Page 9 of Oblivion

Sebastian’s mom hands me a cocktail, and the nerves that were hampering me on the plane and car settle until it feels easier to become the Sammy I discovered during my time at Kingsacre once again.

Connecting college Sammy with home Samantha is odd, and it almost feels like I’ve created two entirely separate personalities. College Sammy is bold and brash, and I find myself talking about how awful my summer has been, even though I’m not actually sure if I feel that way. Instead of quietly warning Bunny about how crazy Hunter has the potential to be, Iend up loudly telling her about the tracking chips Sebastian and Clay had fitted in their wives without their knowledge.

I drink more than I should, and when we pile into cars and head back to the beach house the guys have all been sharing all summer, I’ve somehow managed to avoid even looking in Evan’s direction while speaking to every other person in the room.

The next day, I spend all morning trying to find the words to tell everyone the decision I’ve come to about my future. But before I can, the conversation turns to wedding plans, dress fittings, and what we intend to do for the rest of the day.

During my time away, I’d almost forgotten how possessive of Starling Sebastian is. But the moment I mention just the girls and I having a girls’ night out at a party, Sebastian immediately shoots down the idea, quickly followed by Hunter descending into a full-blown alpha male hissy fit.

“There is no way you’re getting my wife all dressed up and taking her out to shake her ass for other men. It’s not happening, Sammy, not ever. We can all go out to as many clubs and bars as you want as a group, or you can shake your asses as much as you want at home. But if you try and make her sneak off without my knowledge or permission, I’ll put the house on lockdown and keep all of us inside. It’d take Clay five minutes to change us all to distance learning and even less time to have Dr. Harris come put a tracker in your neck.”

My lips part, and my mouth falls open. I have never heard Hunter speak that way before. Honestly, of all the guys, I’d have said he was the least likely to lose his shit and become and overbearing alphahole, but apparently, I was wrong.

Before I have a chance to speak, he turns to Evan and says, “I told you last night. It’s time to get your woman under control. Don’t make me have to do it.”

“I am not his woman,” I shout, hating Hunter for even insinuating Evan and I are in any way connected.

“Aren’t you?” Evan hisses, closing the distance between us as his feral glare pins me to the spot, daring me to run and give him an excuse to chase me.

“No, I’m not. You made sure of that. I’ll never be yours, Evan. Never,” I yell, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Evan yells, suddenly angry.

“Fuck you, Evan,” I yell back, glad that everyone else is so consumed by their own drama they’re not focused on me or Evan.

An ear-piercing whistle splinters the air, and I cover my ears with my hands, wincing at the sound.

“Enough,” Hunter snarls, turning his furious eyes on me. “Sammy, girls’ nights that involve parties, clubs, or bars are not happening unless me and the guys go too.”

At his words, I feel myself wither a little. I know he doesn’t know why I’m pushing so hard for this, but at his proclamation, I feel the friendships I’ve made drift a little further from my reach.

“My parents want me to move back home,” I blurt a few minutes later, unable to keep the words inside me any longer.

“What? When?” Starling gasps, her eyes filled with shock and unease.

“They have a friend on the admissions committee at Harvard. When I originally applied, I got waitlisted, but their friend has pulled a few strings, and they’ve offered me a transfer starting this fall.” I don’t admit that it’s actually Drew’s dad’s connection that has helped me get the place or that it was Drew’s idea for me to leave Kingsacre in the first place.

I love my friends, but they don’t know me, not really. They only know college Sammy, and this summer has reminded me that just because I can pretend to be someone else, it doesn’t change who I am at my core.

“No.” Truthfully, I’d expected Starling to be the one to protest the most, then ultimately be happy for me. But it’s Sebastian who’s shaking his head.

“Sebastian, you can’t just say no.” I laugh.

When Starling first told me about her and Sebastian’s history, I assumed I’d hate him, but it’s really hard to hate someone who loves my best friend the way that Sebastian loves Starling. It’s not a nice love. There’s nothing pretty about their relationship. It’s ugly and toxic, but at the very core of it is an enduring love that is as beautiful as it is horrifying.

When Starling and I first became friends, Sebastian didn’t try to hide how much he disliked me. To be honest, he actually straight-up told me he hated me on more than one occasion. He even subtly tried to warn me away, but I’m not scared of him, no matter how crazy he might be. I’m not sure when things changed, but somewhere in the last year, he and I became friends. Now, he’s like a crazy older brother. He’s brusque, rude, overbearing, and a pain in the ass, but he’s protective of me, and I don’t hate it.

Laughing lightly, I turn toward him and smile. “That shit might work on Starling, but she loves your crazy ass.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Starling whimpers, her voice breaking as her eyes turn glassy.

Inhaling sharply, I exhale a ragged breath and try to force a smile to my trembling lips. I love all my friends, but Starling is different. She’s my bestie, the one person I’d legitimately help bury a body. “It’s not like we’d never see each other again.” Pausing, I try to decide how to word this to make them all understand why I’m making this choice. “But I think it’s time for me to stop pretending I’m one of you.”

The silence in the group is so loud, I can hear the rapid beating of my own heart.

“You’re one of us,” January says, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

January is such a beautiful soul. After everything she endured at the hands of her family, she could be hard and angry, but instead she’s chosen to see the good in the new life she’s created for herself. If I didn’t know just how in love with her Clay was, I’d say he wasn’t good enough for her.

---