Page 75 of A Life Betrayed

Mathias stared at the man fighting for him. Rayan had nothing to gain and everything to lose. And they’d lost so much already.

Mathias clenched his jaw, and the anger that had clouded his vision began to thin. He moved forward and raised a hand to grip Rayan’s chin, his fingers digging into the flesh of his cheeks.

Mathias yanked Rayan’s face upward and leaned in, barely able to keep his voice even. “Don’t cross me.”

But even as he spoke the words, they felt less like a threat and more like a plea.I couldn’t fucking bear it…

Rayan reached for him, and his hand trembled as it gripped the back of Mathias’s jacket. Mathias knew then how worried he’d been, waiting here for him to show. He stepped back and shoved Rayan roughly onto the bed, the lingering fury morphing into something else, heady but no less volatile. Mathias wanted the heat of Rayan’s skin beneath his fingers. He wanted to make Rayan feel the turmoil surging through his blood—a different way of getting even.

He threw off his jacket and pulled Rayan’s shirt over his head then moved to free him from his pants. Rayan’s hands worked the buckle of his belt as Mathias tugged at the buttons on hisshirt and let it slip from his shoulders to the floor. Soon there was nothing between them. Mathias crushed Rayan beneath him on the bed and felt Rayan’s arms encircle his waist. With their faces almost touching, a sudden stillness fell over them as though one final barrier existed, a soreness still fresh. Then Mathias leaned down to graze Rayan’s lips, and the man let out a soft gasp—a last gulp of air before diving underwater. Rayan opened his mouth and pressed against him with a fierceness that reminded Mathias of that first time in the rain, when something had passed through them like lightning. He kissed him back, letting in the hot wetness of Rayan’s tongue and letting go of the fear.

They broke away, breathing hard. Rayan reached up to place his hands on Mathias’s shoulders and pushed him onto his back. Rayan straddled his legs and lowered his head to bring Mathias’s cock to his lips, refusing to look away as he took him into his mouth. Mathias masked a groan as Rayan stared him down, his brown eyes dull with lust.

There was something devotional about the way Rayan sucked cock—like a fucking religious experience, his tongue worshipping every inch. Mathias grabbed a fistful of Rayan’s black hair and let him set the pace, yielding to the heat of his mouth as he moved languidly along his shaft. He struggled to stay vigilant. It was too easy to give in to the sensation of Rayan’s hand as it circled the base of his cock. Mathias’s eyes were drawn to his face—every line of it memorized—anticipating each flutter of desire that crossed Rayan’s features. He tempered the flight of his pulse as the pressure built at the base of his spine.

Not yet ready to be undone, Mathias slipped a hand beneath Rayan’s jaw to still him. He rolled Rayan onto his stomach and spread his thighs. Rayan reached an arm behind him, and Mathias gripped his wrist and pulled him taut. He brought his other hand to Rayan’s mouth and guided two fingers past thewilling confines of his lips. Mathias removed them, wet and slick, and reached back to ease one finger then another inside as Rayan buried his face into the mattress to hide the moan. If Mathias were a patient man, he would deal to Rayan like this, far more in control with his fingers than his cock. Capable of unending endurance, he would sit back while he reduced Rayan to a keening mess. But every shudder of Rayan’s body only served to fuel the growing thrum between Mathias’s legs, leaving him achingly hard and incapable of patience.

He removed his fingers, and Rayan tensed, glancing over his shoulder to reveal the hunger in his eyes. Rayan flipped onto his back and gazed up at him.

“Say it,” Mathias demanded.

Rayan’s chest rose and fell, his lips parting. “Fuck me,” he said, his voice thick.

The request made Mathias pause—its directness, the need that permeated each word, and the way Rayan expected him to fulfill it. This was still new—not the wanting but the realization that what Rayan wanted, only Mathias could give. He spat into his hand and ran it along the length of his cock then lifted Rayan’s legs and moved between his thighs. Mathias looked down, taking him in—the swollen lips, the delicate curve of his dark eyelashes. He eased forward, and Rayan’s eyebrows knitted together as he let out a sharp breath. Wrapping his arms around him, Mathias buried his face into Rayan’s neck and inhaled him into his lungs. There had been a moment, as security had led him away, when he thought he’d never again know that smell.

Mathias entered him slowly, inch by inch. He was in no rush, his movements controlled, wanting to draw this out and make it last. Mathias lowered his head so their foreheads touched, watching the pleasure flicker across Rayan’s face as he cored him.

“All of you,” Rayan demanded, threading his fingers through Mathias’s hair.

Mathias pulled out then pushed back in to the hilt, stemming the shiver of desire as a strangled growl tore from Rayan’s throat. The sound spurred something inside him, his arousal flaring, taking over the rational brain, his blood pulsing hot in his veins. He raised himself onto his hands and began to thrust. Rayan let out a grunt of surprise. Mathias fucked him hard, needing the man to know he was bested. Because standing alone at the airport, he’d been sure Rayan had bested him.

Mathias reached down to run his hand along Rayan’s straining cock, and Rayan gripped his wrist to stop him. “Don’t… I’m going to—”

Mathias smirked, his breath quickening at the sight of Rayan’s obvious undoing. “That’s the point.”

“Not yet…” Rayan groaned. “I want you to—”

Capturing Rayan’s lips with his own, Mathias pushed his mouth open, and the man’s arms tightened around his back, nails digging into Mathias’s shoulders. He withdrew completely then plunged deep, Rayan letting out a guttural cry as he clenched around him, and Mathias felt the rapid unfurling of his own release. It stole his breath, and he pulled Rayan to him as they came together. Mathias held him there until the tension left their bodies.

After, Rayan lay on his side against him, his head resting on Mathias’s shoulder and one arm curved across his stomach. “You can blame me,” he said softly. “For leaving.”

“Where’s the sense in that?” Mathias retorted. He’d naively assumed leaving was his choice to make, only to discover the truth was far more complicated. Mathias kneaded the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I should have seen it coming—Jacques, Giovanni. All the signs were there. I was too distracted to notice.” He reached over and ran his fingers along the side ofRayan’s face and down the smooth flank of his chest. “That life was easier when you weren’t a factor.”

Rayan’s expression turned reflective, and Mathias let out a slow breath.

“This… you… It’s meant to feel like this?” Mathias had no frame of reference for these feelings. He knew what it was not to be loved, but loving was still an alien experience. It left him exposed to everything he’d worked so hard to barricade himself against.

“Like what?” Rayan asked.

Mathias grimaced, his thoughts returning to the interrogation room and the moment Allen had blindsided him with Rayan’s involvement. He’d felt like he’d been sliced open and his guts scooped out onto the floor. “Painful.”

Rayan took a moment before answering. “Sometimes.” He shifted against Mathias, his skin slick with the remnants of their shared pleasure. “But would you trade in the rest not to feel it?”

Mathias stilled. He had done so before—traded in a lifetime of good not to feel the pain.

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

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