Page 16 of Oblivion

“He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” Sammy’s gorgeous face fills the small screen of Starling’s cell, her smile wide and happy. When she holds her hand up, I see it, the massive, perfect diamond decorating her ring finger.

She’s engaged.

Sammy isengaged.

My Sammy is engaged.

Overwhelming, furious desolation starts at the top of my head and slowly consumes me until there’s nothing left. That’s it. It’s over. She’s lost, and there’s nothing I can do to bring her back. Who am I kidding? She was never truly mine in the first place. But even knowing that I shouldn’t ever have tried to hold on to Sammy doesn’t lessen my devastation. Capturing something that never belonged to you is like trying to capture a wild spirit, but somewhere hidden deep inside of me, I’d hoped that if I’d held her close, eventually I’d be able to figure out a way to deserve her.

Over and over, she’s danced around me, giving me hope that one day I could find a way to love her and keep her without destroying her, but the moment I’ve tried to reach for her, my guilt and self-loathing have turned her into a wisp, and shespirited away. Too free, too wild to ever be tied down by me and my issues.

Now she’s willingly tied herself to someone, and that person isn’t me. She’s picked some guy she went to school with. Her ex. She’s his now, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

“You have to go and get her,” Starling rasps, dropping her cell to her lap and spinning to face me, her voice thick with emotion, her eyes brimming with tears as she pierces me with her gaze.

The last time Starling looked me right in the eyes was after she dropped Bunny’s tracker on the dining table and told me that the consequence of my actions was being forced to live with my own guilt. That drowning in it was my punishment. I heard her that day, and I felt the full force of her hatred.

Since she came here, she’s done her best to hide the depth of her pain and anger over the way we’ve treated her in the past, like she was worried we’d somehow use it against her. But since that day, her emotions have been leaking out of her, like the lid to her box has finally broken, and she can’t repress herself anymore.

But she’s not looking at me with hate now. As tears drip from her eyes, she’s not angry. She’s desperate. She’s looking at me and asking me to help, and I have no idea how I say no, even though I know I should.

Starling’s and my history is ugly and peppered with so many terrible things. The things my brothers and I did to her are horrific. They’re unforgivable, and although she and Sebastian are married now, I know that no matter how much time passes, deep down, she’ll always hate us.

For the last year, I’ve done everything I can to try to make up for all the awful things we did to her. I’ve pushed Starling to repair her relationship with her mom. I’ve defended the other girls who have joined our family and done my best to protectthem from the people we are, but it’s not enough, and it never will be.

“She’s engaged,” I rasp, hating the words as they fall from my lips and completely failing to hide my anger that my Sammy belongs to someone else. Prior to this moment, I’d have said I’d do literally anything to try and fix my relationship with my sister, but Sammy is the exception to everything, and I don’t know what exactly Starling expects me to do.

Blinking huge, tear-filled eyes, Starling looks at me, really looks me in the eye. “She told me about him. They were a couple in high school, but his family is all big into politics. His dad is the governor of their state or the mayor or something. She told me she’d loved him, but she was sure he only loved her when she was being quiet and looking pretty. He made her sensor herself, and they broke up because she knew she could never be the perfect politician’s wife he wanted her to be. He wants her to be well-dressed and silent. She said she felt like his accessory, that he spoke down to her and deliberately belittled her in front of his friends and his father’s political connections. He isn’t the guy for her. This is wrong, Evan. You have to go and get her.”

“She’s not mine,” I rasp, forcing the words out, even though I know it’s not true.

“You love her. We all see it,” January says, shocking me.

January is by far the quietest of us all. For eighteen years, her family abused and hid her simply because she was a girl and not the male heir they wanted and expected. When she married Clay, he was a fucking asshole to her, and although he’s working on making things up to her, sometimes the shadows of her past are so clearly reflected back in her eyes. She’s definitely gotten more comfortable with us in the months since the wedding, but she’s still tentative about speaking out.

I know I haven’t exactly been discreet or tried to hide my feelings for Sammy, but I’ve also never done anything to activelypursue her. Unless Sammy told them aboutthatnight. So, for January to bring up my feelings and suggest that it’s common knowledge, both embarrasses and enrages me.

“She’s not being coerced into marrying him. She was happy. She was giggling and flashing the ring. This is what she wants,” I growl, gritting my teeth as the image of her gushing over her engagement fills my mind.

Starling stands from her chair and steps toward me. “Please, Evan. Please, big brother. If you love her, go and fight for her,” she pleads, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Her words hit like a steel bar to my stomach. She has never, not once, claimed me as a brother. She usually calls me her mom’s husband’s son, and to have her dangling the sibling relationship she knows I so desperately want in front of me is just fucking cruel.

“Now, I’m your brother when you want something,” I rasp, hurt lacing each word as it spills from my lips.

Lifting her chin, she looks at me, and I feel myself sway at the intensity of her gaze. “If you bring Sammy back here where she belongs, I’ll call you my brother and let you tell everyone you meet. You’ll be Uncle Evan to mine and Sebastian’s kids. I’ll even make it Facebook official. If you do this, you’ll be my brother in every way that matters. You love her, Evan. Please don’t let her make the mistake of marrying someone she doesn’t love, who won’t appreciate how fucking awesome she is, just because she’s scared of being one of us.”

Inhaling sharply, I feel the impact of what she’s saying. For over a year, Sammy has been an integral part of our group, our family, but at the end of summer break, she told us all that she was transferring to Harvard. That she loved us, but that she couldn’t keep pretending she was one of us.

At the time, I’d been shocked to know that she felt that way. She’s family, and we all told her that, but even after Clay hackedinto the Harvard acceptance computers and deleted her transfer request, I think we could all see the doubt in her mind. I’d hoped that when she came back to school, spending time as a family together would silence her concerns. But instead, her dad had a heart attack, and she stayed in DC to take care of her family.

Even as the image of her happy smiling face fills my thoughts again, I wonder if her questioning her place with us had an impact on her deciding to say yes to her asshole ex. Did she pick him simply because it was a safer, familiar option?

“And if she won’t come with me?” I ask, considering if me talking to her would pull her back to us or push her even further away.

“I know you’ve been trying to be a better person since I came back into your life. I know you went to bat for January, and you threatened to leave if Clay didn’t pull his head out of his ass. But deep down, you’re still the person who helped trap me. You’re still the person who would do anything to help Sebastian force me to be with him, the person who helped Hunter trap Bunny. I’ve thrown your behavior back in your face so many times, and I know it makes me the world’s biggest hypocrite to tell you to do what I’ve demonized you for doing in the past. But if you doubt for even a second that she’s not—head over heels, the world will end if he leaves me, my universe starts and ends with this man—crazy for Drew, then you have my complete permission and unending support to do whatever it takes to bring her home to us.”

I feel the audible shock ricochet through the room at her words. I heard her speak, heard the words that just came from her mouth, but they can’t be true. She can’t mean what I think she does. She hates me. She hates all of us for what we did to her, and deep down, we all know we deserve that hatred. When January came into Clay’s life, she advocated so hard for her, was frantic to make sure that she never became another victimof our obsessive, controlling love. When Hunter’s manipulation and coercion to force Bunny to marry him came to light, Starling orchestrated Bunny’s escape, even going so far as to cut the tracker from Bunny’s neck so she could run from Hunter without the fear of him following after her.

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