“Nonsense!” she says a little too loud for The Library, and I look up to see diners near us glaring in our direction.
“Shhhh! Keep your voice down,” I whisper. “Everyone in this entire place doesn’t need to know what a mess my love life is.”
Jessie leans forward, and in a low voice says, “Okay, okay. So they talk? So what? Talking doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does with a guy like Ronan,” I say as I push the croutons in my salad around the bowl. “He’s not like other guys. If I was with his brother there, then fine, conversation wouldn’t mean anything. I can’t imagine Marius King spends much time talking at all with women. Ronan is different. He’s thoughtful, and talking to someone shows he cares.”
I don’t say what else I’m thinking. If he’s talking to Sabrina, it’s only a matter of time before he falls for her. It’s who he is.
And I have no way to stop it.
“So you’re just going to give up on the love of your life? Is that it?” Jessie asks sharply, like she’s disappointed in me.
“What else is there to do? I can’t compete with her on looks. I can’t compete with the fact that she has home field advantage.”
“Remember that he loved you for you!” she says too loudly again. This time she realizes her mistake and immediately lowers her voice for the rest of what she has to say. “Kate, you can’t give up. If you care about him, then you have to fight for him.”
Nothing she says is helping. “I love him. I always have. But what does that mean up against someone new and fun? All I am is a memory of who he used to be. She’s the future. I’m the past.”
That finally makes Jessie stop talking, which is for the best since I’m pretty sure I’m going to cry if we keep discussing this. I just have to accept that I can’t compete against Sabrina.
“So what are you going to do? You already said you would go hang out with him again on Monday. Are you bailing on that?”
I nod, sighing as I feel everything slip away. “Yeah. What’s the point of going now? And don’t say at least I could check out Marius and see what he’s up to for you because I’m not going to do that.”
Jessie sits back against the booth and laughs. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that. I have to say, though, if I had any idea Ronan came from such a good looking family, I wouldn’t have given you a hard time about wanting to be with him.”
“Ronan is nothing like that brother.”
“So he isn’t as sexy as all hell with a gorgeous body?”
I roll my eyes at her description of Marius. “Ronan is that, yes.”
“So he’s got money and looks like that brother, who by the way I’m absolutely sure offers a woman toe-curling good times?”
“I’m not talking about this with you anymore. Why don’t you go join Marius and whoever he’s meeting? I’m sure they’d love a third.”
Jessie shakes her head. “That man isn’t available.”
“I think you’re mistaken. Marius King has always been as single as they come. I remember Ronan once saying his girlfriend back when we were dating ruined him for other women.”
But my friend isn’t hearing any of that. Shaking her head, she digs her heels in. “I don’t care who ruined him for what. He’s taken. Everything in his body language practically screams that.”
I shrug, not caring if Marius is or isn’t single. God help the woman who ends up with him. She better enjoy his sense of humor.
For me, there was always only one King I ever wanted.
I guess I better forget about that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Ronan
After Eleanorand I talk about what I’d like her to make for lunch on Monday, I sit alone in the kitchen wishing today was the day Kate was coming over. I should probably tell her how I feel, but every time I think about that, I dismiss it. I’m not the same person I was when we were together before. I want to be with her, but I’m just not sure she wants to be with me.
Lost in thought, I don’t see Marius walk in until he sits down across from me at the kitchen table. He’s smiling like some damn Cheshire cat, which can either mean he’s happy or he plans to bust my balls about something.
“What’s made you so happy this morning? I thought you’d be sleeping in today since I heard you come in pretty late last night.”