Page 60 of Fool Me Once

“What?” I whisper, shaking my head.

She nods. “Pretty great, huh? So many of the Sharks do wonderful things, but don’t want the world to find out. Really shows their character, if you ask me.”

“Yeah,” I say, still surprised. “It really does.”

It isn’t that I don’t think Smith is capable of things like that. I guess I just didn’t realize just how much he’s grown up since he left Wellton. But he’s a whole adult now. A good one too.

As Paige, Storm, and I make our way back toward Smith’s house, I think about everything she and I talked about today. I realize the only person who can control how my story goes from here on out is me. I can’t sit around and cry my life away and make excuses. If I want to get better, I need to be better. I need to show up for myself.

And that’s what I’m going to do.

Isit in the kitchen, waiting patiently for Gemma to get off the phone. I don’t want to rush her because she’s talking to her mom. Judging from what I might have overheard, I think her dad might have gotten good news at his appointment today.

I want to take her to dinner tonight or order in—she can decide. No matter what though, I want to voice my concerns and explain to her how much I care. It’s not an intervention, but just me proving that whatever she needs, I’ll be here to help.

She’s been spending more time with her new friends, and I think that’s been really good for her. Yesterday, she went for a walk with Paige, which is great and all, but Paige told her my secret about me and my doughnut giving, and then Gemma asked me about it with stars in her eyes, looking at me in a way she used to—for a split second. It was time for her to know. I just hadn’t told her because I didn’t want it to come out like I was bragging. Either way, I’m glad that she’s got some close friends, even if they do blurt out my secrets.

This morning, she, Maci, and Paige went to get pedicures and breakfast. I know she misses my sister, but I’m glad she’s found her place among the true MVPs of the Shark family—the wives.

I hope she can be in that group one day. Right now, it’s like every day is the movieGroundhog Day. I never know what it’ll bring, but it always ends up being the same. But someday, I hope she’s healed enough to give me a shot.

“Love you too. Bye,” she says cheerfully.

Soon, I hear her footsteps heading down the hallway. Storm’s tail begins to wag before he jumps up to meet her just as she walks into the kitchen.

“Ijust talked to my mom. Remember how I told you they went to Boston last week for Dad’s scans and bloodwork?”

“Yeah,” I say, quickly shooting out of the chair to walk to her. “What did he find out, Firefly?”

“The chemo and radiation are doing what they’re supposed to be doing, and his tumors have shrunk significantly,” she says, damn near sobbing.

Then, her entire face lights up, right to her eyes. Her cheeks swell with happiness, and my heart fucking explodes with joy just at the sight alone.

For a moment, I see the girl I knew before. Before the world took all of her happiness away.

I slide my hands to her waist and lift her up, making her squeal and wrap her arms around my neck.

“Gem, that’s amazing!” I kiss the top of her head over and over again.

“I know!” She moves her hands upward so that they rest on the sides of my face. “I’ve been so angry with him for what he did to us. But I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.” She brings her face closer, her eyes dancing between mine.

I want to kiss her so fucking bad, but I don’t know if it would be the right thing to do. The only time she seems to want to be intimate is during sex. Before I can think about it much more, she kisses me.

I slide my hand to her cheek, kissing her before I pull back.

“Gem, I love kissing you. I’d kiss you all day, every day, if I could.” I keep my arms wrapped around her body. “But I don’t want to ever take advantage of the state you’re in or for you to feel like I am.”

I don’t know what I expect her reaction to be—besides maybe rolling her eyes or telling me she’s fine. That seems to be her thing—downplaying everything, even when it’s obvious to everyone around her that she’s not all right.

Instead of any of that, she quickly presses her lips against mine again.

“I told you I loved you a few nights before you left Maine, when I was just seventeen and you were eighteen. You didn’t say it back, and that’s okay.” She blurts the words out.

I stare at her in complete confusion, wondering why she’s bringing this all up now.

“But I meant it when I said it. And I mean it now too.” She dips her forehead to mine. “I love you. I loved you when we were scrawny kids. I loved you when we were awkward, immature teenagers. I loved you the night we got too drunk and slept together. And I love you now, as a mature, grown man who has truly become the best version of himself. Being patient with me and becoming a goddamn doughnut-giving angel.” She sniffles through a laugh. “I have loved every single form of you, Smith Sawyer. And I always will.” More tears well in her pretty blue eyes. “Even in the times when I told myself I hated you, I knew I never could.”

One of my biggest regrets is not saying it back and leaving her to believe I didn’t love her all those years ago.

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