Page 33 of Fool Me Once

She spins around, her hair hitting her face. “Did you still think that when you heard me crying all those nights after he left, Dad? What about when I got so depressed that I didn’t want to eat anything? Did you still believe it then?” With every passing word, she’s less sad and angrier. “What about when I threw myself at the first guy who said he loved me because I was trying to fix what Smith had broken and ended up with a fucking monster?” She points at him. “What about then? Did you still think you’d made the right choice?”

Without his cane, it’s obviously hard for Will to keep his balance, and his legs wobble slightly. The way his mouth opens, it’s clear he has so much to say to his daughter, but she won’t let him.

“Gem,” I say, nodding toward her old man, “I agree that how things went down is messed up. But your dad is not well, and right now, this isn’t what either of you needs.”

I’ve always wanted to tell Will Jones to fuck himself after what he did.And yet, in this moment, I can’t stand seeing the dude getting screamed at. Even if that’s exactly what he deserves.

“You left because he’d told you to?” she whispers through a grimace. “You’re a coward, Smith. That’s what you are.”

“I’m sorry,” I utter because it’s the only thing I can think of to say.

I am a coward. I’m a fucking pussy for letting him push me out of her life. I know that, but she came here tonight and shared shit that she had been keeping inside for a long time. I can’t let this night end this way.

“I don’t care,” she growls, taking a few steps backward toward the stairs. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Gem,” I say, standing just as she spins and rushes up the stairs.

Slowly, Will sinks back down onto the love seat with a pained look on his face. Only I don’t think it’s his cancer bringing him agony, but instead his past choices.

“I’ll talk to her.” Lori starts toward the stairs, but I hold my hand out and stop her.

“Can I try?” I throw it out there, unsure how her mom is going to respond.

She looks me up and down curiously for a moment before, finally, she gives me the slightest nod. “Okay.”

I can’t stand the thought of sitting down, so instead, I pace back and forth in my room, throwing a hand into my hair and pulling slightly in frustration.

Every time I have a slightly normal day, something shitty comes out of nowhere, fucking it all up.

I caught enough of Dad and Smith’s conversation to hear my dad admit that he’d pushed Smith out of my life.

This whole time, it wasn’t me or something wrong with who I was that made him leave.

It was my dad. Myownfather had sabotaged my first true love.

The door creaks open a tiny bit, and I don’t have to even look to know it’s Smith. Gradually, he steps inside my room, but I keep on pacing because, frankly, I can’t stop.

“I’m sorry, Gem,” he whispers, closing the door behind him. “I’m really, really sorry.”

When moments go by and I’ve said nothing, he takes a few soft steps toward me.

“Talk to me, please,” he pleads, keeping his voice gentle yet deliberate. “Yell at me. Call me any name in the book. Anything, Gem. I’ll take it.”

Stopping, I glare at him, throwing a hand up. “Why do you keep doing that shit?” I hiss. “Since I’ve been back, you’ve pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy, and I don’t get it. That isn’t you. You’re usually kind of a fucking asshole, Smith.”

That seems to surprise him.

“You’re right; that is usually me,” he admits. “But that’s not what you need, is it? You don’t need me being the jealous guy or the dude with a short fuse and a cocky attitude.”

He takes another step toward me, crowding my space, and yet I don’t step back.

“I just want to be what you need, but you won’t talk to me, Firefly. You won’t tell me what I can do to help you.”

Softly, his hands cup my cheeks, and he looks down at me. “If I could go back in time and be man enough to tell your dad to fuck himself and that I wasn’t leaving you—ever—I would.” He stops, closing his lips for a second. “But I can’t do that. All I can do is live with my decision and do whatever I can to make it right now.”

“It’ll never be right,” I whisper. “I don’t trust you.”

“You don’t trust anyone,” he bites back. “But I think you’re lying, Gem.” His voice softens, and he brings his face a little closer to mine. “I think you do trust me. And I promise you, I will never ever make you regret it.”

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