyes fromKolt; although I know he can see through me, he doesn’t call me out on being a bitch.

Once I’ve gotten it together, I turn back toward him. “As far as the media knows, we’re still together, and we’re going to keep it that way. I know her piece-of-shit ex is still out there, and I don’t need to give him any reason to come sniffing around, thinking she’s not with me.”

“Understood,” he murmurs just as the girls walk toward us.

Paige gives Kolt a strange look before she smiles at both of us. “We’ll give you two a minute.” She laces her fingers through Kolt’s, and they walk down the stairs, giving me and Gemma some time alone.

Every second that passes is another second I’m closer to leaving her behind—again. I know she’ll be down the road and I’ll still see her, but so many thoughts rush through my head.

What if she decides she doesn’t love me anymore?

What if she finds someone else?

What if she never feels good enough to come back to me?

I shake my head at myself before glancing around nervously. “It’s a nice place,” I say, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I don’t want her to feel like I’m just dumping her off, but I also don’t want to suffocate her by hanging on too long. “You let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.”

Her eyes gloss over, and she pulls her sweatshirt down over her palm and wipes her tears before they have a chance to stream down her face. “Thank you, Smith. For … everything. I would have never made it through it all without you.”

Kneeling down, she makes a kissing noise to Storm, and he rushes over.

“I promise I’ll be back, buddy. And I’ll still take you for walks.” She has to wipe her eyes again as she hugs Storm’s neck.

“Actually,” I say, nodding toward one of the boxes and forcing myself to keep my emotions in check, “everything he needs is right in that box. His food gets auto-shipped to the house, but you’ll have plenty until the next order arrives.”

“What?” she croaks out, sniffling. “What do you mean?”

I don’t bother hiding my tears from Gemma. There’s really no use since I think they’d likely just fucking well up again. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I walk over to her and Storm and kneel down with them. “I think heneeds you just as much as you need him, Gem.” I nod. “So, he’s going to be staying here. With you.”

Her brows pull together as she sobs, covering her mouth with her hand. “What about Kolt and Paige? Will they be okay with that?”

“I called Kolt and asked him this morning, and he said he didn’t care, just as long as you don’t let him eat Paige’s cat—because it has already been through enough with having only three legs and she’s obsessed with him.” I chuckle, remembering how Kolt said Storm could try to eat his cat, Ted, though, but he’d get his ass kicked.

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