Page 15 of Broken King

Unsure whether she’s referring to me or Ronan, I explain, “I said I didn’t know if I could forgive him because of something he did. Now I wish I had never said that.”

“Oh, trust me. He wasn’t like that because you told him how you were feeling a couple years ago. That up there is because he’s angry at the world, angry at what happened, but most of all,angry the accident stole his dreams from him. The job for all of us who care for him is to help him see there’s so much of life still open to him. He just has to look for it.”

“Do you think it would be good if I stay away for a while? I feel like I upset him so much I might have hurt any chances he’ll want to see me again anytime soon.”

Ava and Eleanor exchange glances before Ava says, “I’ll tell you what. Please keep coming to visit. Hopefully, he’ll see you here, and you two can talk again.”

“And I’ll make sure to have goodies whenever you come by,” the housekeeper says, gently patting my arm.

“Thank you. I just want him to get better. Even if we’re never really friends or anything else to one another, I just want Ronan to be happy. I always have.”

Ava nods. “I know. It’s hard now, but I have to believe things are going to get better. I’ll keep trying. Matthias isn’t going to give up either, and I know Eleanor and his other brothers won’t give up. Ronan loved you, Kate. I’d be so happy if you’d come over whenever you want and see us, and if he’s willing to see you, that’s good for both of you. Just give him time.”

“Is he like that when his other friends come to see him?”

I watch as Ava and Eleanor look at each other with sadness. Ava sighs and says, “Nobody’s come to see Ronan in a long time. I think some people visited him in the hospital, but after that, they sort of disappeared. When he first got here, one or two guys came by, but he sent them away. Since then, there’s been nobody.”

Eleanor shakes her head, and I swear she’s trying to fight back tears. “It’s not right. When people are down, that’s when they need others the most.”

How could this be? “Ronan had lots of friends in high school and college. How is it possible nobody cares about what’s happened to him?”

Ava shrugs. “People have their own lives, and when someone tells you to never come back, people tend to listen. He’s got us, his family, and hopefully, Kate, you’ll come by again.”

My emotions can’t stop twisting into tight knots in my stomach after all I’ve heard and seen today. I know Ava’s right that he needs time, but what if my being around makes things worse?

Do I remind him of a time he wants to forget?

“I better go,” I say as I stand to leave. Grabbing my bag, I thank Ava and Eleanor for the wonderful coffee cakes. “I’ll be happy to come over whenever you think is good.”

“That’ll work. Let’s exchange numbers so you know who I am when I text you.”

After we both put one another’s phone numbers into our cell phones, I thank them both again and leave by the kitchen door like I did so many times when I’d be here with Ronan. I loved coming here when we were together. Unlike my house, which always seemed so quiet and reserved, the King house with its five boys, Mr. King, Eleanor, and the staff never had a calm moment. There was always someone coming or going, and when the brothers would all be home at the same time, it was near bedlam.

And I never felt more at home anywhere but here.

As I walk to my car, I turn and look up toward his bedroom windows. The boy I loved sits up there lost in his misery, and I wish more than anything I could do something to help.

When he doesn’t appear in the windows looking out at me after a minute or so, I continue walking to my car while I think back on all the wonderful times Ronan and I had. Until that night he told me he cheated on me, we were happy. I know that. He was my first love, and I was his. We were going to be together forever.

Maybe that was our immaturity talking, but I believed him when he said he’d love me for the rest of time. I’d never metanyone like Ronan, and when we got together, he turned my world upside down. He made me feel special, and I couldn’t imagine life without him.

I settle into the driver’s seat and glance up once more at his windows. If only he and I were together, maybe he wouldn’t have been on that road on New Year’s Eve. Maybe he would have been with me because I wouldn’t have gone to Europe right after Christmas.

So many if onlys and maybes.

CHAPTER SIX

Ronan

I watchKate walk to her car, making sure to hide behind the curtains when she looks up. She looks exactly the same as I remember her. Beautiful and sweet, just like she was when she was mine.

Life after me has been good to her. I wish I could be happy about that, but all I feel is jealousy. I want to be happy like her. Like anyone. I just can’t.

She drives away, leaving me standing in front of my bedroom windows staring out at a sunny day that will be another one I spend in this room. As much as I know Matthias and Ava think they’re helping, I hate this place now. It only serves to remind me of what I used to be, and that’s the last goddamned thing I need to focus on.

On my way back to bed, I catch a glimpse of that picture of me playing shortstop in that game in college where I hit a homerun. Never as great a hitter as I was a fielder, watching that ball sail over the back fence was the greatest feeling in the world.

What I’d give now to feel even half that good.

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