Page 83 of A Life Chosen

It had to be the alcohol that was having this effect on him, or more specifically, the lack of it—he hadn’t had a drink in days. Or perhaps the fact that they’d barely left Rayan’s bed, his body so easily trained. Whatever the reason, this place robbed him of his edge, his mind quietened and appetite indulged.

Mathias pulled himself up on one elbow, staring down at the sleeping man beside him. Rayan’s eyelids fluttered ever so slightly, his lips parting as he took another unconscious breath. It would be a shame to wake him, but there were more pressing concerns. Mathias drew his hand under the covers, reaching for Rayan’s cock. He’d barely managed to get his fist around it when Rayan shuddered awake, his body tensing, an arm raised instinctively to ward off the unexpected intrusion.

Mathias rolled over so he was above him, biting back a groan as his own erection ground against Rayan’s thigh. Rayan looked up, eyes foggy with sleep. He was about to speak when Mathias lowered his head and took him into his mouth. Instead of words, Rayan only managed a hiss as he sucked air in through his teeth.

Mathias found himself compelled by the man’s inability to hide the pleasure on his face. In his life working for the family, his former second had proven a master at disguising his emotions—even from Mathias. But pinned down in bed, with every sensation reflected in the tremor of his lips, the roll of his brown eyes, Rayan was intoxicating to watch.

Rayan pushed back, but Mathias would not relent, instead taking him deeper, relishing how he arched into him with a moan.

“Mathias…” he murmured, voice catching.

Releasing him, Mathias brought his face up. He let Rayan brush his neck with his lips and push his mouth open with his tongue. Mathias pressed down on his thighs, spreading him. Rayan groaned as he opened him, pushing his cock forward inch by inch. Reaching up, he wrapped his fingers around Mathias’s neck, digging into the flesh. Mathias barely felt it. All his concentration was focused on holding himself back.

Jesus, that feeling—impossibly tight, the slow surrender. When he was in to the hilt, Mathias shifted so they lay face-to-face, Rayan’s legs hooking instinctively around his back. Rayan’s eyes were lidded, his breathing shallow, and his chin tilted toward him, making it easy for Mathias to capture his mouth with his own. And then Mathias began to move.

The pressure around his neck tightened, and he watched as Rayan bit down hard on his lip, his face twisting. Every thrust tested Mathias’s self-control. He’d started too near the edge to play games and found himself brushing dangerously close to release. He tempered his movements, pulling out until just the head of his cock remained. Pushing forward, he was rewarded by the shudder of Rayan’s body beneath him.

“Fuck… I’m…” Rayan muttered, a small pool of precum gathering on his belly.

Mathias reached for the man’s cock and guided it through his fist in time with his strokes. Rayan’s grip on him tightened, a growl tearing from his throat. And then he tensed, his face barely keeping up with the rest of his body as he shot ribbons across his chest, Mathias milking him all the way down.

Palming the wet head of Rayan’s cock, he pushed deeper into him, his own release seizing him. The air stalled in his lungs as if he’d momentarily lost the ability to breathe. He lowered his head, fists gripping the sheets as the current passed through him. Why was it only like this with Rayan? This man alone possessing the ability to strip him to his very foundation?

Coming back to himself, he looked down to see Rayan staring at him, a strange wonder in his eyes. He pulled Mathias close, his kisses soft but urgent,searching and claiming, prolonging the heady high of pleasure that enveloped them both. Mathias lifted a hand and ran it through Rayan’s hair, longer now that he had abandoned the clean cut he’d maintained since arriving at the Collections office. It fell about his head, tousled, unruly, begging to be wound through Mathias’s fingers.

Holding Rayan’s face in his palm, Mathias scanned it for everything that had changed in the time they’d been apart—skin darker, eyes brighter, dark circles gone. It pained him to realize Rayan was doing better here than he ever had in Montreal.

“Quintino,” Rayan marveled, reaching for his hand and twirling the signet ring on his little finger, which was still new, still strange. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. “You never made me take an oath.”

“You didn’t have to,” Mathias said.

“You didn’t want me to.”

Mathias was silent.

Rayan tilted his head. “So I could leave?”

Mathias withdrew, rolling onto his back with a sigh.Is that why?All those years of feeling responsible for his involvement…

“That time you asked if I was happy,” Rayan started, propping himself up on his side. “Maybe I wasn’t.”

Mathias raised an eyebrow. “So you lied?”

He smiled hesitantly. “Not a lie. I just wasn’t overly familiar with the concept.”

“And you are now?”

Rayan looked down at him, grazing Mathias’s cheek with his fingers. “Today, yes. Tomorrow? Who knows,” he said, eyes sad. “Maybe you’ll still be here.”

They existed in a parallel plane—the apartment was a sanctuary removed from the world, with reality encroaching outside. Mathias was in Paris, attending to a family matter—that was the excuse he’d given before leaving the city, the lie that held him momentarily aloft. But as each day passed, it grew thinner under the weight of the responsibilities awaiting him back in Montreal.

Somewhere deep inside, Mathias was lured by this lazy life and the idea that he could live it with this man by his side. Being half a world away hadn’t lessened the sting he felt without Rayan. But he couldn’t pretend to be someone he was not. He was a stranger here—a stranger to himself.

“Come on.” Mathias strode into the bedroom, already dressed, and sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes.

Rayan was still tangled in the sheets, lounging in the remnants of pleasure, sufficiently laid to waste. He frowned, curious. Up until that moment, Mathias had shown no interest in leaving the apartment.

“Where are we going?”

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