Page 59 of Fool Me Once

“Is that a good thing?” She turns her head toward me, seeming regretful. “Sorry, babe. I hope that wasn’t rude. I just … I spent the past few years of my life suffering inside, yet not wanting to show anyone that I was in pain. My whole life, I’d wanted to be everybody’s ray of sunshine, and one day, I just snapped. The truth is, that’s not sustainable. We can’t always just live for others.” She pats my arm. “I don’t want anyone I care about to feel that way, and I hope you know I’m here for you and you can talk to me.”

I feel like I’d be cheating on my best friend if I talked to anyone else in depth about the things that kept me up at night. Saylor is my ride or die,and even she doesn’t know everything. And Smith—that man has turned his life upside down and knows the bare minimum, simply because I can’t stand the thought of how he’d look at me if he knew the whole truth.

But with Paige, it’s different because I haven’t known her forever. She didn’t know me when I was at my very best, and I guess that makes me feel more comfortable with opening up to her about the dark shit.

“The other day, you and Poppy asked me what had brought me back to Maine, and I lied and said I’d moved back to be closer to my family.” I can’t bear to look at her, so I just stare straight ahead and let Storm lead the way. “The truth is, my ex-fiancé, Richie, was a very bad man, and I fled California to get away from him.”

“The bruise and cut on your face at Friendsgiving … those weren’t from a car accident, were they?” Her voice grows heavy with emotion.

“No,” I utter. “Now, I’m here, but I still don’t feel like I’m where I am supposed to be. No matter what I do or where I go, it’s like I’m lost. It’s like he stripped away every single thing that brought me joy. My only saving grace is Smith—who, by the way, is fake dating me because he thinks it’ll keep me safe from Richie—and yet I continue to keep him at arm’s length because I know I’m not good enough for him.”

“Do you think that because … you were told that?” she whispers. “Did your ex-fiancé tell you that you weren’t good enough?”

“That was probably one of the nicer things he said.” I attempt to laugh it off, but it comes out strained. “I just don’t want to be stuck like this forever. Feeling like this.”

“And you won’t,” she says truthfully. She stops in her tracks and grabs my hand. “Do you love Smith? Or is it all just for show and safety?”

“I have loved him since I was in second grade.”

The moment the words are out there, she smiles.

“But up here just isn’t right anymore.” I point to my temple, tears filling my eyes. “And he deserves someone whole and … normal.”

“Nobody is whole—that’s unrealistic. And I promise, no one wants to be normal, Gemma.” She smiles, squeezing my hand. “Normal is boring.”

Something about Paige warms my soul and brings me peace. She’s calm and sweet, careful with her words, and a total empath.

Squeezing her hand back, I release it and wipe my eyes. “Enough about me. It’s time to talk about you.”

She grows nervous but shrugs, her lips turning up. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything,” I say honestly. “I just told you my deep, dark secret. Now, it’s your turn.”

Taking a breath, she pushes her shoulders back, and we begin walking again.

“All right, fair is fair.” She tucks her blonde hair behind her ear and sighs. “I’m sure you heard me and Poppy talking in Tampa, and it’s no secret or anything, but … Kolt and I tried to have a baby for years, and I let it take over my entire life. In turn, it led us to separate for a year and a half.” She swallows. “I recognize the look on your face and the fake smile on your lips. You’re exhausted, yet you want everyone to think you’re great. I’ve always been the same way.” She nudges my side. “It’s our people-pleasing little hearts, I suppose.”

I let her words sink in. Even though I was already aware of a lot of what she told me, it’s different, hearing it directly from her when it’s only us talking.

“But now? I mean, you’re back. And you and Kolt seem stronger than ever.”

I tuck my hands into my coat pockets, pulling the leash along with it. December in Maine could be worse, but the wind today is damn cold on my exposed skin.

“We’re figuring it out together. I’m trying to just … go with the flow—even though, you’ll find out, I am not that sort of girl. At all.” She shrugs her slender shoulders. “I don’t know what life has in store for Kolt and me, but after all we’ve been through, I just know I want us to be together for it.”

Tears fill my eyes because what a beautiful, big love they share.

I stop and throw my arms around her. “Thank you, Paige.”

“For what, babe?” she says against my shoulder, hugging me back.

“For reminding me that I’m not the only one going through some shit. And that I need to stop acting like I am.” I give her one last squeeze before pulling back, keeping my hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye. “I hope every dream you and Kolt have comes true because if anyone deserves a fairy tale … it’s you, my friend.”

Her lashes are soon soaked as tears roll from her eyes. “Now, you’remaking me cry.” She sniffles. “And it’s cold out today; my lashes are totally going to freeze.”

We both laugh. Even though I was devastated when Saylor left because I thought I was losing the only friend I had, I’ve gained friends from the Sharks family. And they really are one in a million.

“You know, I can see why you love him,” she adds. “Did you know, weekly, he goes to a local bakery, buys out their entire selection, and takes it to the homeless shelter?” Her eyes widen, and she beams. “Not only that, but he actually sits with the people and chats with them. And he does it all, hoping that word doesn’t get out. He doesn’t do it for publicity. He does it because he wants to.”

---