Page 86 of Rainbow Kisses

I shoved open the car door and slammed it shut behind me. Anger and regret and disappointment and a whole raft of other shit rolled around in my stomach, making me want to scream.

Because I’d been such a fucking idiot.

And now I was going to pay for it.

I walked to her door, knocked and waited with a lump in my throat. When the door opened, the smile on her face nearly cut me off at the knees.

“Hey, come in.” She turned, heading back toward the kitchen. “I’ve got to turn off the stove before I boil all the water away. I swear…”

“Rain, we need to talk.”

TWENTY-TWO

Rain

I’d knownthis day was coming. Honestly, I had. But somehow, I thought maybe it would all work out for Brian and me.

You know, like the ending of a Hallmark movie where whatever conflict the couple had disappeared like smoke a minute before the credits roll. Brian’s sister would miraculously be cured and all better, and she and Maddy would move back to Allentown or wherever, and Brian would stay here and…

I was an idiot.

Brian and I sat on the couch in my living room, He stared at me like he wanted me to get angry. Waiting for me to blow up.

He should know me better than that. When things don’t work out, I don’t melt down. I see it for what it is. A miscalculation on my part. Of course he was leaving. He’d never mentioned staying after his sister’s program was over. And I had never asked.This was totally on me.

“So you’re going back to Allentown.”

It wasn’t a question, because I knew that’s where he was going.

His jaw tightened and I saw frustration in the flat line of his mouth and the clench of his hands on his thighs. Did he want me to get angry? Cry? Beg him not to go?

Wasn’t going to happen because I totally understood why he had to leave.

Even if I’d hoped…maybe…there might be some way?—

“I made a promise to Maddy.” Each word sounded like a vow. And an apology that he didn’t want to give. “I promised Maddy I’d be there for her. And she needs me now. My sister needs me.”

And what about me?The words sat on the tip of my tongue, but I wouldn’t say them. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be that selfish brat who melted down when I didn’t get what I wanted. I was a goddamn adult and sometimes you were disappointed.

Yeah, that was a good word. Disappointed. Definitely not heartbroken.

I nodded, my expression carefully constructed to be supportive. Definitely not clingy. I wasn’t clingy.

“Then you need to keep that promise. They need you.”

His frustration grew, probably at the steady sound of my voice. “The rehab helped line up a new job for her in Allentown. A better job. She starts next week.”

“That’s great. And what about you? Do you have a job lined up?”

Damn, I wished I could do that one over. It sounded a little edgy. Maybe a little pissed off. Nope, not gonna do that either.

Now he looked guilty, though that didn’t make any sense.

“I called the lumberyard yesterday. They always have openings.”

Ah, and that’s why the guilt. He’d known yesterday and hadn’t told me.

I forced a smile and hoped it looked somewhat natural. “Well, I hope everything works out for you and Lindsey and Maddy. You all deserve to?—”

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