Page 48 of Broken King

“That’s the best drawing I’ve ever made in my life, you know. Things just went downhill from there,” I joke. “I didn’t get the artistic gene, sadly.”

Until recently, if I said that, anyone who knew me would say that I more than made up for it with the athletic gene. Nobody, including Matthias, says that anymore.

For a few seconds, that ugliness that always springs up in me whenever I think about all my dreams coming true and then losing everything that night on the Taconic threatens to ruin my mood. I fight it, though, because I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

I’m tired of being unhappy.

“So what’s going on? Why were you lurking outside in the hallway?” Matthias asks, and I hear the fear and worry under his words come through loud and clear.

He has every reason to feel that way. For the past six months, nothing about me has put a smile on his face. I’d like to change that today, although I don’t know if he’ll feel anywhere as pleased as I do that I’m having lunch with Kate tomorrow.

“I wasn’t lurking, per se. Just taking my time deciding if I wanted to bother you. I know you’re busy with work, and I didn’t want to interrupt anything important.”

My brother listens as I hedge, nodding as a slow smile lifts the corners of his mouth. “Okay, well, I’m not doing anything that can’t be interrupted. What’s up?”

I guess I can’t stall anymore. Well, here’s to hoping Eleanor was right.

“I’d like to use the carriage house’s patio for lunch tomorrow.”

He looks confused for a few seconds and then shrugs. “Okay. Can I ask why?”

“Because Kate and I are having lunch together, and I’d like it to be just the two of us.”

That sounds like this lunch we’re having is far more important than it actually is. It’s not really a big deal, but his eyes immediately get huge, and he stands up like he’s going to run around the house to tell everyone else who lives here what’s happening tomorrow.

“Really? Well, yes, of course. Use the carriage house. I can go down there tonight after work and straighten it up for you so you don’t have to stay outside. I’ve got brushes and pencils all over the place, to say nothing of my easels, but I can put them all away.”

I hold up my hand to stop him before he gets too carried away. “No, it’s okay. That’s your place. Keep it just like you want. I only want to use the patio. Eleanor was the one who suggested it. She thought it would be more private than the kitchen here or out by the pool.”

“Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind. I can have it all straightened up in no time. In fact, Ava would probably love that since every time she comes down to see me when I’mthere she mentions how much of a mess it is. So lunch with Kate? That’s good! That’s really good.”

He stops and then asks, “It’s good, right? I’m not seeing a ton of excitement in you right now, but it seems like it’s a good thing you two are having lunch together.”

“It is,” I say, tempering my emotions about what may happen with her tomorrow.

I’m out of practice and don’t know how to act around people much anymore. That comes from hiding out first in my apartment after getting out of the hospital before hiding out in my childhood bedroom since I got here two months ago.

“Well, I’m glad. You’ve put a smile on this very tired father’s face today, Ronan. Thank you for that.”

Happy to change the subject from my plans tomorrow, I smile and ask, “Is Matty still having a hard time sleeping through the night?”

My brother lets out the heaviest sigh I’ve heard in a while and sits back down in his office chair. “Not only him but now Theo. They seem to be feeding off one another’s sleeplessness at night now. I told Ava maybe we should try not putting them down for naps during the day and see if that helps, but she doesn’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Probably because that’s the only time she gets to rest, Matthias. She’s with those kids all the time, and I know Sabrina is helping, but it’s still a lot. Give her a break.”

He looks at me oddly for a moment and then sighs again. “You know, I hadn’t thought of it that way. Probably because my brain is only half working these days. You’re right. Still, we need to do something, or one or both of us is going to go crazy without enough sleep.”

I don’t think a Benadryl joke would be good at this moment since my brother’s ability to judge humor is likely not what itneeds to be for him to get a laugh from that, so I smile and say, “I’m sure you guys will figure it out. Mom and Dad did.”

“God, I have no idea how they did it. Maybe Theo and I slept through the night from the moment they brought us home from the hospital?”

That gets him a laugh from me. “I highly doubt it. Didn’t Mom used to say he was colicky until he was like two or something?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Matthias shakes his head. “God, don’t let that happen with Matty. I don’t think I’ll make it. I really don’t.”

“You’ll get through this, and then you guys will have another one when you forget how rough having two within two years was. That’s how it works with parents, I think. At least it must have worked that way in our family.”

The look of horror that settles into his expression tells me he’s not ready for a third. Since Ava wants a girl, he better get ready, though.

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