Page 45 of Rainbow Kisses

Okay, that was a fucking low blow, and I was getting pissed. “Ididfucking care. Idocare. Don’t give me that shit. I know you’re pissed at me, and I get it. But I know how hard it is to dig out of that hole. I know most people who fall down that hole can’t get themselves out of it. They need help.”

“Did you even stop to think that I was getting help in my own way? You never even gave me the benefit of the doubt that I could turn myself around.”

“You were gonna lose your place on the team. You know that, right?”

Rebel’s chin lifted in defiance. “I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

I wanted to throw my stick on the ice, grab him by the shoulders, and shake him. “Jesus, you’re still so damn stubborn. You know what? I don’t give a shit if you still hate me. You’re still fucking here and that’s all I fucking care about. You can hold your fucking grudge, Reb. Because it doesn’t matter. You’re stillhere. You didn’t fucking end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Hate me all you want.”

He shook his head, eyes still so cold. “I don’t hate you. I just don’t fucking trust you. And I don’t want my sister to get burned by you next. So whatever relationship you think you’re going to have with her, you’re not.”

It stung. It shouldn’t have, because I’d known exactly what he was going to say about me and Rain. But it still felt like he’d stuck a knife in my side. And my anger continued to rise.

“There’s nothing going on with me and Rain. She’s been great with Maddy, and Maddy seems to like her. Maddy’s my focus right now. You know her mom’s in rehab, right? She’s gonna be there for weeks. Maddy won’t have her mom for more than a month. She needs all the help she can get. Every friend she can find. Your sister’s amazing with her.”

Rebel’s expression finally showed cracks, but only for a couple seconds. “Rain doesn’t need you fucking up her life like you fucked up mine.”

Okay, now I was fucking pissed. “Your life doesn’t seem very fucked up. In fact, you’ve got a pretty fucking sweet deal here. You don’t have to worry if you’re going to be traded or get a contract for the next season. You have a safety net a lot of people don’t.”

“So you were jealous? That’s why you ratted me out to my dad?”

I wanted to scream in his face but managed, just barely, to keep it together. “I didn’t fucking rat you out.”

“No, you betrayed my trust.”

“Are you sober?”

His expression didn’t change. “I didn’t have a problem with alcohol, asshole. But you didn’t see anything other than what you wanted to see.”

“Reb, I was there. You were practically drinking yourself into a coma every night.”

“No, you weren’t there. You were already gone. You had no idea what was really going on.”

“We were friends. I fucking cared about what happened to you.”

“I wasn’t fucking drinking myself to death! I had a nervous fucking breakdown, which you would’ve known if you’d been able to see past your own damn drama!”

The words rang out across the empty arena, almost slapping me in the face. Rebel’s cheeks burned with an angry red tinge, and his eyes blazed. And the knot in my gut twisted until I could barely breathe.

“I was drowning,” he continued, “but not for the reasons you thought. And I was getting help, but when you went to my dad, everything blew up again.”

A strange buzz sounded in my ears. “Jesus, Reb, why didn’t you?—”

“Say anything to you? Because you’d already fucked me over. I didn’t think you deserved anything else that I could say. I had my own shit going on. So no, I didn’t fucking explain myself. And when it was my turn to join this team, you fucking left.”

“Because you wouldn’t want me to be here. You would’ve frozen me out, it would’ve affected everyone else around us.”

“Again, maybe you should’ve fucking asked.”

We were both breathing hard, but Rebel’s last statement hadn’t been shouted. It’d been said so calmly, it felt like another knife in my gut. I didn’t know what to say. Because he was right. I’d been blinded by my own shit, and I hadn’t seen the situation as I should have.

Jesus, Iwasthe asshole.

“I’m—”

“Don’t.”

Rebel stopped me with a hand held out in front of him, which I guess I should be glad wasn’t connecting hard with my face. My world had been rocked once again, but this one felt more like a kick to the head instead of the gut.

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