Page 30 of Fool Me Once

Seeing my dad when we got here was hard. He’s always been one of the strongest men I know, and I don’t think I expected him to look so … frail. And when I hugged him, it was even more of an eye-opener that he’s struggling.

I should be living here, helping while he doesn’t feel good. Instead, I’m shacking up with my ex, messing up his life by bringing my box full of fuckedupness.

My parents watch me, waiting for me to say what I came here to say. Meanwhile, Smith patiently sits at the end of the couch. I sort of wish he would hold my hand again, but I know my parents wouldn’t understand.

“I know you both have loved Richie since the first time you met him,” I whisper, my voice weak but clear. “I know, in your minds, I was living in California with the love of my life, spending my days in complete bliss, planning the wedding of my dreams. I know you thought that because … well, it’s what I’d led you to believe.” I look down at Storm, who is laying on the floor next to me as I speak.

I’m not sure why I can’t look directly at them; they are my parents, for fuck’s sake. I should be comfortable enough to make eye contact with them while I spill my secrets. Only, because I’mme, that’s not the case.

“What’s the truth, baby?” my mom says, the emotion in her voice palpable. “You can tell us anything. Always.”

I don’t realize I’m rocking slightly until Smith reaches over and puts his hand over mine. I lift my eyes to his, and he nods his head, the corner of his lips turning up, as if he’s telling me it’s okay.

“Three weeks after Richie proposed to me, he hit me for the very firsttime.” My vision blurs with tears, so I squeeze my eyes shut to stop more from flowing. “He told me he was sorry and promised that it would never happen again. He said he had lost his temper and that he felt terrible, but that he loved me more than anything. He begged for my forgiveness.” My body rocks harder back and forth on the couch, but I can’t stop it, so I don’t try.

“A month after that, I took too long in the grocery store. He accused me of flirting with the cashier, and he smashed my head against the car window. That’s why I have this.” I pause, pointing at the subtle scar above my eyebrow.

Smith’s body radiates with anger next to me, and even though it’s just our hands touching, I can feel his blood pulsating.

“Again, he told me he was so sorry and that he loved me so much. He told me that—” My chest shakes from crying, but I force myself to carry on. “He told me that he couldn’t imagine losing me and that he just loses his mind sometimes.”

“Do you need to take a break, Gem?” Smith whispers.

When I crack my eyes open, I realize he’s closer than he was before and is now sitting directly beside me.

“No,” I say, shaking my head quickly. “I have to—I need to get this out.”

“Okay,” he whispers, squeezing my hand. “I’m right here.”

Finally, I dare to look at my parents. My mother’s mascara is a mess around her eyes, and her lips tremble. My dad looks like he’s going to be sick, but I don’t miss the anger in his eyes.

“From there on out, the abuse just kept happening. I felt like I was on a carousel that wouldn’t stop spinning. I couldn’t get off of it, and I couldn’t make it slow down. I was just … trapped.” The next words are hard to say, and I know my parents are going to feel betrayed—no doubt. “I dropped out of college because he’d convinced me that I didn’t need a degree.”

Speechless. That’s what they are. At least for a few seconds before my dad swallows and forces words out.

“So, when you said that you didn’t want to walk in the graduation ceremony because it would be too crowded, it was because you never really got your degree?”

Shame floods my body, and I have to look away and give him a simple nod because it’s the only thing my body will allow.

Before they can ask anything further about college, I pull my hand from Smith’s and wrap my arms around myself.

“On the last night, before I ran away”—my voice cracks, and my throat burns—“he beat me to the point where I thought I was going to die. But somehow, I gathered my strength and hit him on the head, and I got out of there.” I bury my face in my hands. “I called the police, and they came and arrested him seconds before he made it to my neighbor’s house, where I was hiding.”

I close my eyes, my heart beating in pure fear as I think back to the moment I heard his truck roar to life and knew he was coming for me.

“I came to Maine because I didn’t know where else to go. But the truth is, you both know how rich his family is. And I’m sure he was out of jail before my plane even left the tarmac.”

I lift my eyes to my parents, looking at them through tear-soaked lashes.

“He’s going to come for me. And I’m worried he’s going to come here first.” I’m hysterical now, and even through the tears and snot, I have to get this off my chest because it’s been keeping me up at night.

“I’m scared he’s going to hurt you guys,” I rasp. “And I’d never forgive myself if he did.”

Within seconds, my mother is off the love seat and forcing Smith to move over so that she’s beside me. She pulls my head against her, kissing the top of my hair. “Shh … I promise everything is going to be okay.”

Her chest begins to shake as she cries harder. “I’m so sorry, Gemma. I should have known. You’re my daughter, and I should have known.”

“I didn’t want to tell anyone.” As I say the words, disgrace fills my body. “I was ashamed.”

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